Tomorrow marks a momentous occasion in my life. Yes, of course as a blogger- Netflix is sending me to NYC to attend OrangeCon, the first ever exclusive fan conference for Orange is the New Black, and that is BEYOND awesome, but this momentous-ness goes beyond even that. This is a huge step in my journey as a mother.
Tomorrow morning, I will step on an airplane and fly to New York, WITHOUT my kids or husband. Alone. All alone. I haven’t been alone in…. I mean, do you count being pregnant as alone? Technically you’ve got a tenant in your womb, but there’s no one actually THERE to keep you company. The last time I was really, truly alone was when I was pregnant with Holden- over 8 years ago. EIGHT YEARS of putting up with other people’s shit nonstop!
No breaks! No sick days! No paid vacation!
I wasn’t exactly being held hostage. I stayed in my safe little mom-shell because I wanted to. I never really felt ready to be away from my kids. Worried about what might go wrong, what might happen… pretty much every terrible thing you could imagine went through my head, and so I stayed. Do I regret it? Absolutely not. I regret none of the time I’ve spent with my kids, but I’d be lying if I said it wasn’t driving me out of my frickin’ mind. Seriously. SERIOUSLY. I’m bananas. Nuts. Crazy. Batshit. Before, I wasn’t ready, but panic has turned to desperation and I need to get OUT- and tomorrow I am!
Am I scared? I don’t think the worry us parents feel ever really fades, but, I’m READY. I’m ready and I’m excited to not just be a mom- I’ll get to be an ADULT again. A real adult. I’ll never be a child-free adult again (thank goodness. I don’t want to be)- but to get a chance to leave my “mom” at the door and do something for myself? I haven’t even done it yet, but I feel liberated.
Fellow moms- if you’re anything like me, too panic stricken to spend a night away, eventually it WILL get easier, and then you just need to take that leap and do it. For your kids, yourself, your sanity. Be an adult, and not JUST Mommy. Maybe I’ll change my mind on my second day away from them, alone in a loud, busy city, buuuuuuuut, I doubt it! I’m going to be too busy!
And this is where I have questions for you! I will be meeting with some of the wonderful actors from Netflix’s original (and amazing) series- Orange is the New Black, surrounded by 200 of their biggest fans (who may possibly be in costume). I’ll be live-blogging the whole damn thing! What do YOU want to see the most? What questions would you want to ask them, if you could ask them anything?
Am I going to make a total ass of myself? Let me know, and I’ll do my best to get the answers and share the pictures you want to see!
You wouldn't sniff a stranger's butt to see who pooped their pants.... so you probably shouldn't do these other parental things to strangers, either. holdinholden.com/2017/12/weir…
Weird Things you do for your kids but not Strangers goo.gl/fb/oVuwvG
Tis the season! pic.twitter.com/5VgMLnt22E
I am weak pic.twitter.com/LYdRQ6EZcC
You know that feeling when you don't chew a chip all the way and it cuts you all the way down and you swear it's gonna kill you, but you go ahead have another right after? That's what it's like when you decide to have another kid.