How do you recover from the after-holidays Crud? We use Ricola!

It’s a record! My family made it all the way through the holiday season and into the new year WITHOUT getting sick. But, the streak could only last so long.

Yesterday, in the middle of being snowed in, my oldest complained of a headache. Headache quickly turned into a fever, which quickly turned into him being horribly miserable. I always feel awful for my kids when they’re feeling this nasty. I don’t want to go near them, because I don’t want to catch it (I’m a miserable sick person), but I also want to comfort them.

How do you go about comforting your kids when they’re sick?

I always try to tell my kids to just rest- lie down on the couch and let your body focus on recovering. Watch some TV. Just relax! They’re completely unlike me in that regard. They have zero interest in slowing down. They don’t want to veg out, or nap, or anything else. They WANT to be up, and around, and playing with all the new stuff they got for Christmas.

                                                                     This is not resting

It drives me nuts, but I can’t strap them to their beds or tie them to the couches, so I have to find ways to help them feel better while they’re up and about.

Healthy well-rounded meals, early bed times (hey, if they won’t nap, I’m gonna make SURE they get extra sleep somehow!), lots of liquids, warm ones if their throats hurt, hand-washing- LOTS OF HAND WASHING, and a (clean) handful of Ricola.

Ricola has become a serious staple in my household, and I don’t think we’ve ever spent a year as healthy as we have been while using the Immunity Drops (being completely honest!)–but even when we’re unhealthy– it’s there to help.

Have you tried the Dual Action Cough Drops? They are a sore throat’s dream. From the unique blend of ten natural Swiss alpine herbs, to natural menthol and soothing syrup center, they’re the best thing I’ve ever used to comfort my kids when their throats are sore and scratchy–and they’ve really been saving us these past 24 hours with the sickly one!
Ricola Dual Action Cough Drops come in two yummy flavors: Swiss Cherry and Honey Lemon.

Effective, natural, delicious- quiets down the house, your throat, your kids. Run out to your local CVS or Walgreens and stock up…. because I’m not sharing!

 

I’m sharing #Ricola  in my life as part of a Ricola sponsored series for Socialstars™

Posted on January 9, 2017 by Holdin' Holden 0 Comment

Me vs. the Kids: Snowpocalypse 2017

I don’t know if you know this- but there’s a storm a’comin’ for these here southern states. I don’t know if you know this, but these here southern states are never EVER prepared for these kinds of storms–whether they dump a foot of snow or so little it barely dusts the still-green grass– any kind of white precipitation means our states are closed. Don’t come here. Don’t try to use the roads. Don’t try to go anywhere. Don’t think you can escape your frickin’ family, because you can’t. You’re snowed in. Deal with it.

My kids are thrilled. Nothing could make them happier than the prospect of snow to play in and possible cancelled days of school. I remember those days. Only… we could have a foot of ice on the street and the buses would still come even if you broke your ass trying to walk to the bus stop, but I digress. I used to love the snow. I would play outside until my fingers froze, and I’d have to come back in and sit by the fire and listen to my mom lecture me about frostbite, but I didn’t care. I went full Frozen Anna and built a snowman, and nothing was better than that. It’s almost like kids don’t even notice how cold it is until they’re crying about the tingles in their extremities from being frozen to the damn bone.

We woke up this morning going from there being a winter storm warning to it being a guaranteed SNOWPOCALYPSE. Guaranteed snowfall. Possible “blizzard-like” conditions. Basically, this means we aren’t going AN-EE-WHEREEEEEE.

My kids reaction:

7 year old: I can’t wait to make snow angels!
9 year old: I can’t wait to have a snowball fight!

20+ years ago, I had the same reaction, but as time passed, my love of all things flurry falling from the sky faded away and deep within me grow a dark, icky brown mound of hatred of all snow types. I hated that it trapped me. I hated that it ruined my plans to get out of the house. I NEEDED TO LIVE! I NEEDED TO BE PRODUCTIVE! I HAD THINGS TO GO! PLACES TO BE! This hatred has boiled within me for for well over a decade now. Unfortunately, not enough to melt the evil that is snow, but yeah–boiling.

Yet still, most recently, something again has changed. No, I didn’t go all Grinch, and my heart didn’t grow three sizes, and I still f’ing HATE SNOW… but only because I hate the cold, it’s evil, I don’t like it when it makes my face hurt, I’m clumsy, I don’t wanna slip and die. Not because it ruined my plans.

I now hear that snow is coming down, and I think, “well, at least I don’t have to go anywhere.”

Is this it? Is this how it ends? Is this how I die? Is this the final stage of life? I went from loving snow, to hating snow because it ruined my plans, to loving that it ruins my plans.

If this is it, if this is how it ends- comfy on my couch, snowed the fuck in

Posted on January 6, 2017 by Holdin' Holden 0 Comment

We Did Absolutely NOTHING over Winter Break–and it was Everything I Thought it Could be.

I’ve been sitting here on my couch for a solid 20 minutes, fingers hovering above the keys on my keyboard, reflecting upon the past 2 weeks of what the schools refer to as “winter break”, unable to type a single thing. I expected to have funny stories, adventures to share. Anecdotes, quips, tales of horror and calorie consumption. Something, ANYTHING interesting to write, but I don’t. For the first time EVER, nothing happened over Christmas break. No one puked after the bell tolled 12 on New Year’s Eve. No one pooped under the Christmas tree (no, that’s never happened. The puking, yes). No one ignored the expensive toy they were given and preferred the box instead. NOTHING. Just….. nothing.

Typically, when I can’t think of anything to share, I don’t- why force it? This time, it’s a little bit different.

I don’t really think anyone wants to hear about how I spent the better part of 2 days watching The Twilight Zone & Harry Potter, or how on New Year’s Day after eating breakfast, we all climbed back in bed and basically rolled around drowsily until 11am. I didn’t go on any adventures. We didn’t travel- my Dad’s house is about 15 minutes away in the next town over and we spent only Christmas Day there stuffing ourselves full of food and playing a few games. We didn’t go caroling. Didn’t have a party on New Year’s Eve.

We cooked and the kids helped. We ordered takeout and ate dinner on the couch. We learned how to play the new video game they got for Christmas together. We avoided leaving the house. We spent days in pajamas.

Looking back on the break, we did almost nothing productive. Why am I telling you about it, then?

I get the feeling that a lot of you reading this had a similar winter break to mine. It wasn’t exciting. It didn’t give you many stories to share– and when looking back on it, it’s easy to think “Man, why didn’t we do more together?”– especially when you read about all the fantastical things everyone else did. And that’s when I had this weird, tiny, dim bulb go off in my head, and like I said, this is no epiphany or realization or really anything else–but even doing nothing together is still doing something TOGETHER. Am I right? I’m pretty sure I am.

It didn’t matter that we weren’t out in the world, weren’t doing anything productive, never left the house, didn’t bother getting dressed- we spent the holidays doing all these lazy unproductive things side by side, and isn’t that what the holidays are about?

I try to think of it this way– it’s not quality over quantity or quantity over quality, but just being there, for however long, together.

Posted on January 3, 2017 by Holdin' Holden 2 Comments

11 Realistic New Year’s Resolutions for Moms

We’ve officially reached that dark, fuzzy time of year where Christmas has passed, but the new year has not yet arrived, and we can never quite seem to remember what day it is. All we know is we have begun filling ourselves full of unrealistic hopes for a better year than the shithole that was the one we’re still stuck in, and our newsfeeds are full of “New Year, New Me!” nonsense from our friends and relatives.

Why set ourselves up for failure? Why make promises we know we won’t keep? Why give ourselves reasons to hate this new year before it’s even begun?

Why even MAKE resolutions if you know you’re not going to keep them? Good question! Normally, I don’t– but there’s something to be said for listening to someone lament about how quickly they broke their resolutions and being able to smile and respond “I kept and completed all 30 of mine already.”

Bragging rights, people. BRAGGING. RIGHTS.

Okay, so that’s not the only reason. There’s just something that feels good, when you’re surrounded by the chaos of children, to accomplish something. Even just a little something.

Today, I offer to you, some very achievable “resolutions” you can check off your list, even when you don’t have the time to drink a cup of coffee before it gets cold, or pee without someone knocking at the door.

  1. Pick up a piece of ice that falls on the floor instead of kicking it under the fridge
  2. Avoid yelling at the kids for 10 consecutive minutes (a toughie, but I know with hard work & perseverance, you can do it!)
  3. Read a book a chapter of a book in one sitting.
  4. Buy yourself something you want (not NEED) without feeling guilty
  5. Make a box dinner WITHOUT going back to the trashcan to look at the box 3 times. 2 times is acceptable.
  6. Watch something on television that ISN’T animated while the kids are still awake.
  7. Eat something sweet without sharing.
  8. Get to an appointment/event/movie/whatever without the kids making you late.
  9. Go an ENTIRE DAY keeping enough patience to not want to sell the kids to the circus.
  10. Somehow manage to stay awake until your own bed time without dozing off on the couch.
  11. Finish a load of laundry (washing, drying & folding) in the same day. JUST ONE. I’M NOT A MONSTER I SWEAR

 

See? There’s no reason to think about New Year’s Resolutions as impossible to keep, too time consuming, too stressful. The above may not make you richer, or healthier, or change you into a better person– but they’ll make you feel good, and after the crap past year, feeling good is pretty great.

 

Posted on December 27, 2016 by Holdin' Holden 0 Comment

The Twelve Days of Christmas Break- An Ode to Parents

I know there aren’t 12 days of Christmas Break for everyone’s kids, but around here, it’s weirdly exact. SO exact that I decided I had to write a little ode to all the parents bearing through it with me to the well-known (and much cringe-worthy) tune of The Twelve Days of Christmas.

SO, sing along with me! Or cringe along with me. Whichever.

On the first day of Christmas Break my children gave to me– a migraine the size of a tree.

On the second day of Christmas Break my children gave to me–
TWO clogged toilets,
and a migraine the size of a tree (it just keeps growing, I swear).

On the third day of Christmas Break my children gave to me–
THREE whiny tantrums
TWO clogged toilets
and a gross cup of cold coffee

On the fourth day of Christmas Break my children gave to me–
FOUR destroyed rooms
THREE whiny tantrums
TWO clogged toilets
and zero time alone to go pee

On the fifth day of Christmas Break my children gave to me–
FIVE broken things (seriously, I’m not even sure what they broke. I’m afraid to look)
FOUR destroyed rooms
THREE whiny tantrums
TWO clogged toilets
and the loss of all my sanity

On the sixth day of Christmas Break my children gave to me–
SIX “I’m bored”s
FIVE broken things (honestly just hoping it’s their own crap)
FOUR destroyed rooms
THREE whiny tantrums
TWO clogged toilets
and a sink full of dishes for me

On the seventh day of Christmas Break my children gave to me–
SEVEN time outs
SIX “I’m bored”s
FIVE broken things (I don’t get up unless it’s for the smell of smoke)
FOUR destroyed rooms
THREE whiny tantrums
TWO clogged toilets
And wishing it were January

On the eighth day of Christmas Break my children gave to me–
EIGHT loads of laundry
SEVEN time outs
SIX “I’m bored”s
FIVE broken things (one of them is my will to live)
FOUR destroyed rooms
THREE whiny tantrums
TWO clogged toilets
And wishing I were day drinking

On the ninth day of Christmas Break my children gave to me–
NINE brand new gray hairs
EIGHT loads of laundry
SEVEN time outs
SIX “I’m bored”s
FIVE broken things (we used to have a pocket door that worked)
FOUR destroyed rooms
THREE whiny tantrums
TWO clogged toilets
And constant ear-ringing

On the tenth day of Christmas Break my children gave to me–
TEN empty wrappers (how do they eat so much in such a short period of time??)
NINE brand new gray hairs
EIGHT loads of laundry
SEVEN time outs
SIX “I’m bored”s
FIVE broken things (I give up)
FOUR destroyed rooms
THREE whiny tantrums
TWO clogged toilets
And enough stress to make me want to scream

On the eleventh day of Christmas Break my children gave to me–
ELEVEN dirty dishes
TEN empty wrappers
NINE brand new gray hairs
EIGHT loads of laundry
SEVEN time outs
SIX “I’m bored”s
FIVE broken things
FOUR destroyed rooms
THREE whiny tantrums
TWO clogged toilets
And a left up toilet seat

On the twelfth day of Christmas Break my children gave to me—
Nothing. I have nothing left. Sweet angel of death take me now!
ELEVEN dirty dishes
TEN empty wrappers
NINE brand new gray hairs
EIGHT loads of laundry
SEVEN time outs
SIX “I’m bored”s
FIVE broken things
FOUR destroyed rooms
THREE whiny tantrums
TWO clogged toilets
And enough memories to haunt my dreams

 

Seriously. Save me.

Posted on December 23, 2016 by Holdin' Holden 0 Comment