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“Mom Bragging” – is it EVER okay?

bragblog

For reasons unknown to me, it would seem that parenthood is a competition. Who’s the better parent? Who has the best and brightest kid? As hard as I try to keep myself and my kids out of the Momlympics, I often find myself thrust into the game against my knowledge, and suddenly there is a lot of one-upping, “Mom bragging”, and comparing going on.

I’m just as proud of my kids as everyone else, but I don’t go spewing it all over the internet. Should I? Should I be bragging far and wide for the world to see? Should I be constantly talking about how my kid is THE most awesome, intelligent, caring, and fantastical kid on the entire planet? Or… is that obnoxious?

Do I really even need to ask? The answer is clearly OBNOXIOUS. No one wants to read or hear something that makes them feel inferior. And for it to be constant verbal diarrhea? Even worse. And we ALL know someone like that. We might even BE that person from time to time. Yikes. When I wrote it all out like that, it sounds pretty bad. But why? What the hell? What’s wrong with a little bragging every now and again? I can’t seem to put my finger on it. That might have a little something to do with the fact that any time I have vomited rainbows and unicorns about my kids, another mom-bragger has to come along and poop on my vomit.

Why is it that when someone posts about something great that has happened to them or their kids, not everyone can just say “Hey, that’s great!” Instead, we (yes, I said “we”- I’m not always innocent of this!) “Hey, that’s great! (Now let me insert something about MY kid here instead of letting you have your moment).” Why can’t we just let someone have their moment? Is it because secretly, we want to be better than everyone else? Is it for validation? Is it to be able to relate to them?

I am so averse to the dreaded Mom-Brag, that I actually cringe on the rare occasion that I post one. It even happened today. I actually WARNED people before my brag.
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How braggy is TOO braggy? When do you cross the line and become an obnoxious mom bragger? Is it really THAT bad? I have so many questions that I feel like my head is going explode! In order to get to the end answer, I think we have to start at the beginning- and it begins early. So early, the kid isn’t even born yet!

We are pitted against each other from the beginning- conception! Pregnancy! Who’s showing first, who looks better pregnant,who has cuter maternity clothes, whose boobs got the biggest, who has the least amount of stretch marks. Oh, you have stretch marks? Well, I have more and mine are darker so you can’t complain! Whose cellulite is more dimply, who gives birth first, whose newborn baby looks the least like a potato, who loses the pregnancy weight first, it NEVER ENDS! It’s frickin’ ridiculous.

Y’know, I thought I was confused, but even with all the feelings to consider, the holier-than-thou bragging, and butthurt that floats around, the answer is simple: you should be brag, and bragging is a hell of a lot better than complaining about how our kids are becoming the delinquents the older generation swears they are. Be proud of your kid and your own accomplishments. Go ahead and brag, you should! You deserve to! Just don’t be a fucking asshole about it. Period. Be braggy, but humble, and for the love of all that is holy- don’t be a one-upper.

Posted on April 2, 2014 by Holdin' Holden 3 Comments
Holdin' Holden

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3 Comments

  • I have not faced the bragging brigade, but I have faced the competition of who has it harder. I always win on the, “I haven’t slept.” Even beat the nurse with that one. I beat Marines who just did the Crucible with “I’m tired.” But things like, “My kid threw an epic meltdown,” moms be like, “Yeah, my kid threw one more epic.” My kids destroyed this room… “oh yeah, my kids destroyed Tokyo.” Yeah well my kids snuck into Bill Clinton’s tent and freaked out the secret service. I win again.

  • Oh yeah. I totes got your 4.0 student beat. Yesterday. I took my kids bowling. Won 3 teddy bears back to back on the claw machine with my first try. Pwned. Yep. Momma of the year here. PS my kids had ice cream for dinner and pizza for dessert.

    For real, I think the secret lies in being secure with your insecurities. I got a kid that’s a little behind on reading, but considering she’s on the autism spectrum and could barely speak well when all the kids in her class were learning to read for the first two years of it, I’m happy she can keep up. To me, that’s more amazing than starting out ahead. I do the same thing with other kids. My old neighbor used to brag about how clean her kids are. Considering my kids are destructors of the universe, I kind of knew it was a braggy war thing. But see, I think her kids are rude when it comes to cleaning. But I’ve seen her youngest play with a kid nobody else would play with. Now that should be what momma needs to be bragging about. And your kids hear it. They take on the personality you brag about them having. So brag responsibly.

  • I’ve never been one to “keep up with the Jones'”.
    But, if my kid does something really cute, or really bright… or just out of character (good or bad – but always hysterical)… I tend to share it with someone.

    If someone takes offense or hates hearing it, they can simply say that they don’t like talking about my kid. But, you know… that’s just me.

    I love the little booger!

    (OH and opening the door for old people? VERY SWEET! and My son has been making jokes that involve MOOO in them. So, reading the cow part made me chuckle!)