Loading

A mom’s REAL thoughts on summer “vacation”

vacay

Last year on this very day, I was experiencing my first “summer vacation” as an adult. That summer, I learned that the term “summer vacation” is nothing more than an evil and cruel play on words. Summer vacation is NO vacation for adults! What the hell?? First bills, and now this?

I find that as the summer goes on (and ON), the thoughts that run through my head begin to change from Mary Poppins to frickin’ Medusa. If only I could turn everyone to stone!!Now, either I’m completely insane, or other moms have these same thoughts too! I’m going to guess it’s a mixture of both. Do you remember the “this is your brain on drugs” commercial with the chick from “She’s all That” cracking the egg into a hot pan? Yeah. It’s like that. Commiserate with me! These are the thoughts that run through my head-

Yay, summer! No more waking up early for school!

Why are they waking up even earlier?? it’s SUMMER!!!

Oh well, at least I don’t have to make lunches or rush in the morning!

We get to spend more time together! Awesome! I’ve missed my school-kid

I really wish school would hurry up and start

Teachers do NOT get paid enough to put up with this shit!

Is my kid this annoying to everyone else?

Was I this annoying when I was their age??

I think bed time will come early tonight.

I think bed time will come RIGHT NOW

NO, I DON’T CARE IF IT’S STILL LIGHT OUT!

WHY IS EVERYONE YELLING?

WHY AM I YELLING??

DO I EVEN KNOW HOW TO NOT YELL ANYMORE?

WHAT DAY IS IT??

WHO AM I?

WHO ARE THESE LITTLE PEOPLE AND WHY ARE THEY CALLING ME “MOMMY”?

WHY IS EVERYTHING IN THIS HOUSE STICKY??

…. And that was just in the first hour. We’re going to need some strong drinks to make it through these next few months.

Posted on June 16, 2014 by Holdin' Holden 2 Comments
Holdin' Holden

About Holdin' Holden

  •  

Categories

2 Comments

  • Thank you for writing this fantastic blog!!! This is my life to a T!!! Between a teachers strike that has my school kid out early, his little bro whining and crying because he misses his play group teacher (who operates out of the same school) and packing and moving to another province, I’m losing my shit on a daily basis.

  • I was just talking about this with my boss, of all people.
    I would love to spend a week or two out of the summer with Emry… Heck.. 8 weeks of vacation.. so maybe 2 weeks… Because I know that I would need at least 2 more weeks to recover AT WORK from the 2 weeks spent together.
    I love summer camp. I love it I love it I love it.
    We have to bust our asses so he can go.. but, my sanity (what remains) is appreciated.

    I know not everyone has this option. But, holy crap… I think the first hour would kill me, and he would be all LORD OF THE FLIES by time my fiance got home from work.
    You know what I mean?