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Parenthood Fantasy vs. Parenthood Reality

realityfantasyblog

Parenthood is not at all what I thought it’d be. And I don’t mean in that “I didn’t know how tired I’d be, but how full my heart would be” way. EW. STOP. NO.

What I mean is that we all walk through the birth canal of parenthood and get absolutely blindsided with bitch-slaps of reality. We have these big, huge, Hallmark-esque fantasies of every single aspect of raising children, and do ANY of them match up? I mean…. Yeah, no. Not at all. I tried to come up with things I nailed pre-kids, but I didn’t nail a single thing. I was so far offbase it’s kind of laughable. Well, really, all I can do is laugh at this point or I’ll cry. HOLD ME!

In this blog, I put together a collection of photos showing how we all thought it’d be, and how it REALLY is. I didn’t create all the photos, but damn if I don’t feel them on a deep enough level to where I swear some creeper is watching my fam through the blinds of my house.

SATURDAY MORNINGS:

FANTASY:

A group of young British children watching television in October 1988. (Photo by Express/Getty Images)

Quiet mornings with the kids huddled around the TV taking in some quality cartoons, while I relax on the couch with a steaming cup of coffee. All is right with the world!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

REALITY:
heresjohnny

 

 

 

 

6am- busting through my damn door like Jack Nicholson in The Shining, because fuck sleep! Who needs it? Certainly not parents, according to my kids.

 

SIBLINGS

FANTASY:
Have 2, they said. They’ll keep each other company, they said!
along

 

 

 

 

 

REALITY:
wwe

 

 

 

 

 

PLAYROOMS:

Totally thought having a dedicated room for all the toys would improve the neatness and organization of my house. Totally was a moron.

FANTASY:
playroom

 

 

 

 

 

REALITY:
ww11

 

 

 

 

 

It’s hopeless. I surrender.

 

FAMILY ROAD TRIPS:

FANTASY:
This is gonna be so fun!
car trip

 

 

 

 

 

 

REALITY:

Annoying and Annoying-er
annoying

 

 

 

 

 

BATH TIME:

Fantasy:
No one can say the word “Bubbles” angrily!
bathtime

 

 

 

 

 

 

REALITY:
wellshit

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

It’s best to just accept that you’re not making it out of this dry.

 

FAMILY DINNERS:
FANTASY:
Now, let’s all hold hands and sing Kumbaya!

Family eating dinner

 

 

 

 

 

REALITY:
spag

 

 

 

 

 

RED SAUCE IS THE DEVIL!

 

Wait…. why did we have kids again?!

Posted on August 8, 2016 by Holdin' Holden 1 Comment
Holdin' Holden

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