Last year on this very day, I was experiencing my first “summer vacation” as an adult. That summer, I learned that the term “summer vacation” is nothing more than an evil and cruel play on words. Summer vacation is NO vacation for adults! What the hell?? First bills, and now this?
I find that as the summer goes on (and ON), the thoughts that run through my head begin to change from Mary Poppins to frickin’ Medusa. If only I could turn everyone to stone!!Now, either I’m completely insane, or other moms have these same thoughts too! I’m going to guess it’s a mixture of both. Do you remember the “this is your brain on drugs” commercial with the chick from “She’s all That” cracking the egg into a hot pan? Yeah. It’s like that. Commiserate with me! These are the thoughts that run through my head-
Yay, summer! No more waking up early for school!
Why are they waking up even earlier?? it’s SUMMER!!!
Oh well, at least I don’t have to make lunches or rush in the morning!
We get to spend more time together! Awesome! I’ve missed my school-kid
I really wish school would hurry up and start
Teachers do NOT get paid enough to put up with this shit!
Is my kid this annoying to everyone else?
Was I this annoying when I was their age??
I think bed time will come early tonight.
I think bed time will come RIGHT NOW
NO, I DON’T CARE IF IT’S STILL LIGHT OUT!
WHY IS EVERYONE YELLING?
WHY AM I YELLING??
DO I EVEN KNOW HOW TO NOT YELL ANYMORE?
WHAT DAY IS IT??
WHO AM I?
WHO ARE THESE LITTLE PEOPLE AND WHY ARE THEY CALLING ME “MOMMY”?
WHY IS EVERYTHING IN THIS HOUSE STICKY??
…. And that was just in the first hour. We’re going to need some strong drinks to make it through these next few months.
So accurate it's painful pic.twitter.com/B9KQlSx3NO
This is what is winning me EVERY argument EVER. it's a low down dirty mom trick, but I'll take what I can get! holdinholden.com/2017/03/mom-…
Told myself I was going to eat healthier this year, but it's already become obvious that what I meant by that was "eat more tacos"
Mom vs. Kids: How to win EVERY. SINGLE. TIME. goo.gl/fb/3ze4FW
Countdown to the apocalypse: 3.5 days, 3.5 hours. Oh, did I say apocalypse? I meant spring break. Same thing.
Get on it, oil people!! pic.twitter.com/xgXSB34uGf