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A note from the mom of a girl to the moms of boys, you lucky bitches!

Tonight’s blog is a GUEST blog from friend, reader, and fellow Facebook page admin Joni from “WTF was I thinking” – check it out! And read this blog- a little rant..er… note.. from the mom of a girl to those of us who have boys!

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I miss the good old days. Ya know the days that my oldest daughter had NO INTEREST AT ALL in … (shudder) boys. 

The days when you had a boyfriend and then broke up a day or 2 later.

Yep those days are long gone now.

I have a 10 year old going on 16 Y’all.13

Miss M has been with Mr.K for 9 months!!!! that’s right, NINE FREAKING MONTHS!!!

She tells me things. Like she loves him. And I get to hear about the class will be home wrecker trying to break her and K up, but they won’t let that happen because their love is true. Where does she get this shit?

I’ve met K a few times. In general he is a sweet kid.

He tells M that she is beautiful and smart. He carries her books for her and holds doors open.

I’m proud of her taste in men. She knows not to put up with anyone’s shit, and she doesn’t. She has K trained!

It’s a hard pill to swallow to realize that your babies are growing up.

It’s even worse when the person that has your child’s attention gives her the “look”. I hate that look. Ya know, the look of total adoration…. Yep I hate it!

And that is when I know that you bitches that harvested only winkies in your uterus… I hate you!

You only have to worry about the winkies you brought into this world. However, I who birthed 3 girls have to worry about every damn winkie in the universe. Even alien winkies!!!  If it has a winkie I am tripping balls and plotting how I am going to remove said winkie if it comes near my daughter.

There are more days than I can count that I pray that my girls gain a ton of weight and start sprouting facial hair. Just so I don’t have to worry about winkies.  But like Hubby said, ugly hairy bitches need love too, and there is pretty much a guarantee that there is a hideous man that would think my hideous hairy daughter was hot. And then I am once again googling winkie removal. Terms like ungloved are Loraina Bobbit flood my mind.

You know that saying that what when you have children what you did to your parents will come back to you to the 3rd power. It’s the universes way of straightening you out, and teaching you a lesson. I am beyond screwed, and all I can say if FUCK YOU UNIVERSE! I HATE YOUR NASTY FACE!!!

Now I am seriously considering home schooling all of the kids just to keep them about from boys for the rest of their lives.

I have grey hairs and wrinkles over this shit! NOT COOL!!!

I’m not ready for Grand babies.

Not saying my girls will be whores, but the 3rd power shit really has me worried at this point!

I was a shitty boy crazy teen. Now I have a shitty boy crazy, and MOUTHY 10 year old to contend with.

Yeah you bitches with boys have it easy.

Posted on May 2, 2014 by Holdin' Holden 2 Comments
Holdin' Holden

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  • And this is why I was soooo glad I only had 2 boys! Girls scare the ever living shit outta me! My boys are 13 & 16. My younger one is a ‘young’ 13. He has friends that are girls but is not interesting in girls being girlfriends. (Which makes me happy!) And at this point, he doesn’t even want to get married. (Which makes me sad.)
    My 16 year old, however, IS interested in girls being girlfriends. He has ‘tried’ twice…but neither ‘relationship’ lasted more than a few weeks. He really didn’t seem to be willing to put the effort into what girls want from a relationship. After his first ‘break up’ (She dumped him on Facebook by telling someone on her page that she was single. When he asked about it…she said “What? I’m single!” Grr…lil tramp!) I told him girls want to be showered with attention 24/7…and he wasn’t willing to do that, at that point. Lately, he is more willing. He is a nice looking kid but has only just starting growing so, he’s still on the small side and skinny as hell. He is crazy smart AND athletic…but is constantly getting ‘friend zoned’ by the girls he likes. Maybe he aims too high. I dunno…?? But, it’s fine with me. The longer I get without the chicks messing things up, the better!
    I don’t know about the girls around there…but around here, the 12 yr olds look like they’re 20! They are rude, loud and obnoxious. You can have a group of 15 kids hanging out…2 of them, girls…the rest, boys. BUT, you will only hear the girls! And THEY call all the shots! Most boys are dragged around by their noses by those girls and are emotionally conned on a regular basis! My nephew is also 16 and has had a girlfriend for a few months…in that time, he has gotten in trouble on several occasions because she keeps saying things like “If you love me, you’ll do…(insert random scenario that will get him in shit here)!” And the love struck, stupid idiot falls for it…every friggin TIME!
    Yeah….the longer I am without the ‘girlfriends’ in my life…the happier I will be!
    Have you ever heard the old poem…???
    A daughter is a daughter, to her mother, for life…
    But a son is a son, until he takes a wife!
    Be happy you have daughters…they will always be ‘yours’.

  • I have 3 girls and the oldest is doing my head in. She is 13 and is clever, snarky and strong. Full of opinions and not afraid to say what she thinks. Scary as all hell. When she was young I used to fear the idea of teenage pregnancy and all the other junk that comes with having the innie not the outie.
    But I am also the mother to 1 solitary boy, poor lost soul in a sea of estrogen. Hes 11 and now I see the world of boys in a whole new light. They come home IN boxes, not with something in their box. They hold no fear, forget tomorrow has consequences and do rash or stupid things.
    No matter what your childs bits hold, their futures are freaking scary. All you can hope is that they make it to adulthood relatively unscathed so you dont need a replacement liver from dealing with all that stress.