When something “big” happens in the news, I don’t feel compelled to sit down and diarrhea my thoughts about it all over the internet. I guess that’s why I’m a blogger who writes about my kids’ bowel movements (and maybe my own) and not a serious journalist. So, then why am I about to write a blog about the Gwyneth Paltrow “controversy”? Because I like living in my bubble, not giving a single fuck about what anyone has to say about my parenting skills, and the not-so dormant mommy wars are erupting around me and I find it highly annoying and unnecessary. Since there are many who don’t agree with me, I want to explain WHY I think it’s highly annoying an unnecessary. It’s about time to beat the dead horse for the very last time. You’re welcome!
Apparently Gwyneth is some kind of rich snobby self-proclaimed super-mom. I’ve never met her, so I wouldn’t know, but this is what I hear and read. Miss Gwynnie over the years has managed to earn herself the above title with things she has said that us “common folk” can’t relate to, and therefore, it sounds as though she is talking down to everyone. Recently, she made comments to the effect that (and I’m summarizing here) her job as a famous bajillionaire actress is much harder than regular ol’ working moms.
As a regular ol’ mom, shouldn’t I be OUTRAGED? As someone who works very long hours from home (hey, this blog and those books, articles, etc. aren’t gonna write themselves!), shouldn’t I be offended that she thinks being in movies is harder than busting your ass for a living?
Well, as someone who relates to all “normal” moms- I get it, but I have to say- I get Gwyn, too. You read that right- miss so-called snobby upper-crusty judgy mom? I get her. More than once I have said or written the wrong thing, and when you say or write the wrong thing for all the public to see without thinking about who might POSSIBLY get offended, shit tends to hit the fan from time to time. Now, you may still disagree. I understand that. What she said sounds AWFUL, but while we’re over here in Normalville yelling about how she should think before she speaks/writes, shouldn’t we be doing the same?
Gwyneth Paltrow, self proclaimed super-mom, upper crusty, says things without thinking movie star, at the end of the day, is a mom just like the rest of us.
Just like she can’t seem to relate to us, can we really relate to HER? And if we can’t, do we really have the right to judge? If not, why the hell do we care what she says?
We all grew up differently, yet have things in common. Some of us had two parents, some one. Some had a stay at home parent, some were latchkey kids. Some of our families struggled, while others flourish. These experiences color our personalities, opinions, and decisions throughout our lives. All of our colors can’t always match the colors of others. That’s what makes life so interesting, frustrating, amazing, and maddening. Gwyneth’s colors clash with most of ours, and that is the true problem here.
Moms want her to walk a mile in their shoes; not just play one in a movie, but REALLY try to understand where the working non-movie star mom is coming from. Why? Why do we care that some random celebrity thinks movie work is harder than a regular working mom’s job? Do her words REALLY invalidate the working mom?
Fine, let’s run with it. We want her to get us before opening her mouth. Shouldn’t we give her the same consideration?
Think about it- how did she grow up? Why does she hold an opinion that, to many of us, is “wrong”?
She is the daughter of a film producer, and a movie star. “Normal” childhood? Not quite! She has likely never held a “normal” job, has never known what it’s like to struggle or live paycheck to paycheck. Still, like any other mom, she has worries and stresses. Problems with no clear solutions. Mom guilt. The only difference is what exactly they are. So maybe we can’t relate to her every day parental stresses, and maybe she can’t and may never understand ours, but… so what? We’d all do well to remember that everyone has their own struggles, and what may be hard to us seems easy to someone else and vice-versa. Why do we moms constantly have to fight and bicker over who has it harder, who’s more of a mom, who’s a crappy mom because so and so did or didn’t do this or say that or BLAAAHHHHHHHHH! It’s SO STUPID I can’t even handle it! Stay at home moms fighting with working moms. Bottle fed vs. breast fed. Crib vs. co-sleeping. Baby-wearing vs. not- Christ on a cracker, is there not ENOUGH battling in mom-land out there already? Do we really need to get mad at Gwyneth freakin’ Paltrow? What purpose does it serve? What purpose does ANY of it serve? Is bitching at and about her going to change people’s views of the normal working mom? Uh, no- because all of us here in Normalville know that moms are fucking bad ass and it’s hard work whether you “work” or not. All this fighting is nothing but a waste of time!
Do I think miss movie star self-proclaimed super-mom was being intentionally insulting? No. I just don’t think she has any idea what she’s talking about because her life is so vastly different than the average human that she has her own atmosphere. I also think bashing her is highly hypocritical and even worse than her being out of touch with the lives of other moms. I also think it DOESN’T FUCKING MATTER. Who the hell cares?
Sorry, y’all. I’d love to stay and rage with you, but I’m with Gwyn on this one- the mommy wars need to stop! Now go drink a cocktail and take a nap; that is a FAR better use of your time!
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