I wasn’t blessed with girlfriends who had kids the same time as me. I never had a group of friends who would hold playdates together and gossip while the kids did whatever the hell it is they do at whatever the hell age it is that they are. I’ve never been to a mom’s night out. I don’t honestly even have mom friends. It’s not that I don’t have friends with kids, I do. I just don’t have a group. A “Squad” as the kids call it these days.
I’m like the black sheep of moms. Or at least, I feel like I am most days.
This isn’t me lamenting over it. I’m not sad. I’m not really even lonely. Sure, I’d love to hang out with humans other than my family some time… but only if the kids aren’t involved.
I’m totally serious.
I see pictures of these awesome themed gatherings. Moms posting smiling pictures hanging out with the kids in the background. Hear of weekly get togethers, cookouts, picnics, but I have no desire to participate.
I’m just. not. interested. in. playdates.
For days I’ve tried to figure out how to explain why. I don’t particularly dislike other people’s kids. I don’t particularly dislike other moms.
Okay, that’s a lie. I do, and I do. Maybe I’ve just been searching for a better way to explain it without sounding like a horrid bitch, but I came up with nothing.
The fact is just this and there’s no softening it: I don’t want to hang out with other moms and their kids. I will, if I have to. I won’t even hate it. I’ll be personable, and nice, and I might even have fun, for the sake of the kids- but if it’s my choice, I’m not playdating.
It’s not that I think I’m too good for it. I don’t think that I’m too “cool” or that other moms aren’t “cool” enough (trust me, I know a hell of a lot of moms far cooler than me). I’m not too judgy for it, or any other reason I can think of that might make “sense.” For me, playdates are like dentist appointments. If I HAVE to, if it’s absolutely necessary, I’ll grin and bear it. Otherwise, even though I know it might be good for me, it’s not happening. Because I simply don’t want to.
Some might argue if I had better/different/more mom friends, I might change my mind, and I can’t deny that you might be right, but I doubt it.
So just remember- if you ever ask me on a playdate, and I’m all
It’s not you, it’s me.
Frying pans. Who knew, right? pic.twitter.com/usSQcFGpmI
Just did this yesterday and it was everything 9 year old me could have dreamed of pic.twitter.com/imYQlUmSVn
LIVE on Twitch tonight -- come say hi! twitch.tv/holdinholden
As I embark on an 11 day trip with my kids, this is especially fitting. VACATIONS WITH KIDS ARE MANUAL LABOR! holdinholden.com/2016/03/vaca…
Are you, though?? 😂😂 pic.twitter.com/Rm5L9PBuiL
When I file for divorce and people ask why I'm gonna say "I told him I felt bloated & wanted donuts and he replied 'that's not gonna help'"
Me usually: Lunch time, kids! So much to choose from! Me before a trip: You're gettin' a bread sandwich because I'm not going shopping again
How to Convince Your Fam to Watch ANYTHING you want on Netflix! goo.gl/fb/H6iZrR
We're just... uh.... wrestling.... 😂😂😂 pic.twitter.com/dpAIyM88c8