Less than one week from today, KIDS ARE TURDS will be sitting on bookshelves, just waiting for unsuspecting victims to pick it up, crack it open, and read things like “CROTCHFRUIT”, “ALCHEMY OF THE ANUS”, and “A mom wouldn’t know silence if it crapped in its hands and clapped in her face.”
Ohhhh, I can just imagine the pearl-clutching butt-hurting rage that may happen! Even more, I imagine people laughing their asses off.
And I, for one, cannot wait! ONE more week- just 6 days, and my book will be out to wreak havoc upon the world!
You can pre-order a paperback on Amazon right now for just $10 (they also offer a Kindle version) and you will get it (just paperback) BEFORE the official release date of Tuesday April 5th!
You can also read an entire chapter right here (you know you wanna).
Make sure you give your local bookstore a ring if you don’t want to order a copy online to make sure they’ll have copies in stock on D-Day. They’ll be more than happy to line their shelves (if they aren’t already) if ya ask!
I’m so excited for you all to get your hands on a copy of KIDS ARE TURDS, and I hope you love it!
Frying pans. Who knew, right? pic.twitter.com/usSQcFGpmI
Just did this yesterday and it was everything 9 year old me could have dreamed of pic.twitter.com/imYQlUmSVn
LIVE on Twitch tonight -- come say hi! twitch.tv/holdinholden
As I embark on an 11 day trip with my kids, this is especially fitting. VACATIONS WITH KIDS ARE MANUAL LABOR! holdinholden.com/2016/03/vaca…
Are you, though?? 😂😂 pic.twitter.com/Rm5L9PBuiL
When I file for divorce and people ask why I'm gonna say "I told him I felt bloated & wanted donuts and he replied 'that's not gonna help'"
Me usually: Lunch time, kids! So much to choose from! Me before a trip: You're gettin' a bread sandwich because I'm not going shopping again
How to Convince Your Fam to Watch ANYTHING you want on Netflix! goo.gl/fb/H6iZrR
We're just... uh.... wrestling.... 😂😂😂 pic.twitter.com/dpAIyM88c8