You don’t have to ask me for most things, because I already know. I know you. And you should know that the things I do for you, and tell you to do, might not always be fun, but there is always a good reason behind them!
I don’t put tomato on your sandwich because I know you don’t like it
I bring you your stuffed lemur because I know it’s your favorite
I tell you not to jump off the top of the picnic table because I don’t want you to get hurt
I kiss your booboos because I want you to feel better
I make you pick up after yourself because it’s important to learn not to be a slob. And also, I don’t want to die via Lego to the arch.
I don’t let you watch hours of TV because I don’t want you to rot your brain
I set your bed time because, contrary to childhood belief, sleep is good for you
I don’t buy you everything you want (but claim you “neeeeeeeed”) because I want you to learn to be grateful for what you have
I put you in time out, not to be mean, but because you need to learn that there are negative consequences for some of your actions
I make you wash your hands after going to the bathroom because ew
I tell you to do chores to reach you responsibility and the satisfaction of getting work done
I remind you to say please and thank you when you forget because manners are important. So is not being a douche.
I tell you I love you because I want you to know that even if I don’t like you very much, the love always remains
And I tell you that you’re being a raging asshole because I’m your frickin’ Mommy, and if someone doesn’t call you on your shit early enough, you’ll always be an asshole, and I don’t want you being the asshole who is living alone in my basement at 28 years old, eating microwave easy mac, playing with your junk, and smelling like shit. That’s not gonna happen on my watch.
Love, kisses, & time outs,
Weird Things you do for your kids but not Strangers goo.gl/fb/oVuwvG
Tis the season! pic.twitter.com/5VgMLnt22E
I am weak pic.twitter.com/LYdRQ6EZcC
You know that feeling when you don't chew a chip all the way and it cuts you all the way down and you swear it's gonna kill you, but you go ahead have another right after? That's what it's like when you decide to have another kid.
For any parent who's ever had a kid who thinks they're more grown up than they are... and proves themselves wrong-- this story is for you holdinholden.com/2017/12/10-g…