For reasons unknown to me, it would seem that parenthood is a competition. Who’s the better parent? Who has the best and brightest kid? As hard as I try to keep myself and my kids out of the Momlympics, I often find myself thrust into the game against my knowledge, and suddenly there is a lot of one-upping, “Mom bragging”, and comparing going on.
I’m just as proud of my kids as everyone else, but I don’t go spewing it all over the internet. Should I? Should I be bragging far and wide for the world to see? Should I be constantly talking about how my kid is THE most awesome, intelligent, caring, and fantastical kid on the entire planet? Or… is that obnoxious?
Do I really even need to ask? The answer is clearly OBNOXIOUS. No one wants to read or hear something that makes them feel inferior. And for it to be constant verbal diarrhea? Even worse. And we ALL know someone like that. We might even BE that person from time to time. Yikes. When I wrote it all out like that, it sounds pretty bad. But why? What the hell? What’s wrong with a little bragging every now and again? I can’t seem to put my finger on it. That might have a little something to do with the fact that any time I have vomited rainbows and unicorns about my kids, another mom-bragger has to come along and poop on my vomit.
Why is it that when someone posts about something great that has happened to them or their kids, not everyone can just say “Hey, that’s great!” Instead, we (yes, I said “we”- I’m not always innocent of this!) “Hey, that’s great! (Now let me insert something about MY kid here instead of letting you have your moment).” Why can’t we just let someone have their moment? Is it because secretly, we want to be better than everyone else? Is it for validation? Is it to be able to relate to them?
I am so averse to the dreaded Mom-Brag, that I actually cringe on the rare occasion that I post one. It even happened today. I actually WARNED people before my brag.
How braggy is TOO braggy? When do you cross the line and become an obnoxious mom bragger? Is it really THAT bad? I have so many questions that I feel like my head is going explode! In order to get to the end answer, I think we have to start at the beginning- and it begins early. So early, the kid isn’t even born yet!
We are pitted against each other from the beginning- conception! Pregnancy! Who’s showing first, who looks better pregnant,who has cuter maternity clothes, whose boobs got the biggest, who has the least amount of stretch marks. Oh, you have stretch marks? Well, I have more and mine are darker so you can’t complain! Whose cellulite is more dimply, who gives birth first, whose newborn baby looks the least like a potato, who loses the pregnancy weight first, it NEVER ENDS! It’s frickin’ ridiculous.
Y’know, I thought I was confused, but even with all the feelings to consider, the holier-than-thou bragging, and butthurt that floats around, the answer is simple: you should be brag, and bragging is a hell of a lot better than complaining about how our kids are becoming the delinquents the older generation swears they are. Be proud of your kid and your own accomplishments. Go ahead and brag, you should! You deserve to! Just don’t be a fucking asshole about it. Period. Be braggy, but humble, and for the love of all that is holy- don’t be a one-upper.
You wouldn't sniff a stranger's butt to see who pooped their pants.... so you probably shouldn't do these other parental things to strangers, either. holdinholden.com/2017/12/weir…
Weird Things you do for your kids but not Strangers goo.gl/fb/oVuwvG
Tis the season! pic.twitter.com/5VgMLnt22E
I am weak pic.twitter.com/LYdRQ6EZcC
You know that feeling when you don't chew a chip all the way and it cuts you all the way down and you swear it's gonna kill you, but you go ahead have another right after? That's what it's like when you decide to have another kid.