Last week, a violent illness ripped through my household, rendering the small males completely useless. Except their mouths. Of course it couldn’t disable their mouths, too. It was a strain of Man-Cold unlike anything I’d ever had the misfortune to witness before.
When it took out my 8 year old, he spent an entire day on the couch sleeping. Except when he wasn’t, and when he wasn’t he was complaining. And having me make him toast. And cover him with blankets. And get him any and ever thing he might need. When he felt a little better, he got to stay home in his pajamas and do whatever the hell he wanted all day while I still cared for him, making him toast, water, snacks even when he didn’t ask, and getting him any and every thing he might need.
When it took down my 6 year old, he spent an entire day refusing to sleep and complaining instead. The man-cold was strong in that one. He wanted toast, but didn’t want toast. He wanted jelly but didn’t want jelly. He wanted medicine but didn’t want medicine. He was tired but couldn’t sleep. His head hurt. His throat hurt. His horrible taste in TV hurt me. But still- I endured it. I got him the toast with and without the jelly. I made him special soup and covered him with blankets. He didn’t even have to ask- I got him any and every thing he might need.
The man cold has now taken down its third victim: Me. That’s right- I HAVE A MAN COLD! My head hurts, my body aches, I’m tired, I’m cranky, my throat is sore. I just want to lay on the couch in my pajamas and sleep while someone covers me with blankets and makes me toast and brings me things without me having to ask. And I DO have someone like that… Me.
Why don’t we moms get to man cold properly?
I didn’t get to lounge around wearing pajamas because I have kids to usher around like a proper chauffeur. No one was home to make me toast or cover me with blankets or bring me things. I made myself soup. Condensed. Because that’s the only crap we had and as the sick one, the only thing I has to energy to make for myself. I couldn’t just sleep all day because of things I hate to refer to as “responsibilities” and there’s no one here during the day to pick up the slack for me.
No. You see, I have come to a realization. Although we may WANT to man-cold, although we may DESERVE to man-cold with the worst of them, we simply cannot. Why? Well, because we’re women, and we don’t get man-colds. We get WOMAN-Colds. Which is like a man-cold, except we GET SHIT DONE OURSELVES. Power through. Because that’s just what we do.
….but I still want to lie down, complain, and man-cold like a mofo. A woman can dream.
You know that feeling when you don't chew a chip all the way and it cuts you all the way down and you swear it's gonna kill you, but you go ahead have another right after? That's what it's like when you decide to have another kid.
For any parent who's ever had a kid who thinks they're more grown up than they are... and proves themselves wrong-- this story is for you holdinholden.com/2017/12/10-g…
@The_Mrs_Ward It's definitely a step out of the comfort zone but once you dip a toe in, it's hard to go back!
Out with the old, in with the pink! pic.twitter.com/plm0ogzPLf
10 Going on 20: The Spicy Chicken Story goo.gl/fb/qqm3FZ
'Tis the season to return a gift given to you and have the uncontrollable urge to buy more crap for your kids with the money.
😂😂😂 I never knew we had so much in common pic.twitter.com/Yu4ytvgmOp