Nobody puts baby (and baby’s family) in a corner!

homeAlmost 7 years into this whole ‘parenthood’ thing, and I’m sad to say, the trash still goes out more than I do. I think after a year of not seeing any other human beings except for the one you pushed out of your vagina, you become a homebody. My idea of a fun Friday night is planting my ass on the couch, watching Netflix or whatever I have left on my DVR, and indulging in a few alcoholic beverages. I’m boring! I CAN’T HELP IT! IT JUST HAPPENED!

Really, it’s okay. I’m not bitter about it. It means anything stupid I do is done at home and the only person who can make fun of me is my husband, and he fears for his life, so that isn’t going to happen.

I’ve made friends with people who have kids over these 7 years, but they’re homebodies, too. The thought of getting everything ready to go out when kids are involved is generally too exhausting in and of itself. Maybe next time, we say. How about next week? Next week turns into next month turns into next year and before you know it, you’re me, and your couch has the perfect butt-hole for you to never want to leave it.

The one exception is when someone comes into town that you haven’t seen in a long time, and may not have a chance to see again for even longer.
That is what happened last night.

Them, us, their two kids, our two kids. It’s a family night out!
We picked a new (to us) restaurant that was definitely on the pricier side, but kids 6 and under ate free. If kids 6 and under are free, they must be family friendly! They wouldn’t mention it if they weren’t, right?

We walked in and immediately you could tell the place was upper-crusty, but it was loud. Lots of talking, laughing… I’d dare even call it jovial. Perfect setting for loud kids who might get antsy trying to sit down at a restaurant without booths (meaning we couldn’t trap them in their seats). There were a TON of open tables and we had a reservation, so I expected that we’d get seated almost immediately. Maybe we could even sit by a window so the kids could watch the rain and the cars go by. Distraction is a close friend of mine.

I’ve been given dirty looks in restaurants when my kids act up. I’ve been stared at, whispered about, and who knows how many people mumbled that they wish we would leave. Shit happens. Kids act assholish at times. NEVER before, have I been walked through a half empty dining room and put into a completely separate dining room. Alone.

I’m never one to make a scene, so I just enjoyed the dinner with friends and our WELL-BEHAVED children, but deep down, I was annoyed. We parents spend most of our waking hours tending to someone else and all of their (endless) needs, and the one time we want to go out to be around humans that didn’t go barreling down our birth canals, people whose asses we’ve never wiped, and we get shoved into the back away from everyone, because GOD FORBID we bring children into an establishment that welcomes children.

Not only did our social time suffer, but so did our service. Without going into too many details, I can tell you that we absolutely got the shaft, and not just based upon where we were sitting.

This isn’t the first blog I’ve written about the dirty looks parents get in restaurants if their babychild makes any noise above a whisper, and I’m not going to go on some rant about how parents and kids get treated unfairly these days, because it would fall on deaf ears. All I’m saying is before you stick baby in the corner, along with baby’s family, remember that you were once baby, too- and Patrick Swayze didn’t pop out of the kitchen to stand up for you, and no one will for us either. No one should have to. Don’t put ANYONE in the corner.


*writer’s note: I have worked as a waitress many times in the past, and I can assure you this was not a part of regular rotation, etc. I did not mention the restaurant because I don’t believe in blasting an entire company for a few peoples’ actions.
Posted on July 25, 2014 by Holdin' Holden 1 Comment
Holdin' Holden

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1 Comment

  • I love your side note at the bottom of the post.
    Good for you not blasting the entire business because of the select few.

    They were wrong for placing you in a separate dining room, and then for giving you poor service.
    And I always hate when that happens when we take Emry out.

    I mean he is ONE kid, and some times (i said some times) he is the most well behaved kid IN the restaurant… but, we’re always put in the family section… or the “away from single annoyed people” section…

    And one day… And I’m going to write this out.. because this shit gets me heated.. The “family section” was FREEZING.. it was REALLY DAMN COLD… so I asked if the wait staff could move us, or turn down the AC… when we were told the AC could not be adjusted, I explained that the FRONT of the restaurant was visibly warmer.. and there were empty tables, so we would like to be seated there.

    The waitress looked at Emry.. who was maybe 5 at the time.. and said, “WELL, let me talk to my manager”.
    I stopped her, and I am not one to make a scene either, “Why? Because you will lose your table by sitting us in another servers section, or because we have a kid with us?”

    She stuttered something and got her manager.
    Needless to say… We took our food to GO, and we left that restaurant and NEVER EVER WENT BACK.

    I hate that having kids is an ISSUE with people.
    And some kids are little TWAD HEADS.. and they need a swift kick in the butt and some manners, but, don’t rope ALL kids in there…


    I think you handled it well…