The verdict is in

This morning, I drug myself out of bed ridiculously early and made my way to the oral surgeon. Filled out assloads of paperwork and was forced to sit in a room watching the news with a woman who wouldn’t STFU about her contempt for Obama, and finally got called back.
The nurse had my exact name and nickname (uncommon), I liked her immediately. I try to get my tongue ring out for the x-ray to be taken and the stupid thing won’t budge (but loves to come out at the most inopportune times.. like when i’m eating). Doesn’t matter, we do the x-ray anyways.
Go back to the room, and the surgeon comes in. He’s a no BS kind of guy. Very matter of-fact.. to the point where he’s sort of assholish, but I like that about him.

He examines my mouth, and says nonchalantly “oh yeah, this is a mess.” Duh.

The x-ray comes back a few minutes later, and i’m screwed. I didn’t luck out like I had hoped and get away with only having one wisdom tooth to pull- I have 3. Both top ones, and one bottom one. AWESOME! And the two that haven’t cut yet are DEEP. Even more awesomeness.

I’m then forced to watch a video not unlike the ones you were forced to watch about car crashes in drivers-ed. Risks of wisdom teeth, surgery facts, bla bla bla. Assholish surgeon probably just didn’t want me to berate him with a ton of questions.

Video finishes, same-name nurse and assholish surgeon come back into the room and start giving me ‘the talk’ about anesthesia. Of course, i’ve already decided there is NO WAY IN HELL I want to be awake while he’s slicing into my mouth and yanking teeth out. I explain this to him, and tell him about my fear of dentists- he laughs and I swear rolls his eyes and makes some sarcastic comment as though he doesn’t believe that i’m afraid of dentists, probably thinks i’m some anesthesia junkie, and then I have to sign an assload more paperwork stating that I understand the risks of surgery and being knocked out.

Then i’m told that because of my history of anemia and some other things, that I need to have bloodwork done in order to be put under. Yay, more hoops to jump through!
The sooner I get this done, the sooner I can have my surgery. If I get it done today, I can have my surgery Wednesday morning. Yay! And boo…
The bloodwork has to be done elsewhere- there is a lab in the hospital (which the surgeon’s office is sort of connected to, so at least if I try to die during surgery, I won’t be far from help).

Since Thomas is home for half of the day taking care of Holden, it was the best (and probably only) time to go. Begrudgingly I do so.

The lab is like a busy restaurant… with a senior citizens special. They gave me a pager that would buzz when my ‘table’ was ready. I sit down and am surrounded with old people who walk with cane, they all give me dirty looks. Probably cursing the fact that I can walk standing straight up.
I wait… and wait… and wait. Try to play Tetris on my phone, but it only has the demo version and therefore will only let me play for about 30 seconds.

Finally, my pager goes off. The nurse is nice. I’m so used to giving blood (when I was preggo I gave about 6 viles every time I went to my OB for a checkup) that it doesn’t even phase me anymore. Then it’s time for a pee sample (to make sure i’m not preggo, HAH!). The person before me failed to flush.Come on people! Takes less than a second, no one wants to see your stagnant piss.
There are signs on the wall literally showing you step-by-step procedure on how to pee in a cup. I will not go into detail, but I laughed… a lot.

I’m done doing my part.. so I go home, and Thomas goes back to work. Holden is in a ridiculously bad mood. Pees in the potty, and then craps in a fresh diaper. This day just gets more and more awesome!
I get a message from assholish-surgeon’s office saying that my lab work needed to be sent out to Norfolk because my new insurance said so (about 45 minutes away) and due to that, my lab work will not be back in time in order to get my surgery done on Wednesday.
Instantly, I am super pissed. I’m dealing with Holden (who is still in his god-awful mood), so I can not call them back.. I tell Thomas to.
He gets the run around from the lab, but is told that my lab work being sent out to Norfolk should in no way impede my scheduled surgery. He calls assholish-surgeon’s office back and tells them that, and they are confused but agree to go ahead and keep my surgery appointment on Wednesday instead of making me reschedule.

I then get another call from assholish-surgeon’s office saying that my insurance is covering all of the surgery except for $300.00… and they don’t offer a payment plan option so it’s all going to be need to paid up front. We don’t have $300 to be throwing around.. I am not pleased.

That is my day in a nutshell. My mouth hurts. If I get a call tomorrow saying (once again) that I can not get my surgery done on Wednesday… all hell will break lose.

Just take these bitches already!!!!

And people wonder why I hate dealing with doctors.

Posted on December 8, 2008 by Holdin' Holden 8 Comments

My quest to fill time

After Holden goes to bed at night, Thomas and I have hours of free time with honestly not a lot to do. We can’t be too loud, so having a raging party is out of the question.. We can’t honestly even have the TV too loud. Sigh.. curse of having a light sleeper for a child.
Anyways, we’ve started filling the time with little online games. Not games like World of Warcraft (GOD NO!), but just little time killers.

In my quest to fill my spare time, I came across a game that is meant for children… but c’mon, children’s games are fun for adults too!
Action AllStars Sports-themed Virtual World is (obviously) an online sports game- that’s free! I spent forever just creating my avatar. If you have children who love baseball or basketball (or if you’re an adult with some time to kill), this is perfect for them. It’s safe so there’s no worries about them getting themselves into trouble online. The games are fun and pretty easy to figure out, too. There are 4 arenas to choose from (levels to play in) so there’s a lot of stuff to do.. meaning you won’t get bored easily.

Now, if you’ll excuse me- It’s time to school someone in the fine art of the NBA.


Posted on December 8, 2008 by Holdin' Holden 0 Comment


Hard to believe this is my 100th post! I’m not sure it should really count as such considering a decent amount of stuff i’ve posted has been advertisements to make some extra cash on the side… but whatever- i’ll take it!

Pretty fitting for this to be post #100, considering tomorrow is my consultation for surgery to get this stupid wisdom tooth removed.. so I might just die via panic attack due to my extreme fear of dentists and having things yanked out of my face forcefully.
I wish I could say the surgery was actually HAPPENING tomorrow, but that’s extremely doubtful. I hate all the hoops you have to jump through in order to get things done these days. There’s always a middleman, resulting in more copays, more hassle, more stress, more time wasted.

I have this sinking feeling that they’re going to do an X-Ray and find more wisdom teeth they ‘need’ to pull… Or tell me I need an emergency root canal.. Or just tell me that my teeth totally suck. The sad thing is, I actually had really straight perfect teeth UNTIL I got braces. Pointless (expensive, painful, HIDEOUS) contraption.

Is it sad to hope that my wisdom tooth area is infected so they have to immediately remove it? Anything to get it done sooner! I’m tired of not sleeping well, only to wake up and the entire left side of my face is throbbing. And adult orajel SUCKS. Holden’s weak ass stuff did the trick better, and for longer.

I wish I had something more poignant to write on this historic day… but.. I don’t, so i’m going to go watch trashy reality tv now!

Oh, and thanks for reading!

Posted on December 7, 2008 by Holdin' Holden 3 Comments

Poo fright

Have you ever been in a public restroom alone, sat down to pee, had someone else walk in and suddenly just not be able to tinkle? You concentrate and try to push that pee out, but nothing happens because your bladder suddenly gets shy due to the fact that someone else might be able to hear your stream hit the water?
It’s happened to me too many times to count. Not like I really care about peeing when someone else is in the room but can’t see me- when you gotta go you gotta GO.. and i’m not one of those girls that slips a squeaky fart out as soon as I start peeing- so there’s really nothing too embarrassing about it. My bladder disagrees, it seems to have stage fright.

Holden seems to have a case of ‘Poo Fright.’ This week is the first week where he’s actually pooped in his mini-potty (YAY!), but there are conditions that come along with his bowel movements. You can be in the room, you can be sitting two feet from him.. But the one thing you can NOT be doing is looking at him while he’s trying to push a turd out.
I’m still in the ‘honeymoon phase’ of Holden pooping and/or peeing on the potty, so of course when I hear him start to grunt I get super excited and look over at him.. in return I get the look of death ‘Don’t look at me while i’m POOPING!!!’ and he stops all bowel movement. As soon as I stop looking at him, he resumes happily pushing.

I can totally understand not wanting someone staring you down while you’re trying to rid your colon of crap- although Holden definitely does not understand the concept of embarrassment yet (obviously, he loves running around naked from the waist down with his peep dangling for anyone and everyone to see).

I guess I should just thank my lucky stars that potty training is moving along swimmingly (almost literally, HAH!), and that Holden finally seems to actually enjoy potty time, and understands that i’m not just sitting him on a plastic torture device for me own personal enjoyment.

Definitely doesn’t look like torture to me.

To go a tad off topic, this weekend is the first time Thomas has actually been home to witness Holden go #2 on the potty, and I don’t think he quite believed the absolute disgustingness that is cleaning baby turds out of a mini-potty. He probably thought I was exaggerating.
So being the awesome wife that I am, when Holden dropped a deuce and Thomas was around- I announced HE would be the one to clean it up while I went to get Holden a potato chip as reward.
And what did I hear coming from the bathroom? “OH MY GOD! EWWWW, THE SMELL!!!! THIS IS DISGUSTING!”
Ahhh, the sweet smell of satisfaction.

I think having to clean out the mini-potty is the ONLY downside to potty-training i’ve encountered so far. Everything else is pretty fabulous. That, and the potent smell of baby shit wafting through the air downstairs. Two words: It lingers.

Posted on December 6, 2008 by Holdin' Holden 0 Comment

Shopping! Again, I know.

I can’t get enough. The internet just lures me in to shopping, it’s inevitable.

There are far too many websites online that I love to browse but would never actually buy anything from- but I know SO many people who would, so I share.

If you’re looking for Police gear, 5.11 Tactical Knives , vests, clothing, backpacks, hats… is the place to go. I don’t know what your husbands likes- but if they’re super macho dudes, this might be the perfect site to do their Christmas shopping on.

Oh, I see cute jackets! And intense boots.

Never know what you might find- wouldn’t hurt to check it out!

Posted on December 6, 2008 by Holdin' Holden 0 Comment