One moment I was whizzing down water slides and laughing until my face hurt with my kids, and the next we were all moaning in frustration. Them because I said I needed a break to soak in the hot tub, and me because I NEEDED a break from the fun to soak in the hot tub. That is where I spent most of my family’s trip to Great Wolf Lodge over the weekend (review coming soon!). That was not at all where I wanted to be.
Getting to experience childhood all over again with my kids is an AMAZING experience. I get to be silly, immature, and to do shit that would be totally inappropriate to do as an adult but is now totally acceptable thanks to little ones. I would have loved nothing more than spending all day long spinning and laughing and jumping and sliding with the kids, but as I sat in that hot tub while a group of teenagers splashed and dunked each other without caring about the adults sitting around them, who were now glaring probably thinking “this is a hot tub! I’m trying to RELAX here!”, I realized I was glaring, too. I was soaking my aches and pains, and lamenting about whipper snappers disturbing my quiet, relaxing, happy time. I was an adult. When the hell did that happen???
When I say my age out loud, it doesn’t feel like that is REALLY my age. I don’t feel “that old”, I don’t feel like I thought I would feel at this age. I’m not mature by any means. I still make poop jokes and turn anything with the SLIGHTEST innuendo into something dirty. I’m young, damnit! Age is just a number! If I can keep up with two little kids that have endless sources of energy, I must still be young, right??
Uh, no. As much as I try, I can’t keep up with those shits. I konked out after the first day at Great Wolf BEFORE they did! I think that I’m young until I’m around young people. As I sat in that tub of people soup, soaking my achy back, with my frustration level rising faster than the water temperature, well, let’s just say that if I’m only as old as I feel, I’m about 900 years old. Surprisingly, I’m okay with that. Damn whipper snappers.
Did you know that toothpaste becomes stronger than concrete if left on surfaces for too long? I didn't either. Thanks, kids!
Y'all can keep your creepy little elves- my kids live in fear of the PRESENT PRISON. holdinholden.com/2014/12/the-…
Cut Yourself some Christmas Slack goo.gl/fb/4WVJe2
My day as a parent isn't complete until I've threatened to sell at least one of my children on the black market. Twice. At least.
He only has himself to blame pic.twitter.com/UffL59jSmz
I'm forever teaching my kids to never say never... but... I'm breaking my own rules, here. NEVER EVER EVER will there be an elf on my shelf. Here's why: holdinholden.com/2012/11/why-…
If you have the desire to be in charge of someone else's bedtime who listens to you even less than you listen to yourself when you say "GO TO SLEEP ALREADY!"- having kids is definitely for you.