Why do I still get my kids dressed in the morning? Because they can’t be trusted to put together anything even resembling a coordinated outfit. Is it that important for them to be coordinated? Probably not, but I must do it. I can’t let them leave the house looking like it’s laundry day every day and there’s nothing left that matches that’s clean.
I mean, it IS laundry day every day, but I don’t need other people knowing that.
Do I physically help them put their clothes on? BE SERIOUS. Of course I don’t. They’re semi-capable of putting on pants without falling over. I am nearby when they get dressed in case they start freaking out about things being impossible to get right-side-out. I don’t have time in the morning to argue that they are more than able to reach into a pair of pants and pull inside out leg out. This means I get to see if clothes are buttoned wrong- something I’d obviously fix, or shirts on backwards- something I’d obviously call out.
Something called to me Thursday morning. It was out of place but not so out of place that people might notice. Without even thinking, I reached over and tucked Holden’s front pocket back into his pants because it was poking out, and… I don’t know…. why not.
Afterward, I paused for a moment and thought to myself- is that weird? Is what I just did weird? I’d never reach out and do that to someone else, or even tap them on the shoulder and say “excuse me, but your pocket is sticking out” like I would if they had toilet paper hanging out from the top of their pants, or underwear stuck to the back of their shirt by the embarrassing miracle of static cling. But I do these things for my kids because they’re my kids, and the boundaries are pretty fucking fuzzy. Possibly even nonexistent judging by the fact that they walk into the bathroom and take massive shits while I’m in the shower and that comes from a level of comfort not experienced by any other humans on earth outside of family.
Try to remember to check your parental instincts at the door when necessary. And maybe stop checking on your kids so much. Am I talking to myself here? Yeah…. probably.
@DianeAuten There is no other way
@DianeAuten I'm so glad you're enjoying it!
Minecraft Stole my Children goo.gl/fb/VG9w3M
I don't know what I want for dinner, but I can guarantee it's not any of the 14 things my husband will suggest.
@ThisIsAstartes Best worst little shits on the planet.
What's that smell? A lot of pants on fire. pic.twitter.com/bVK0FnJgeB
I'm officially done parenting. Here's how I did it: holdinholden.com/2018/01/im-o…
I’m Officially Finished Parenting. Here’s how I did it goo.gl/fb/TBJQPJ
Some people meal prep to be healthy throughout the week. Some people meal prep because they want to be lazy for the rest of the week. I meal prep to prove to my kids that humans CAN eat the same thing day after day without dying.