Last year on this very day, I was experiencing my first “summer vacation” as an adult. That summer, I learned that the term “summer vacation” is nothing more than an evil and cruel play on words. Summer vacation is NO vacation for adults! What the hell?? First bills, and now this?
I find that as the summer goes on (and ON), the thoughts that run through my head begin to change from Mary Poppins to frickin’ Medusa. If only I could turn everyone to stone!!Now, either I’m completely insane, or other moms have these same thoughts too! I’m going to guess it’s a mixture of both. Do you remember the “this is your brain on drugs” commercial with the chick from “She’s all That” cracking the egg into a hot pan? Yeah. It’s like that. Commiserate with me! These are the thoughts that run through my head-
Yay, summer! No more waking up early for school!
Why are they waking up even earlier?? it’s SUMMER!!!
Oh well, at least I don’t have to make lunches or rush in the morning!
We get to spend more time together! Awesome! I’ve missed my school-kid
I really wish school would hurry up and start
Teachers do NOT get paid enough to put up with this shit!
Is my kid this annoying to everyone else?
Was I this annoying when I was their age??
I think bed time will come early tonight.
I think bed time will come RIGHT NOW
NO, I DON’T CARE IF IT’S STILL LIGHT OUT!
WHY IS EVERYONE YELLING?
WHY AM I YELLING??
DO I EVEN KNOW HOW TO NOT YELL ANYMORE?
WHAT DAY IS IT??
WHO AM I?
WHO ARE THESE LITTLE PEOPLE AND WHY ARE THEY CALLING ME “MOMMY”?
WHY IS EVERYTHING IN THIS HOUSE STICKY??
…. And that was just in the first hour. We’re going to need some strong drinks to make it through these next few months.
Getting my hair done today! Honestly more excited that my husband has to pick up the kids from school than I am about a fresh 'do
17 Stupidly Impossible Things our Kids Think we can do that we… well… can’t. goo.gl/fb/RrkM47
The fact that this is accurate for my life means it's finally happened: I've become my mother. pic.twitter.com/xrIGOoM5Q9
Vacation season is upon is! This is just your friendly reminder that trips with kids are NOT vacations. holdinholden.com/2016/03/vaca…
If you've ever dreamed of having a smaller, angrier version of yourself that you have to argue with over booger eating, kids are for you.
Repeat for infinity while yelling "I JUST CLEANED THAT" pic.twitter.com/pmfEpm3hJU
I love it when my kid is proud of his new accomplishments. I just wish he wouldn't come into my room at 5am to yell them at me while I sleep
Don't grow up- it's a trap! holdinholden.com/2017/05/10-w…
FYI: When I said "enough with the cold weather! It's MAY! Give us heat!" I didn't mean that I wanted to take a vacation to Satan's anus.