Valentine’s Day Plans for Old Marrieds


Do I believe any of those things? I don’t know. What I do know is that Valentine’s Day isn’t a romantic holiday for me. It hasn’t been for a long time. And no, I don’t type that bitterly.

Valentine’s Day has never been a huge deal to me, but I used to like to be taken out, fed a nice meal, maybe given a little gift. I never got wound up in the hype, but it always did feel weird to be single on what most people consider to be a “romantic holiday”. I guess all those commercials and ads and candy hearts got to me. Or, y’know, just wanting to feel special. Either/or.

Even getting married, snagging the man, making it official, didn’t do much to dull my wants to be treated like a princess…. or something. Again, I don’t know, a day to celebrate love, even if it’s made up, make-believe, intended to scam people out of money, is still kind of nice. Why the hell not, right?

After having kids, though, my desire to be taken out on the town faded into oblivion. I don’t want to blame the kids, I feel no ill will. Really, I feel nothing at all. My desire to be taken out on the town has been outweighed by the feeling that I don’t need to be.
Before anyone gets all up in arms, I’m not coming down on anyone who feels as though, or believes that, they should be spoiled on Valentine’s Day. There’s nothing wrong with that. Nope. It’s your life, your relationship, and your feelings- and all of those things are valid. You do you.

For me, though, it’s no longer part of the plan. Not that I’d turn down a gift, or a nice dinner- but the sky will not fall if it doesn’t happen. I will not be mad if it’s not planned for me. Hell, I’d rather it NOT be. I’ve been married 10 years this month. Is the honeymoon over? Duh. Is the romance DEAD? I don’t know if I’d go that far– it has just changed over the years. Morphed into something that no longer resembles hearts filled with chocolates and bouquets of flowers.

This morning I woke up with a nasty pain in my back, my kid was home sick from school, and going out sounded like the LAST thing I want to do tonight. We might get a fancy meal… and by fancy, I mean takeout tacos. And only because holidays give us excuses not to cook and why NOT take advantage. We might see a movie… sitting on the couch with the kids, scolding them to stop dropping popcorn between the couch cushions. We might do something romantic after the kids are in bed, and by romantic, I mean clear off the DVR and play videogames. But celebrate? Eh….It’s not being wined and dined, or being lavished with gifts and flowers, but it’s life. The life we created together. It ain’t pretty, but it’s ours, and that’s kind of grossly romantic in itself, isn’t it?

Posted on February 14, 2017 by Holdin' Holden 2 Comments
Holdin' Holden

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  • I think you’re entirely practical! Being “old” and married is pretty cool because we’re comfortable with each other and don’t need to be forced into some romantic date on a holiday just because … it’s a holiday. Otherwise it’s just date night, which can be any day of the year! And the older we get, the more we appreciate just being in each other’s company and doing what we want to do – videogames, puzzles, movies, hiking, picking our noses, whatever. Loved this post!

  • Lol! Truth same here only been married 4.5 years. I could careless about the holiday I don’t hate it but don’t love it either. Although my kids think it’s a holiday to eat an ungodly amount of candy so I call it the candy holiday. Why not right? Love reading your blog need to read more of it!