When did we become a society of haters?


Seriously. I want to know what the hell ever happened to “if you don’t have anything nice to say, don’t say anything at all”. When did that disappear into the cosmos? I know my mom sure as hell taught it to me, but even I have to admit that I’m not innocent.

There was a change in the world over the course of my life. No one noticed it. No one MADE it happen. It just did. I get the feeling the internet only encouraged this change to spread. Instead of disliking something and keeping it to ourselves, because who the hell cares about some random thing that we don’t like, we started becoming very vocal. These weren’t protests for important causes. We weren’t yelling for peace on earth, or for clean drinking water. We were bitching about Hanson and the Spice Girls.

As a Hanson lover, I experienced a lot of this hatred hurled toward me. Kids would express their hatred, only to find another kid who said “yeah I hate them, too!” and suddenly, these two strangers had a unique… bond. A bond of hate. Over Hanson. It sounds just as stupid as it is.

Websites popped up, groups formed, and it went from a simple sense of comradery to a fun pastime. Entire relationships built on a mutual hatred of one thing.
Brace yourself, I’m going to use the word- the entire world started to drink the haterade. Even me.

That was only the beginning. As a society, we now have a “love to hate” addiction. We love to hate more than we love to love! And not just Justin Bieber and cell phone companies. The need for hate has expanded. Now, not only do we need to have something to hate on, we need it to respond to us. Easiest way to do that? Shit on someone on the internet; doesn’t matter who, or if you know them, or if they said or did anything wrong. They suck at life, according to us, and we HAVE to let them know. We hate people who don’t know seem to know the difference between “there”, “their”, and “they’re”- and we must mock them mercilessly!

In this day and age, I don’t know anyone who hasn’t fielded a number of stupid, hateful comments. Everything is I hate this, and I hate that; I hate him and I hate her. Hate hate hate! I don’t even feel comfortable with my kids SAYING the word, and I’m about to release them into a world full of it. That’s not okay with me. I don’t usually find a soap box to stand on, but it’s time we stop with all the hate. From experience I can tell you that it is NOT healthy.

About a year ago, I found myself in a very horrible situation. I was going through a dark time, and I was called on some hateful comments. I’d never intended to hurt anyone with them; I’d actually had fun saying the things in what I thought was confidence. It wasn’t. After that, I had to take a long hard look at myself and why I was feeling how I was feeling, why I felt the need to say hateful things about people who really didn’t deserve it, and needed to figure out how to change.

Even though I’d had fun hating on people, it wasn’t a happy fun. It was a sad and mean kind of fun, and it never made me feel GOOD about myself at the end of the day. Once I’d removed the negativity and quit with all the hateful bullshit, I’m not bullshitting you when I say I felt a MILLION times better. Happier. Lighter. And my kids? They don’t hear the word “hate” thrown around casually anymore, and actually stop and tell me that it’s a bad word if I ever slip.

What? I’m not perfect!

There’s enough hate in this world without us adding to it. Prepare for cheesiness- we should all be more positive role models for the little kids of the world. Children only know hate when it is taught to them.


Posted on June 27, 2014 by Holdin' Holden 6 Comments
Holdin' Holden

About Holdin' Holden




  • Well said, I agree 100%. There is way too much hate in the world today!

  • I agree I think everyone is so full of hate because of technology. Before technology if you didn’t like something that someone did you would have to tell them to their face, and risk getting punched in the face. Now, you can hide behind a computer and spread the hate and no one will even know who you are, and you will even get attention from it. That is why people are so bent on being negative.

  • The internet has given everyone carte blanche to be a bully with complete anonymity. That combined with the sudden lack of/lax parenting by Gen-X has lead to the rise of people complaining for the sake of complaining with no repercussions. This also lead to the sense of entitlement they feel about everything. And, od-forbid it doesn’t go the way they want, they shit on it as if they never wanted it in the first place or it’s beneath them. My mother always told me, bluntly, “If you don’t have nothing nice to say, shut the fuck up!” I never complained that something “sucked” cuz it didn’t work out exactly how I hoped/wanted. I dealt with it and moved on. Unfortunately, that is no longer the case today.

  • Amen sister!

    We all fall victim to the “hater-dom” … but, if you are conscious it happened, and you make effort to NOT be that person… than you are light years beyond REAL HATERS.



  • I agree so much with this fantastic blog. I don’t use the word hate I dislike something strongly. My kids don’t say it and actually think it’s a swear word. I don’t allow it said in my home due to it’s negativity. My son got quite an education when he went to preschool with the use of the word. He was quite shocked how casually it was tossed around and said. I believe words go on forever and it’s impossible to take them back. Thank you for sharing.

  • All those pages that crop up on Facebook and everywhere else, i.e. ‘The creatures of *blank
    * county’ that make fun of the way other people dress. I honestly believe that some people belittle others in order to TRY and feel better about themselves. They don’t seem to realize that all that negativity just brings them down more.