Kidless in NYC- Holdin’ Holden & Orange is the New Black!

Tomorrow marks a momentous occasion in my life. Yes, of course as a blogger- Netflix is sending me to NYC to oitnbattend OrangeCon, the first ever exclusive fan conference for Orange is the New Black, and that is BEYOND awesome, but this momentous-ness goes beyond even that. This is a huge step in my journey as a mother.

Tomorrow morning, I will step on an airplane and fly to New York, WITHOUT my kids or husband. Alone. All alone. I haven’t been alone in…. I mean, do you count being pregnant as alone? Technically you’ve got a tenant in your womb, but there’s no one actually THERE to keep you company. The last time I was really, truly alone was when I was pregnant with Holden- over 8 years ago. EIGHT YEARS of putting up with other people’s shit nonstop!
No breaks! No sick days! No paid vacation!

I wasn’t exactly being held hostage. I stayed in my safe little mom-shell because I wanted to. I never really felt ready to be away from my kids. Worried about what might go wrong, what might happen… pretty much every terrible thing you could imagine went through my head, and so I stayed. Do I regret it? Absolutely not. I regret none of the time I’ve spent with my kids, but I’d be lying if I said it wasn’t driving me out of my frickin’ mind. Seriously. SERIOUSLY. I’m bananas. Nuts. Crazy. Batshit. Before, I wasn’t ready, but panic has turned to desperation and I need to get OUT- and tomorrow I am!

Am I scared? I don’t think the worry us parents feel ever really fades, but, I’m READY. I’m ready and I’m excited to not just be a mom- I’ll get to be an ADULT again. A real adult. I’ll never be a child-free adult again (thank goodness. I don’t want to be)- but to get a chance to leave my “mom” at the door and do something for myself? I haven’t even done it yet, but I feel liberated.

Fellow moms- if you’re anything like me, too panic stricken to spend a night away, eventually it WILL get easier, and then you just need to take that leap and do it. For your kids, yourself, your sanity. Be an adult, and not JUST Mommy. Maybe I’ll change my mind on my second day away from them, alone in a loud, busy city, buuuuuuuut, I doubt it! I’m going to be too busy!

And this is where I have questions for you! I will be meeting with some of the wonderful actors from Netflix’s original (and amazing) series- Orange is the New Black, surrounded by 200 of their biggest fans (who may possibly be in costume). I’ll be live-blogging the whole damn thing! What do YOU want to see the most? What questions would you want to ask them, if you could ask them anything? Am I going to make a total ass of myself?  Let me know, and I’ll do my best to get the answers and share the pictures you want to see!

Posted on June 9, 2015 by Holdin' Holden 4 Comments
Holdin' Holden

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