A Suit to suit your needs.

I’ll admit that I don’t know much of anything about suits.. mostly because i’m a woman and have never had an occasion to wear one to, and partly because I just don’t have the money to spend on one.
Thomas owns a few, they don’t fit perfectly and he got them on sale. To get a suit tailored is just one more expense to tack onto the cost of buying one in the first place.
It’s always good to have at least one suit though. For weddings, events, special occasions. Renting one over and over again is not only time consuming but adds up in price. That, and you can never be quite sure how it’s going to fit you- considering the people working in those little booths in the mall are probably only getting paid minimum wage and could probably not care less about how you look.

MySuitNY.com is a company with over 40 years experience in the suit making industry- a branch of one of the largest in the world. They will sell you a made-to-measure custom suit at close to off-the-rack prices.
All you have to do is go to the website and make an appointment for a fitting.
They have every kind of style you could dream of, and a ton of fabric selections to suit (no pun intended) your need.
My personal favorite would be the 3-button jacket in the wool dark-grey pinstripe.
If you go to the website and check out the “My.Suit.Experience”, you can see every style they have to offer, you’ll most likely find something you like. Then make your appointment and go, and you’ll have your suit in 2 weeks.
If you’re going to buy a suit, get one that fits, one that is your style, and won’t bankrupt you. Check out MySuitNY.com
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Posted on October 31, 2008 by Holdin' Holden 0 Comment

Sunshine and Rainbows y’all!

Like OH EM GEE you guys! Today was the most perfect day in all of perfection! My life is so totally perfect, you just wouldn’t believe it!

I woke up on this glorious morning to my angel child smiling at me. He is just the best baby ever!
he never EVER cries, he never whines.. he is just a ray of sunshine every single day!

I could not be happier, and life could not be more grand- lemme tell you!

Holden is all over the place, giggling and walking and eating things he shouldn’t be eating- throwing food.. but that’s okay, because I never ever get irritated or frustrated with him! I’m the best mom EVER y’all!
It helps that my baby is the BEST BABY IN THE WORLD! He is the perfect child! Oops, did I already say that? Let me say it again- HE IS SO PERFECT AND WELL BEHAVED!
I could just snuggle him into itty-bitty baby pieces! And then eat him! I bet he’d taste like cotton candy and rainbows! WEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!

*vomits*
Was that as painful for you as it was for me??
I mean, seriously.. Who wants to read crap like that? It’s obviously exaggerated, no one’s that perfect and patient.
If all of my blogs were full of that sugary BS, would you come back and read every day?
Sure, maybe you got a giggle out of how ridiculous it was.. but it certainly doesn’t seem like a good read to me.
Maybe it’s because I like to laugh.. I don’t like to gloss over things because they might not be perfect and positive and pleasant. I like getting to the nitty-gritty. If I feel a certain way, I have no hesitance in sharing it.
If that makes me a bad parent… well, then.. I guess i’m just AWFUL aren’t I? I’m sure as hell not apologizing for what I write, partly because it’s how I feel and i’m not ashamed of it, and partly because it’s the TRUTH.
Reminds me of a famous line..
“YOU WANT THE TRUTH??? YOU CAN’T HANDLE THE TRUTH!”

Let’s face it, parenthood is a messy business. Why should I wrap it up nicely with a pretty little bow on top when that just isn’t how it really is? Why would anyone want me to? That doesn’t make any kind of logical sense.

For real y’all, if you can’t handle or don’t agree with what I write about- walk away… ‘Cause I sure as hell won’t be posting flowery-delusional-Britney Spears-like blogs any time in the future. And that’s a promise.

Posted on October 30, 2008 by Holdin' Holden 4 Comments

(Perpetual)Diamonds are a girl’s best friend

Cheesy, I know- but can you tell me you don’t love diamonds? How about.. gold? Watches? How about Gold ROLEX watches?
Perpetual Diamonds offers genuine Rolex watches (complete with serial number) at huge discounts off of manufacturer’s prices.

If you don’t think you can afford a new Rolex, they also sell certified pre-owned. So you can still get the watch you’ve always dreamed off at a much less painful price.


tell me that isn’t a good-looking watch.
For your boyfriend, husband, yourself.. birthday gift, anniversary.. Whatever the occasion, a Rolex is guaranteed to please. So if you’re in the market, use a company that is trusted.. and has the best prices! Check out Perpetual Diamonds.


The owner of this site will be receiving compensation from this advertiser. The opinion stated is 100% true.

Posted on October 30, 2008 by Holdin' Holden 2 Comments

With the Good comes the Bad

I get a lot more positive feedback than negative feedback on my blog entries, but like any normal person-the bad comments tend to be the ones that stick with me.

The most common misconception that comes with becoming a first time parent is that you have to completely change who you are or you aren’t a good parent. You can’t have friends, go out at night, drink, have the same sense of humor- and none of that is even remotely true.
Is it harder to do the things you did before having a child? Of course. You obviously have to make adjustments- but to change who you are is not only going to make you miserable, but don’t you want your kids to know the real you? I lost my mother as a teenager, and I can say I would have loved to have known more about her outside as her life as a mom.

You do not have to become a humorless stick in the mud to be a good parent, sure- dead baby jokes may not be funny anymore, but a sense of humor is incredibly important to being able to handle the every day stresses of taking care of a small child. For some reason in my year of being a mommy i’ve encountered quite a few people who think you (or should I say I) shouldn’t be able to joke about your kid, shouldn’t be able to vent.. shouldn’t be able to say anything that isn’t laced with sugar- including a few anonymous commenters here.

If you don’t think my blog is funny, if it isn’t your cup of tea- that’s your opinion and that’s fine.. but if you’d go as far as to call me a bad parent because I don’t sugarcoat parenthood then maybe you should sit down and figure out where you lost your sense of humor. Then go and read ‘Chicken Soup for the Humorless Soul’
No one’s forcing you to be here.

I find it baffling that some people can’t understand that a lot of what I write is laced with sarcasm.. is tongue-in-cheek.. even a dash of exaggeration thrown in there for the purpose of humor. If you don’t get that, you shouldn’t be here.

Being honest does not make me a bad parent, it does not make me a negative person. It makes me human. I see nothing wrong with talking about the rough part of being a parent and making it funny. As i’ve said before: anyone who claims their kid doesn’t at LEAST occasionally get on their nerves is a liar. Afraid to be labeled as a ‘bad parent’ because they don’t have the patience of a Saint.

I love Holden more than life itself but that doesn’t mean i’m going to lie and claim he doesn’t annoy me at times, isn’t whiny, never cries, or is the perfect angel child some people would like others to believe their child is. That wouldn’t be the truth, and if there is one thing I am, it’s honest.

If you can’t find the humor in what I write- that’s fine- but for those saying you ‘feel sorry for Holden’… I feel sorry for you- for you have completely missed the entire point of this blog.
We can love our children and still find them bratty at times, still have a sense of humor. We can love our children and still be honest about how frustrated we get with them. I pity anyone who feels like they can never vent about their children because of how they think it will make them seem to other people.

I’ll say it again- there is NOTHING wrong with venting, feeling frustrated or overwhelmed. You wanna call your kid a bratty turd? I won’t think any less of you.

Would you really want to read a blog full of
“my baby is soooo perfect. We had a perfect day! Butterflies and rainbows and sunshine!”
I wouldn’t. And if that’s what you’re looking for- there are about a billion mommy-blogs just like that for you to go and read and roll around in the sugary-sweetness. That ain’t me. And I would die of boredom writing it.
Could I? Sure. There are plenty of things that make me feel all warm and snuggly throughout the day that Holden does- but that’s not why I write this blog. This blog is meant to be HUMOROUS. It’s meant to be funny, it’s not meant to paint me as a perfect mother- I never claimed to be one.
I will never not be me. I will never take parenting so seriously that I lose everything that makes me me. I will always take the ‘negative’ and make it funny. I’ll always tell the brutally honest truth about babies and being a mom.

Don’t like it? Go somewhere else. Find your rainbow-shitting blog and stop reading mine. Don’t come here and think that you’re going to make me feel like a bad parent by leaving condescending anonymous comments (brave, lemme tell you). Don’t assume you know anything about what kind of parent I am from a blog that’s meant to be funny.
So I don’t write about the warm and fuzzies- that’s not what I like to write about. Get over it.

For those who may be single, in a relationship, preggo, mommies, daddies.. whatever, that read this blog and DO find it funny, DO get the humor, and come back for more? Even if you may not agree with everything I write, if it gives you a chuckle- thanks for reading. I hope I continue to give you laughs based on baby poop and leaky boobs.

Today Holden got hold of a bag of chips and spread them all over the carpet and mashed them while I was washing dishes. By the time I got to him, he had them smeared all over his face, into the carpet, on his clothes.. and just gave me this look of “I didn’t do it!” while shoving handfulls into his mouth.
Did I laugh? yep.
Am I gonna lie and say it wasn’t an obnoxious thing for him to do? Nope!

Evil chip-smearing turdy baby!

Posted on October 29, 2008 by Holdin' Holden 4 Comments

Baby Fever can suck it

After giving birth to Holden, the LAST thing on my mind was getting knocked up again. What was on my mind was the mind-numbing pain coming from all the stitches holding my vagina together, but that’s not the point..
I have a plan.. no more babies until Holden is out of diapers. I’d actually like to wait until he’s in kindergarten so that he gets my full attention until he’s ‘out of the house’ and the new baby would get all of my attention during the day.
That.. and the thought of taking care of two young screaming children terrifies me to the core. I literally think i’d go insane.. Anyways..
Sounds like a good plan, right? I think so.

Regardless of how set in my ways I am, it doesn’t stop me from swooning every time I see a cute preggo walking through the store.. picking out tiny little clothes and grimacing through the diaper and formula section, not knowing which to buy.
And you’d better keep me AWAY from the itty-bitty babies being effortlessly carried through the store while I painfully lug around my 27+ lb one year old.

I start missing the old days. Having that big fat baby belly and having people stare at you and say awwwwww’ (kind of like I do now). Feeling the intense karate kicks from the spawn growing inside your uterus.. Carrying around a teeny-tiny little lump of baby cuteness without losing feeling in your arms or having your back start to hurt after 5 minutes.

Baby fever, in full effect. And once it hits you it is STRONG and unrelenting.

And the feeling doesn’t just go away in the snap of your fingers.. it lasts. Sometimes a few days, sometimes a week. Your crazy once-preggo brain starts thinking how fabulous it would be to make a new bundle of joy. To be able to have a cuddly, bottle-slurping, always sleeping ‘infant’.. because your child is no longer considered an infant, but is now a toddler- and you will never get those days back.
I have a complete lapse of judgement until the thought of stretch marks, contractions, pushing a huge bowling ball out of my snatch, AGAIN, recovery time.. being up ALL NIGHT every night.. OMG will this new baby have reflux? How can I handle two?? Can we even AFFORD another money-sucking formula guzzler?

And then I realize i’m being completely and totally insane and idiotic, and start thanking my lucky stars that my stupidity didn’t take me far enough to utter those 3 words that you can’t ever take back:

“Don’t pull out”

Once those words have been spoken they can not be undone, then you go into the dreaded ‘2 week wait’, and those two weeks are LONG. Full of wondering WHY you ever thought another baby was a good idea, OMG I CAN’T DO THIS and PLEASE let that piss-stick come up negative.

Nope, never got that far.. and I hope to never have a brain lapse that large.
That’s not to say we haven’t had a few ‘oopsies’ (more like.. my period is NEVER regular, leading me to believe every cycle that I could be pregnant, even if the chances are incredibly slim.. because, well.. you have to have sex to get pregnant), which still makes me a pretty big moron because TRUST ME, as nice as another drooling sack of flesh would be..
it will only be nice after another 2…3… maybe 4 years.

Posted on October 28, 2008 by Holdin' Holden 4 Comments