I Don’t Need You to “Empower” Me

Maybe I’m just writing this because I’m in a bitchy mood. Maybe I’ll regret writing this blog tomorrow–I mean, I doubt it, but stranger things have happened. Sometimes, as a writer, you just have to go with what you’re feeling, and so I’m going with this because it’s bugging the shit out of me.

I’m not anti-women. I’m PRO woman. I AM a woman. I love women, respect women, and believe we should all be respected and treated equal. I’m full-on YAYA Sisterhood over here.

–BUT (you had to see that coming)–

I believe on this way to finally making the a-holes of the world see that we deserve to be treated the same as our male counterparts, we’ve created a monster of sorts. Some people have gone SO far to try to support women, that they have ended up alienating and criticizing women in the process. I didn’t even realize this until I started getting comments from people- at first here and there- but now it seems to be ALL. THE. TIME. And it needs to stop.

I’m a bona-fide makeup lover. I’ve worn it since before my parents ever allowed me to, and have zero plans to stop.

Somewhere down the line, this became unacceptable to a lot of people.wing

“You don’t need makeup!” they start in with, “No woman needs makeup!” they continue, and while you want to feel the empowerment– the “all women are beautiful naturally!” message should be pulsing through your bloodstream– it goes downhill. And fast. “Don’t let the makeup companies fool you!”

Wait… what? You think… I’m being manipulated?

Yes, ladies, falling into any womanly stereotype instantly makes you a dimwit. You’re going against your womanhood! You should be ashamed!

That thought, right there, is SO beyond anti-woman I can’t even handle it.

Wearing makeup isn’t anti-woman. Falling into female “stereotypes” isn’t anti-woman. The assumption that any woman who wears makeup is nothing more than a moron who is so susceptible to commercials that she’ll run out and buy beauty products just to appear more “womanly” is anti-woman. The assumption that we don’t have our own brains and don’t make up our own minds and instead let commercials and advertising do it for us is anti-woman.

I wear makeup. I feel zero shame when I say that. I don’t do it because commercials say I need it. I don’t do it to impress anyone else (though there would be nothing wrong with it if I DID wear it to impress my peers). I do it because I enjoy it. Because it’s fun. Because it makes me feel awesome. Because it’s a skill that I thoroughly enjoy mastering (winged eyeliner ain’t easy, folks).

I also have periods, and I complain about cramps. I crave chocolate. I like watching soaps. I have children. My emotions occasionally get the best of me and yes, I absolutely talk about and joke about ALL of these things.
I don’t do these things simply because I am a female. I do these things because I am ME, who just so happens to be a female, who is proud of every little part of me that makes up who I am as a person, even if it’s “stereotypical” according to some unknown law saying we can’t possibly act like people think women are.

So what if I’m a stereotypical woman? Isn’t being equal being able to be whoever the hell we want to be without others coming in and telling us it’s wrong? Why do we insist on constantly finding ways to tear each other down? I don’t need you to “empower” me by telling me I don’t need to wear makeup. No, I don’t NEED it. I WANT it. It’s my CHOICE. Empowerment is not telling me what I am or am not, what I can and can not do, wear, say, or feel. Empower each other to be different. Empower each other to be strong, to be THEMSELVES. Not to be what you think they should be.

Posted on November 6, 2015 by Holdin' Holden 5 Comments
Holdin' Holden

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  • Thank you! Thank you so much. I am so sick of everyone around me calling me weak for doing things that are considered womanly stereotypes. I’m a woman you idiots of course I’m going to do womanly things! So glad you put it in writing.

  • Great blog! Seems to me lately that whatever the issue someone has gotten passionate about they like to start to push that on other people. Maybe it helps validate somehow for them. I don’t like it either.

  • Oh my god I cant express how much I love this.The ones pushing feminism the most are making it the worst for us.I couldn’t care less who doesn’t or does like my make up or the clothes I wear it makes me happy

  • Yep, yep, yep… I had a friend scorn me because I shave my armpits… ffs I’m no less a feminist because I personally don’t like body hair!

  • Haha love it. Its like the complete opposite of my life. I’m not a feminist and know very few thank goodness, however everyday I’m bombarded by people telling me to wear more makeup, stop wearing my hair the same way, wear more dresses, wear more heels, etc. Its annoying so I can understand where you are coming from. I don’t wear a lot of makeup because no matter what base I put on, my skin freaks out. So I wear eye makeup and a bit of lip gloss from time to time. I also do not know how to apply makeup in fact, I’m very girly girl but I struggle with girly girl things, like putting on make up, doing my hair differently, wearing the right clothes and mix and matching them properly. And I’ve tried practising, I had 30 years to practise but still nope. So I’ve stuck to my look because it works for me. So being told I’m not a woman because I don’t do all those girly girl things also is a gripe. I just wish that humans would just leave each other alone when it came to our personal lives. “This is my corner, I do what I do for me, not you. So stick to your corner” But thus I’m labelled a feminist….no people. I’m me.