The one thing I don’t like about having pets is the fact that I can’t just drop everything and leave town. I have to make all kinds of special arrangements to make sure my animals are well taken care of. Well… that and when they steal tampons out of the trash and leave them all over the house.
I know- a small price to pay for the ceaseless love and affection furry friends offer- but it’s annoying. Especially when all the plans you put in place to make sure your pets are well taken care of fall through. At the last second. Which is exactly what happened. Which means I’m reaching out to all kinds of friends and family asking them to fill in- which means they will see my house, and not just the parts of the house I have presentable when company comes over, but the WHOLE house. All of it. Not just medicine cabinets that some people are obsessed with going through. Every last inch.
I’ve never been what one might consider “organized”- but there’s nothing quite like having children systematically undoing ALL of your cleaning and tidying directly behind you every single day of your damn life. My house is a wreck. It doesn’t matter what I do. It doesn’t matter how many hours I spend scrubbing, or how many dollars I bribe them with to clean the toilet THEY peed all over for the 47th time this week. It’s a hot ass mess, and while I’m not EMBARRASSED by it, I feel like I should leave a disclaimer to the ones who step into my house and call it theirs for a few days while I’m not there to shove shit into a closet while they aren’t looking.
My disclaimer would say the following-
It’s a wonder I ever get anyone to agree. What would be on YOUR house-sitting disclaimer?
@Julieannefiu I still sing WRAPPED UP LIKE A DOUCHE. I think they're lying about the "real" lyrics
I sang SO many embarrassingly wrong song lyrics with such confidence. pic.twitter.com/Ww5TaAxY3r
@AndreaPerez0217 Not that I'm biased, but I highly recommend ;) Hope you enjoy!
Parenthood: you think it's gonna be all hugs & booboo kisses, but it's really cooking food everyone hates & scraping boogers off of walls.
School system: Here! Have a half day on Friday the 13th! Me: pic.twitter.com/Dy18C8R3dD
Spooking the Kids Without Scarring them for LIFE With Netflix! (and a giveaway!) goo.gl/fb/tkeWgB