Loading

A Note to All the “Part Time” Moms

I thought having both kids home all summer, with their more-active ages and interests, that I would have all kinds of fun (read: obnoxious) things to blog about. Oh, the stories that would be created! An endless stream of material to keep my fingers happily typing until Back To School time rears its ugly head again.

That shit didn’t happen.

Instead, I have found that my brain just isn’t functioning the way it did before. Cognitive thought when you have two kids at home that do NOTHING BUT FIGHT all day every day is basically impossible. There are no funny stories, unless you count me describing in detail how I am going to sell them on Craigslist for $5, because any more and their asses would be brought back in 20 minutes asking for a refund, as blog-worthy.

No, what summer has done is make one thing abundantly clear: I like my kids better when I don’t spend ALL of my time with them.

Raise your hand if that statement made you cringe. I get it, it’s not the nicest thing to say. I chose to be a stay at home mom, and as obnoxious as I find the children to be, I enjoy it. I didn’t always intend to BE a stay at home mom, but sometimes, life just happens and you follow an unfamiliar path and you find yourself years later writing a blog about how obnoxious your kids are and here we are.

Some stay at home moms don’t want to be stay at home moms, but due to shit-ass pay and expensive-ass daycare, don’t have much of a choice. Some working moms don’t want to be working moms. Some stay at home moms LOVE the stay at home mom things, and some working moms love working. I’ve met all of these moms, and many of each. We all have our own struggles. The one that always affects me the most is when I see working moms refer to themselves as “part-time parents”. They feel bad about what they might be missing, time they can’t get back, firsts they didn’t see. I’m not kidding when I say that it hurts me that any mother or father would ever feel that way.

Maybe none of you need me to say this, maybe one of you does. Either way, I want to say it. And I’ll keep it short because time isn’t something any of us have in abundance.

As someone who spends all day with my kids by choice, kids that annoy the ever-loving shit out of me- I know that spending time AWAY from them, which is incredibly rare, makes their a-hole tendencies a hell of a lot less annoying, which means I spend less time scolding, feeling frustrated, and sitting in the corner eating my hair wondering why I had kids in the first place. I know the time missed while at work can’t be gotten back (much like my sanity and patience), but the time you do get is probably pretty damn amazing. And probably THAT much less annoying, too.  Maybe not all the time, because, well, kids are kids, but hey. I spend most of my days looking forward to putting my kids to bed. You probably spend yours looking forward to seeing your kids awake. I never get to let absence make my heart grow fonder. Y’all are likely more calm, and patient than me. At times, I worry that my kids ONLY see me as mean ol’ mommy because we spend so much time together that it’s hard not to be irritated with each other.

 

Whether we stay at home, or go to work, this thing we call parenthood isn’t easy. You’re not a part time parent just because you aren’t with your kid/s 24/7. There’s no such thing as a “full time” parent, either. We’re ALL “all the time” parents always, because even when we aren’t with our kids, we’re thinking about them, worrying about them, wondering about them, being annoyed by them, and loving them. There’s no break from that shit! You do ALL of that AND work outside the home. Most days, I can’t even manage to move the laundry from the washer to the dryer before mildew sets in. Okay, so I’m exaggerating a little, but I truly can’t imagine doing it all AND holding down a full-time job outside the home on top of it. The shit seems impossible, and you get it done. I admire you! Maybe it’s not much, but I just thought you all should know.

Posted on July 1, 2015 by Holdin' Holden 2 Comments
Holdin' Holden

About Holdin' Holden

  •  

Categories

2 Comments

  • Yep, pretty much how I’m feeling. Running mommy camp over here. Can’t write with them around. Too distracting, constant whining and bickering unless they’re engaged in an active schedule. When you’ve got 3, camp for all gets too pricey. I’m counting days until Sept. 9th.

  • Full-time working mom here… and I do not know where stay at home mom’s get their strength and patience from to be able to stay at home with their kids 24/7. I look forward to Mondays when I go back to work and the kids go back to daycare!