As I published the photos online of me as Rapunzel at Disney World, confused comments flooded in. “I thought adults weren’t allowed to dress up in the parks? What’s your secret?”
They’re right- it’s not allowed, but it’s no secret how I got to traipse around as a grown adult in a Disney Princess costume. There are magical nights called Mickey’s Not So Scary Halloween Party where any and everyone can be whatever they want, including a princess– even me!
As someone with 5 Disney Princess costumes in my closet (don’t judge!), there was absolutely no way I was going to pass up this opportunity. In all of my planning, dreaming, and preparation, I didn’t even come close to preparing myself for the magic and weirdness that went down once I sucked in the pooch, laced up the bodice, and pinned that heavy ass wig on so tight it gave me an instant face-lift.
From the moment I stepped out of the room, there was a different energy- and I don’t just mean in the “Hey I’m wearing a princess costume at Disney World!” kind of way- but in the “Hey Rapunzel!” I heard coming from an upper level because a little girl legitimately thought I was Rapunzel kind of way. This was going to be an experience, I knew that much, and that was only the beginning. I want to share with you some of the strangest things that happened during the following hours
–While waiting for a Disney transportation bus to pick us up from the resort and take us to the Magic Kingdom, I see a little girl in a Dorothy costume eyeballing me. It was like one of those dates when you’re a teenager and the boy sneezes so he can “accidentally” put his arm around your shoulder. She slowly inched toward me and once she was close enough, without making eye contact–as though I couldn’t see her–sat down next to me. I’m still not sure whether or not she thought I was Rapunzel, although I told her over and over again I wasn’t, and had both my kids with me. All while bees tried to attack my hair because apparently they thought the flowers in my braid were real.
–On the bus, the little girl who called to me from the balcony spotted me again.
Her: Are you the real Rapunzel?
Me: Do I look like the real Rapunzel?
–When you are in full Disney Princess attire at Walt Disney World, it’s an out of body experience. Not only do you not feel like yourself, but you are basically no longer yourself. You ARE the princess, and absolutely every employee refers to you by your princess name. There’s nothing quite like being referred to as “Your majesty” and “princess” for 6 hours. If it weren’t for the aching in my skull from the eleven thousand pounds of fake hair, I may have had an identity crisis.
–Whispering comes from behind me-
“I can’t tell if that’s the real Rapunzel or someone in costume…”
This happened about 29 times.
–So, of COURSE, one of the things I HAD to do while dressed as Rapunzel was to meet Rapunzel, full-well knowing I’d look like the Dollar Store Rapunzel next to her (because let’s be real, no one can afford Disney level costumes and I can’t even sew a button on a shirt). Of course, being fully in character, she never let on that I looked like a poor man’s Rapunzel, and instead, wondered how I looked identical to her, if I made my own dress (HAHAHAHAHA NO), and we talked about Pascal’s disappearing act (no, seriously, I had a prop Pascal and he disappeared in our room.)
Tiana wanted a picture as well-
I made sure to yell “I’M TAKING THE NIGHT OFF” as I exited the building.
–On my way out of the princess party, the rain had started coming down again, so we waited right outside Princess Fairytale Hall for a break, when a nervous mother and little girl approached me.
“I don’t even know if this is allowed, or if you’re allowed, but can she take a photo with you?”
I scratched my wig. Wait, why wouldn’t it be allowed? And then it hits me. Ohhhh, she thinks I’m her.
“NO NO NO. I don’t work here! I’m just in costume for the party tonight!”
She still wanted a photo.
–The amount of staring and pointing made me repeatedly question whether or not my skirt was tucked into my underwear.
–I’ve never waved to so many small children in my life. I don’t even like children that much! But I HAD to. With a smile. I’m telling you- identity crisis.
–It turns out, adjusting your wig in public is like adjusting your junk. People look absolutely horrified. I guess it ruins a little bit of the allure.
What I didn’t expect is that a Disney Photopass photographer would be there waiting to take photos of anyone who asked, and being that I WAS Rapunzel- it would be crazy not to take full advantage. Rapunzel’s area is full of lanterns and chalk drawings and basically all the amazing scenery from the movie- so it’s picture perfection.
Much to my family’s chagrin, this process took a while (and a few lens changes)
My family sat down during all of this, leaving me alone with a photographer, which, I guess, in the darkness, to outsiders, looked like a legit Disney photoshoot, because wouldn’t you know it, a line started forming to get photos WITH me. Lemme tell you the confusion as I’m insisting that I’m NOT Rapunzel and these poor people are wondering why I’m telling them if they want photos they have to wait until I’m done and they’re all “but he’s photopass, why can’t he just do it now?” and I’m like “because he’s taking photos with me…” and they’re like “Yeah, but… he’s photopass.”
It was a confusing, hilarious, very flattering albeit frustrating mess.
But I somehow managed to talk my husband into taking photos, too. Since the turd waited until the last second to tell me he wasn’t really interested in getting himself a costume, I scrounged through his closet at the last second and forced him to Disney Bound (which is like a casual costume that resembles the character) as none other than Flynn Rider himself.
I think his smolder nearly broke after hearing “Oh how nice– you’re carrying her purse!”
IT’S A SATCHEL AND HE IS FLYNN RIDER!
Look, I tried.
–Sing-alongs. There were so many. I can’t help it if way down deep inside I’ve got a dream!
–I’m positive that if Rapunzel were a real person, her neck would have to be the width of Texas, because even with my Dollar Store braid, I ended up wrapping it around my neck like a boa because it was SO FRICKIN’ HEAVY! Much respect to all the ladies of Disney for their neck strength, patience, and commitment. It was a blast for a night, but I’m not sure I could do it every day!
Oh, who the hell am I kidding? I’d totally do it every day!
@anninabyrne He mentioned something about penis trampolines. I don't even know.
My 10 yo didn't know that Dick is short for Richard so he's spent the past 10 yrs thinking Dick's Sporting Goods is a store for penis sports
8yo told me that Oct 31st is "national knock-knock joke day"- which means Halloween will henceforth be known as "The Most Annoying Day Ever"
@SassyPsychDoc "It seemed like a good idea at the time"
@SassyPsychDoc I fact-checked him myself. Someone was seriously sleeping on the job that day
Thought my 8yo was lying when he said that a male woodchuck is a he-chuck & a female is a she-chuck.Nope. If I have to know that, so do you!
Sometimes advice from our kids is EXACTLY what we need to hear. Been a rough few months & what my 8yo said hit home holdinholden.com/2017/10/winn…
10yo: What is calculus? Me: It's you + me = us Husband: get out. #oldpeoplejokes
Bravery AND confidence pic.twitter.com/voqjVXWgZx