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Dear New Mom,

Dear New Mom,

Overworked. Exhausted. Ragged. Harried. Stressed. Run down. All of these words could probably describe you rightnewmom now, at this very moment.
There are many days where you feel like you are not much more than a helper. Solely on this planet to do the bidding of this tiny human who can’t even tell you what they want, and who never seems to want what you think they do. It’s funny, because you thought you’d feel more like a human once you gave birth, but it can often feel like the opposite.

I know, because I have been there. Twice.

You might feel like that at no point in the day is there any time to do anything for yourself, including but not limited to going to the bathroom, eating, brushing your hair, putting on makeup. Eating is important, of course we all know this, but when there is a tiny mouth that is screaming to be fed first, it becomes a fleeting thought. It no longer seems like an absolute necessity. Neither is showering.

There is so much to do, that the easiest thing is to make yourself as low maintenance as possible so it opens up the time you’d spend on yourself to be used on everything else except you.

I just have one word for you: Don’t.

I was having dinner surrounded by lovely acquaintances when I overheard the conversation of one, who just had a baby a few months ago. Someone had commented on her new short haircut and her response was “Well, I had a baby, so it had to go!” I cringed. So hard. I’ve been there, too.

Cut the hair off to make yourself easier to manage, saving yourself some time. Stop wearing makeup because that’s more time that can be used taking care of the baby. Just slip on sweats. Eat whatever’s left in the fridge, or the scraps from the kid’s plates. Just stop caring about what has made you feel good because you are no longer important.

YOU ARE.

Yes, babies are important. They are huge, life-changing creatures that forever alter your destiny, but what about you? You’re pretty awesome, too. And not just because you had a baby. (Even though that’s bad ass all by itself).
I’m not saying NEVER CUT YOUR HAIR, or YOU MUST WEAR MAKEUP! What I’m saying is don’t let go of YOU. Do what makes you happy. What makes you feel good about yourself. Don’t stop doing your hair because it’s the “mom” thing to do. Don’t stop reading because you can’t find the time. Take a break and exercise, or write, or paint, or sew. Take a moment for yourself here and there- JUST FOR YOU. You were someone before kids, and even though it might feel like you are “just mom” some days, I promise, you’re still a person after having kids, too.
Don’t give up on yourself and let your kids take over every aspect of your entire life, because one day–and it’s going to happen sooner than you’re ready for– your kid is going to stop and ask you about YOU, and you don’t want the only thing left about you to talk about with them BE them.

It’s my ONE piece of tried and true advice, new moms. Take time for you. You deserve it.

Posted on November 30, 2015 by Holdin' Holden 2 Comments
Holdin' Holden

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  • I wish I had someone to tell me this when my kids were younger. I’ve only started to realize this within the last two years. It’s so hard sometimes to remember you are still you, not just someone’s mom. I’m going to save this for a good friend of mine who just had her first baby this weekend. She’s gonna need it!

  • Amanda Newlen May 3, 2016 at 9:59 pm

    This is very true but one thing I might add is that it’s not just about having the time to do the things you used to love to do but having the energy to do them. I find myself so exhausted from just day to day things that I don’t actually feel like doing my hair or makeup and just throwing on some yoga pants because it’s too much work to put on a nice outfit because what comes with a nice outfit is making sure your hair and makeup are nice as well. Can’t wear a nice outfit with no makeup and hair a rat’s nest on top of your head at least with a t shirt and sweats the hair matches. I find that even now that my children are 13 and 10 years old and a little more independent I’m still exhausted from soccer, football, school, and just life in general to do anything more. Sometimes it’s about the strength rather than the time…