As I was arguing the importance of nap time with my 4 year old today, I realized just how much I have taken you for granted over the years.
Growing up, my motto was “I’ll sleep when I’m dead!” I balked at the idea of an afternoon nap. I hated bed time and fought it with every fiber of my being. There was LIFE going on! If someone was having fun, I didn’t want them having it without me because of something silly like SLEEP. Even when I was sick and my body was crying for more rest- there were couches to surf and soap operas to watch! Spend a sick day sleeping? Why I never! Have to wake up early? I didn’t need to go to bed early! There’s more internet to surf, friends to chat with, boys to gossip about. Beauty sleep? Overrated. I have my youth, I don’t need to sleep to be beautiful!
I sit here now, deep into my 6th straight year of not even a single uninterrupted or satisfying sleep, and humbly admit that I was wrong. THERE I SAID IT! I was wrong, sleep; and you were right! I’m sorry, Sleep, for underestimating your value, mocking you, skipping you, trying to deny you. Now that I finally know your worth and I am willing to appreciate you how you should be appreciated, I have children of my own who don’t appreciate you and are keeping us apart.
Maybe it’s too late; maybe there’s no hope for us now, but I have to try- I want you back, sleep! Not just a little of you, not for just a one night stand, but EVERY night. I want ALL of you, and I’m not afraid to say it! I want 8 hours of just me and you for the rest of my life. Hell, I would take even more if you would be so willing to grace me with your presence. Silly things like life and responsibility will no longer get in the way! I’m tired, Sleep- and I know now that you are the only one that can help!
Can you ever forgive me, sleep? Can we work this out and be together once again, or will you end up like my metabolism and be the one that got away? Say it ain’t so!
The “Are You Ready to Have Kids?” Checklist of Doom goo.gl/fb/DTPJ1A
If anyone asks how I died, you can just go ahead and tell them "she was lured in by free pie in exchange for listening to 2nd graders screech Thanksgiving songs for 30 minutes"
Half-Assed Jingler Syndrome goo.gl/fb/McWfBy
@ItsEvieClaire Booze and tears
I'm not saying this is the perfect #Christmas gift for all the parents in your life, but.... okay, yeah I am. That's exactly what I'm saying. Truths from the bowels of parenthood! amazon.com/Kids-Are-Turds…
@Gofashiondeals All of that and more. Good times. Gooooood times