When you’re young and happen to get knocked up, hundreds of people will tell you that “your body will snap right back!”
Yeah, don’t believe the hype.
It might be true for 17 year olds with ridiculously high metabolisms… but when you’re 24.. the truth is that.. well.. it ain’t.
Let me clarify, the WEIGHT itself was not so hard to get rid of. I lost 20 lbs in the first week, 10 in another month, and 10 over the months following just from eating healthy alone (I gained around 45 altogether). The hips and pooch.. not so easy.
I was already pretty hippy for being a small girl (5’9″, 120 before getting preggo), I didn’t need the BIRTHING HIPS, seriously.. take them back.
The part the bothers me the most is the pooch. The area on your lower stomach that just kinda.. hangs out. Says hello to you in the mornings.. swells up when you eat anything salty and gives you the ‘food baby’ as I lovingly refer to it.
The mommy pooch can go straight to hell.
Stretchmarks I can deal with.. though I didn’t get many- I could chalk up the ones I have to being battle-scars (although I might change my mind if I were covered in them and looked like a freaking zebra).
This pooch business is a pain in my ass…. well, not literally- but you get the point.
Anyways, the line about ‘snapping back’ is B.S., because your stomach does NOT go right back to being flat if you had a flat stomach to begin with. it takes work.
I’ve been dieting for.. well.. Holden’s entire life. Working out? not my favorite thing to do but I realized it would be necessary if I didn’t want to permanently look bloated. Necessary evil I suppose. I feel good FOR working out, knowing I did something to benefit my health and figure.. but I never get satisfaction from the FEELING of working out. I feel sweaty and gross.. and i’m a fan of instant gratification and working out doesn’t give that to me (DAMNIT!)
Pardon the jumping around, i’ve been drinking (don’t make that face, only on the weekends after Holden has gone to sleep, and DAMN, after the past 2 days I needed a stiff drink.. or 3)
So.. has my work paid off? I’m not really sure. 17 weeks of working out 5 days a week, mainly concentrating on the tummy area and i’d hoped i’d see a bigger difference- but I suppose I have to consider the fact that I didn’t have much to lose in the first place.. and toning is much harder than just burning excess amounts of fat.
Let me show you what i’m working with here:
16 weeks of working out
there’s a definite difference. I’ve lost almost 3 inches in my natural waist alone, and to most of you, you’re thinking “WTF, you look tiny, STFU”… but somehow, as small as I am.. i’m still 2 sizes larger than my pre-pregnancy size. I don’t know how it’s possible, but it is. Hell, I even weigh well over 5 lbs less than I did post-pregnancy. It’s baffling, really.. and very frustrating.
So in conclusion, the whole ‘snapping back’ thing… it’s kinda true, but with a LOT (and I mean a WHOLE lot) of exceptions.
Today was another day where I questioned how good of a mother I actually am.
I do not claim to have the patience of a saint.. hell, my patience has been ridiculously thin for a LONG time now.
Having a child who screams all day long, whether playing or eating… is wearing it even thinner.
I don’t know what’s wrong with Holden, but I know it needs to stop. NOW.
I feel bad for him because it’s so obvious that he’s completely miserable, he doesn’t have the spark in his eye that he normally does.. he isn’t laughing or smiling nearly as much..
and I feel bad for my head because it’s pounding from him screaming in my ear all day long.
Today was another day where I felt VERY close to snapping. I just wanted to get up, and walk out the door and clear my head- but I know I can’t do that because Holden deserves better.. and I know he isn’t screaming just to be a brat- but because he’s feeling like total crap.
Still, in the heat of the moment, I find myself white-knuckling.
I try to stay calm, but i’m not perfect. I’m human.. and what human wouldn’t get irritated with someone screaming and yelling for hours on end?
Consider me one of the lucky ones. Holden managed to go over a year without getting sick (although, the intense reflux he experienced I think gave me a pass for most sicknesses for the first year).. that is, until now.
For the past week (maybe less) his nose has been SUPER runny. I attributed that to teething.. as he is cutting 6 teeth, but I was very very wrong.
Fast forward to 6am this morning, and he woke up screaming bloody murder. Thomas brings him into our bed and his skin is literally burning up. You can’t even touch him without sweating.
We take his temperature: 102
Of course, at that moment, I crapped my pants. I noticed his heart was racing as well, cue a little bit of pee as well.
We gave him motrin and it seemed to bring the fever down.. he played pretty happily most of the day but wasn’t wetting diapers as much as he should have been.
If you have a kid, you know you can’t FORCE water down their throat.
Holden isn’t a super cuddly baby.. but for the last hour of his playtime before his 5pm nap all he wanted to do was sit in my lap and watch TV with me… and make me sweat because his skin was burning up again. If I put him down, he screamed until I picked him up again.
When Thomas got home at 6, we took Holden’s temp. again, 101.4
Awesome, so it’s not really getting any better.
Right before bed, still almost 102.
The shitty thing about babies running a fever is that there isn’t a whole lot you can do for them. Most pediatricians will tell you not to give the kid medicine. WHAT?! so you want THEM to suffer, AND the parents to suffer? Sorry doc, we all need sleep in this house.
I’m just hoping this fever is the end of the sickness. I hate seeing my baby suffer.. and on the selfish side- I hate the whining.
Out of all of my friends, I was the first to pop out a baby. I’m a little older.. but in this area age means nothing when it comes to bearing a child. I’m already getting off topic.. ANYWAYS
More and more, people are getting knocked up and popping out little ones all over the place (most I do not approve of, but whatever).
As this happens, I hear one line more and more:
“You are the only one who doesn’t sugar coat motherhood”
I suppose all these other girls are running around saying how fabulous and fantastic and picture perfect motherhood is. That they have ZERO complaints, couldn’t be happier- life is all rainbows and butterflies.
Uh-huh.. and I poop rainbow sherbet.
When I talk about motherhood, I leave nothing out. I don’t try and pretend that EVERY day is fantastic because let’s face it- it’s not.
yes, children are beautiful fantastic blessings.. but that doesn’t mean they aren’t frustrating balls of brattiness some days (if not most days). Anyone who tells you that their child isn’t frustrating and/or irritating is a huge liar.
Maybe it would make them feel guilty for saying their kid is annoying? Who knows. I don’t feel bad for one second for telling people that Holden can be the biggest turd on the face of the earth.
Why? because it’s the truth. He’s a one year old, it’s his JOB to be evil and bratty and whiny.
Now I don’t wonder why people go into parenthood thinking it’s going to be a piece of cake- because everyone they’ve spoken to about it sugar-coated it sooo thick that they think it’s going to be the easiest thing EVER.
HAH, good luck with that notion.
I’m sure some people probably think i’m a terrible mother for speaking so openly about my child.. and to them I say: KISS MY ASS!
I could care less about what people think of my parenting skills. My kid is going to be intelligent, well adjusted and won’t put up with any B.S.
There is nothing wrong with being honest. Look at all the teen mothers- some of them could have USED some honesty, don’t you think??
Before I got pregnant, I literally had no idea about anything having to do with children.
I knew babies got teeth… I didn’t know that it was such a pain in the… er… mouth.
From what I keep hearing, it’s like getting a root-canal without general anesthesia. FUN!!!
Holden got his first two teeth before he was even 5 months old.
As of now, he’s working on teeth #s 9-14. You can imagine how SUPER EXCITED I am about that.
The worst part is, they always look like they’re about to cut but just won’t finish the job.
It’s causing incredibly restless nights for all 3 of us, no matter what we use (and we’re using a lot.. orajel, motrin, and cold medicine since it seems as though his nose is a leaky faucet this week).
None of the mommy remedies seem to work for us. Holden doesn’t appreciate ice being shoved in his mouth.. he hates the taste or orajel (but likes the feeling, of course! Who doesn’t love instant gratification?).. He’s of course chewing everything (including my shoulder. Not cool) but not getting any relief.
Back when he got his first few teeth and we thought THAT was the worst of it (boy were we wrong) our pediatrician had told us to ‘stay away from orajel.’ Did she want to see us suffer??
Instead, we followed a trail of advice to get this teething giraffe from France named ‘Sophie’
He chewed that thing from dawn til’ dusk.
Now, Sophie is sort of an after-thought. Holden likes to toss her around and occasionally beat me in the head with her, but she isn’t his go-to for teething relief.
I miss the days where Sophie saved my sanity.
For now, i’m brutally rebuffing the pediatrician and using orajel.
Orajel is my friend… so is Motrin… and Triamenic.
Every. single. time. pic.twitter.com/qxy23khtts
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The closest I've come to public nudity is when my kid opened the bathroom door on me at Starbucks.