You named your baby WHAT?!?

No matter how much you love the name you’re about to give your crotch-rocket, there will always be naysayers. Not everyone is going to love the name that you’ve fallen in love with.. and unfortunately they are incredibly vocal about it. To the point where it gets offensive.

Thomas and I knew from the start we didn’t want a ‘run of the mill’ ho-hum baby name. We wanted something different. Not necessarily a name you’d never heard before- but one that isn’t used so often that when he’s sitting in class and attendance is being called.. 5 other kids raise their hand at the same time.
We both have traditional, boring names. Thomas Michael.. zzzzzzz, Virginia Gail, super zzzz.
Not only is my name boring- but it’s the STATE I WAS BORN AND RAISED IN (and still live in today), so you can imagine the ridicule I received from booger-picking little hellions in school. Thanks Mom & Dad!!
Avoiding ridicule was another important factor.. but somehow kids will always find a way to tease you based on your name. That’s just the way it goes. That doesn’t mean you should name your kid Chlamydia because you ‘think it’s pretty’, or some of these HORRID names I keep hearing in the news where the courts have to step in to change the child’s name (what was it?? Zoola Does The Hula or some ridiculous shit?). Don’t even get me started on celebrity baby names (cough.. Pilot Inspektor.. cough).

It took us a LONG time to come up with a middle name for Holden.. we finally decided on Milo. We both instantly knew that was the name we wanted him to have- and while most of my friends told me they loved it (emphasis on, TOLD ME, who knows what they really think), I certainly did not expect my Dad’s negative reaction when we told him the name..

“It sucks, change it”

Thanks for the support, Dad! Your name is Bruce David.. My brother’s name is Bruce Frederick.. Sorry- but none of that appeals to me. Like I said, ho-hum boring. Those are kind of what I consider ‘dying names’- the ones no one uses anymore because.. well.. they’re old-timey and ugly.
I didn’t let his reaction change my mind whatsoever, but it definitely got under my skin. Didn’t his mother (my grandmother) teach him ‘if you don’t have anything nice to say, don’t say anything at all’?? Maybe he’s finally reached that age where he doesn’t realize what is appropriate and what is inappropriate to say anymore.
After a while, I started to revel in the fact that he disliked my soon-to-be child’s name. It became fun to know that he just couldn’t stand it. Maybe i’m just a glass-half-full kinda gal.

Sure, there are plenty of baby names i’ve heard that I just think are absolutely horrid- but as long as you aren’t naming your kid “ButtFart Turdy McTurdburglar”, “Chiquita”, or the ever popular “Chlamydia”, i’m not going to say anything to stop you.
Your best idea is to just not tell anyone what you’re naming your kid so they don’t have a chance to tell you how much it sucks and ruin the name for you (it’s happened to a few ladies I know). As much as you’d like to share in your excitement of naming your kid “Abarella”, or “Babe” for short- other people may not feel close to the same way about it.

I’m currently revelling in the fact that my Dad is absolutely going to HATE our next child’s name (assuming it’s a girl), and since he’ll be thinking it’s a totally different name up until birth- he won’t be able to say a DAMN thing about it. (cue evil laugh) Gotta love defiancy.

Posted on November 5, 2008 by Holdin' Holden 4 Comments

Anyone need new eyewear?

In our current economic state- it’s hard to find the money to pay for certain things we need. Eye wear seems to NEVER be cheap. The price of the frames and the price of the lenses together can sometimes knock us off our feet. I would know, i’ve had to pay for glasses without insurance before, a tough pill to swallow.
Still, eyeglasses is still obviously important, as you need to be able to actually SEE (especially while driving)- so finding the lowest prices is something we could all benefit from.

There’s a company called Zenni Optical (zennioptical.com) that actually has pretty decent prices for eye wear. Single vision glasses at $8.00, to bifocals at $25.00. Not to mention an incredibly wide arrange of frames. Rimless, titanium, metal, plastic.. the list goes on and on.
If I were to get a new pair, i’d totally go retro:

Those are only $19.. that’s about, oh… well over $100 less than I paid when I bought mine from Lens Crafters.

No one should have to go without glasses. I had to do it for a long time because I was so low on money- and it was NOT fun squinting to see everything.
This site would benefit anyone who needs new eyewear but just can’t afford to go to big-chain stores and pay big-chain prices.

Posted on November 5, 2008 by Holdin' Holden 0 Comment

It’s D-Day.. dun dun duuunnnnnn

They day we’ve all been waiting for- presidential election day!

I’ve honestly never been so nervous about an election in my life.. then again, i’ve only ever been able to participate in one other one (Bush vs Kerry).

There was so much speculation about going into the polls about being harassed about whom you were voting for that I was actually a little scared about going to vote.
I found out about two weeks ago that I was not registered to vote in the city I live in, but still at my Dad’s house.. where I haven’t lived in, oh, 4 years or so??
He lives about 30 minutes away in the middle of freaking nowhere.. in rich white suburbia, a.k.a McCain Country.

I haven’t said before- but I am a staunch Democrat. So going to McCain country to vote for Obama did not seem very appealing for me. Especially driving 30 minutes to get there with a one year old.

Luckily, it’s a very small town- so there were no lines to wait in (at ALL), which was a huge relief. I didn’t look forward to lugging around a 27+ pound baby (who refuses to sit in a stroller mind you), waiting in the wind and rain in a massively republican area.
None of that would actually keep me from voting. I get some weird adrenaline rush when I vote- my hands shake like a girl getting asked on her first date by a cute boy.

Surprisingly, there was ZERO hostility at the polls. As I walked up, the republican and democrat tents were chatting happily away (unlike last time, it was a tad hostile), commented on how cute Holden was, and sent me on my way.
Maybe I dodged a bullet, carrying an impossibly adorable child with me would detract from mud-slinging.. but the happy demeanor leads me to believe otherwise.

Holden didn’t seem to enthusiastic about voting- he gave everyone the stink eye. Not a single smile at any of the ladies volunteering, which is a little abnormal for him- but perhaps he knew this was the time to put on his “serious face.” Or maybe it was the wind.
He did, however, try to steal my ballot when I actually got down to having to fill in those little circles. Small towns = no electronic voting booths. I was tempted to put him on the floor and let him walk/crawl around the gym (we vote in schools here), but I feared the old lady taking tickets for the booths would fall and break a hip chasing after him. Can’t have that on my conscience.

Again, I am very surprised about the happy demeanor at the polling location considering this heated election. Some friends on myspace are STILL posting “NOBAMA!” bulletins.. which make me roll my eyes. It’s a little late to be telling people not to vote for Obama now.

Watching the results (very very VERY) SLOWLY come in is like pulling teeth to me. I hate the waiting game. And I HATE exit polls, because channels start calling one candidate or the other for the win before ANY votes have been counted.
It was incredibly discouraging at first- but now it looks like Obama will clinche the presidency. Which excites me to no end.

I’m not going to go into why I dislike McPalin so much, but i’ll just say that I would cry if they won and leave it at that.

What I know for sure.. is that I need to stop biting my freaking nails. I’ll regret it tomorrow if I bite them down to the nub over this election.. but it might be a worthy cause.

And one other thing.. if I never have to hear “MAVERICK!” again, I will consider today a good one- that word is like nails on a chalkboard and needs to be put out of its freaking misery.

ETA: my voting # was 667.. thank God I was behind ONE person in line! Voting as number 666 just would seem like a bad omen. Wonder if voter 666 voted McCain?

Posted on November 4, 2008 by Holdin' Holden 2 Comments

Stop it with the advice already!

One of the most annoying things about becoming a new parent is the amount of advice you’ll get from all kinds of places. Family, friends, even strangers seem to want to interject their opinions on your parenting- regardless of whether you ask for it or not. And more than likely.. it will be the latter.

Of course, there is some advice that has been incredibly valuable and I very much appreciate- such as ‘the dishes and housework can wait, your child is more important’ (because who doesn’t start freaking out about the dishes piling up in their sink and the cat hair rolling like tumbleweeds across the floor from the lack of spare time to clean), or ‘get a new pediatrician’ (trust me, lifesaver there). Unfortunately, the majority of advice you get is not so valuable- and walks the line of completely ridiculous.. or it can be downright annoying- because you didn’t ask, don’t need it, don’t want it and it can sometimes be offensive.

I could just be a Negative Nancy, and maybe other people appreciate all the advice that’s thrown in their direction… but somehow I highly doubt that.

The worst offenders in my experience is family. Older family to be more specific. Since you’re younger, they seem to assume you know absolutely nothing about being a parent and feel the need to give you advice as much as humanly possible. Perhaps this wouldn’t be so bad if they had actually had a baby in the past decade.. or two..
And for me- my family just assumes that all babies are exactly the same.
Small things like… that Holden just has ‘an air bubble’ and certain ways to burp him, when in fact I knew for sure that it was his reflux bothering him- and burping him those specific ways would cause him to splatter me in baby-vomit.
The amount of advice spewing from my family in the form of verbal diarrhea was insurmountable. After a while I think they got the hint to just stop giving it unless it’s asked for.. probably due to the death darts shooting from my eyes, or the blank look coming from my face as soon as they start in with the best way to stop Holden from screaming.

The worst advice by far came from our first pediatrician. We made the mistake of not choosing one BEFORE actually giving birth to Holden.. and chose a name off of a list we were given. Bad bad bad idea.
She told me things like.. To let my 3 week old son cry for up to 30 minutes because he “isn’t really in pain”-
I don’t knock people who use the Cry-It-Out method.. ON 6 MONTHS OLD, preferrably older. A newborn does NOT know how to manipulate, they are crying because they want something- not just to be annoying.. and leaving them to cry for THAT long can cause brain damage (just an FYI).
She also told me I was “holding him too much” to “never let him fall asleep on you”
say what?? There’s such a thing as holding your own child too much? In other countries, they hardly put their children DOWN, and those children grow up intelligent and well-adjusted.
The one that takes the cake is when she told me Holden had “colic”- what a freaking cop out. He had INTENSE reflux, and wouldn’t even consider the idea until I brought it up, then wouldn’t switch his medication when it wasn’t helping him, but making him worse.
Thank GOD we ash-canned her.

More recent ridiculousness? A crazy old lady who lives down the street telling us to ‘cover Holden’s ears or the cold will spread to his chest’
wait… what? Is that even possible? How would covering his ears stop his cold from getting into his chest? That doesn’t even make any logical sense. Yes, covering a kid’s head is a smart idea because of all the heat they can lose from it (especially with hardly any hair to help keep it in)… but to assume it would rid him of a cold is just plain stupid.

Or how about a cashier at Food-Lion telling us to put cheerios in the toilet for target practice while potty training, as we were buying diapers?
That might work for a 2 year old.. but Holden is 1. I don’t think he knows that piss even comes from his penis, much less to hold it in his hands and aim it at cheerios floating in toilet water. He hasn’t even peed on the toilet yet- he just thinks it’s this horrible contraption I stick his naked butt on to torture him at this point.

The worst part is, most of the time you just kind of have to sit back and take the advice. Well, not TAKE it.. but pretend to actually be listening. You don’t want to hurt someones feelings by telling them that their advice is completely ridiculous and downright stupid, or snap back “I didn’t ask you!’ (ok, you might want to, but you don’t out of kindness). The best thing to do is just to smile and nod… Y’know, unless they’re telling you to beat your kid with wire hangers or to shake a baby because “they think it’s fun!!”- then they deserve a verbal assault and a swift kick to the head.

Oh, hey- and remember to vote tomorrow!

Posted on November 3, 2008 by Holdin' Holden 3 Comments

Not a fan of Daylight Savings Time

Daylight Savings Time is something you don’t really notice when you’re single.. even married. Basically you don’t get bothered by it until you have a small child. Other than the ‘fall back’ portion, meaning you have to wake up ‘earlier’ for work, it’s nothing more than a small inconvenience.

This is Holden’s 3rd Daylights Savings switch. The first was when he was about a month and a half old. No big deal, his sleep was still all whacked from being a newborn anyways- so a switch in time was pretty much nothing. He was going to wake up every 2 hours or so regardless of time switch.
Switch number 2, ‘spring forward’, have to say was pretty awesome. For a while it tricked him into sleeping in later. I took no issue with that at all. More sleep for a tired mommy? Always a welcome thing in this house. The more sleep I get, the less of a bitch I am. I’m pretty sure Thomas was happy about that too.

Then comes switch number three, which obviously happened last night/this morning. ‘Fall back’.. in more ways than one. It’s like Holden reverted back to being a newborn again.

5:45 this morning rolls around and guess who’s awake and yelling for mommy or daddy to come get him from his crib? Yep, Holden. I’m pretty confident that it’s all because of Daylights Savings Time that he woke up so damn early, thinking it was 6:45 in the morning… which is still really early. What the hell ever happened to waking up at 8:30 and then going back to sleep after slurping down some formula (now milk)??

I’m already a little frazzled that he’s down to one nap a day, which was a HUGE and sudden change from the 3 he’d been taking previously.. and now for this stupid time change to go and screw things up even more? I’m gonna have a ‘poor me’ moment here and whine- WHYYYYYYYYYY????

Maybe i’m stupid, or having a super blond moment, but do we really need to change time twice a year? Wasn’t it for the farmers? Don’t they have lights? I dunno.
Makes me wish I lived in that weird little town in Arizona or wherever the hell it is that doesn’t participate in DST. Bucking the trend, I like that.

The time change threw all of us off all day. Holden was fussy and confused, ‘why am I eating now?? why aren’t I sleeping yet??? wtf is this??’
The only upside was that he passed OUT on our bed right after we turned the lights off. That literally never happens- bed time in this house is normally a knock-down drag-out fight. Holden wants to be a night-owl just like mommy & daddy.

ONE HOUR difference and i’m completely exhausted. I feel like a hump-backed, arthritis ridden, cracked out old lady.
I’m crossing my fingers that this will just be a temporary set back, and in a few days Holden will go back to sleeping until.. er.. anywhere from 6:30-7:30 in the morning.
When you’re a mom, even 20 more minutes of sleep is something you’ll fight tooth and nail for.

Maybe I should go to bed earlier.. but that might just add to the ‘i’m a crazy cracked out old lady’ feeling i’ve been having today- and i’ll have to take a pass on that.
25 is right around the corner and i’m hanging on to my youth for dear life.

Posted on November 2, 2008 by Holdin' Holden 4 Comments