I thought I had more time. More time to prepare. More time to think it over. At least 5 more years should have been allowed before this happened. My world is spinning. My mind is reeling. How could this be my life now? How could I have been so blind to how it all played out? I wasn’t ready! Maybe I wasn’t ever going to be, but I never had the chance to really come to terms with it before it happened. WHY? WHY ME?? WHY NOW? HOW DID IT COME TO THIS??
I opened the door and all I found was emptiness. Cold, dark, emptiness.
Because my kids ATE ALL THE FOOD.
They’re not teenagers. They aren’t going through puberty. They don’t need the extra fuel you do when you’re growing like a mofo and sprouting hair in weird places. They are 9 and 7. I understand a love of snacks. I LOVE SNACKS. Snacks are amazing! But we go shopping multiple times per week. We spend a stupid amount of money on food. We are constantly stocked to the brim with fruits, veggies, crackers, other random crap we picked up along the way. Yet, still, every other day I hear the pantry door creak open, shortly followed by a whiny voice yelling through the house “THERE’S NOTHING TO EAT!”
HOW DO SUCH LITTLE HUMANS EAT SO MUCH FOOD? WHERE DO THEY PUT IT? Do I have extra family members I don’t know about? Are the sock elves really food elves? Have house mice become intelligent super-beings and learned to steal food from my pantry? DID THE DOGS DO IT? HOW DID THEY MANAGE WITHOUT OPPOSABLE THUMBS? HOW?!
All these years I spent thinking I should be putting money into a college fund when the REAL money should go into a snack fund, because if this is how rabid they are as children, once they’re teens I’m totally boned.
Heed my warning: Start saving now!
@DianeAuten There is no other way
@DianeAuten I'm so glad you're enjoying it!
Minecraft Stole my Children goo.gl/fb/VG9w3M
I don't know what I want for dinner, but I can guarantee it's not any of the 14 things my husband will suggest.
@ThisIsAstartes Best worst little shits on the planet.
What's that smell? A lot of pants on fire. pic.twitter.com/bVK0FnJgeB
I'm officially done parenting. Here's how I did it: holdinholden.com/2018/01/im-o…
I’m Officially Finished Parenting. Here’s how I did it goo.gl/fb/TBJQPJ
Some people meal prep to be healthy throughout the week. Some people meal prep because they want to be lazy for the rest of the week. I meal prep to prove to my kids that humans CAN eat the same thing day after day without dying.