I’m thankful for family the roof over my head, healthy happy children, and a loving husband- UUGGHHHHHHHHHH BARF! I’m sorry I put you through that.
I know, it’s the thankful season. A month long of everyone being thankful for everything and letting the entire world know it via social network. Sure, I think it’s nice to take time out of your day to sit and think of things that you are thankful for and may never express them (or not enough)- but it’s not for me. It’s not that I’m NOT thankful, it’s that the things I am thankful for are kind of a no-brainer. They’re the exact same things everyone else is thankful for. My newsfeed is full enough without me adding to it. Plus, it kinda makes me wanna hurl.
NOT participating, though, makes me kinda feel like a shit head. Like maybe I SHOULD be expressing thanks for the random shit everyone already knows that everyone else is thankful for. Maybe I SHOULD be helping to clog the Facebook newsfeed. I do think it’s important to be thankful, regardless of how you choose to express it- but what about the things that aren’t so obvious? The things that get overlooked while everyone gushes over friends and family? Do they not deserve thanks, too? Didn’t Patrick Swayze already decide long ago that NOBODY puts baby in a corner? These things may not be as well known, but they are still important, damnit!
Have no fear, things that reside on the Island of Misfit Thanks- I will rescue you!
Okay, to be less ridiculous and more serious- this year I want to thank things that have kept me sane since becoming a parent. The little things in life that I have learned to enjoy, that excite me, since I
stopped having a life had children.
I am thankful for the sporadic uninterrupted poop. The satisfaction of being able to release the demons without being asked for something or whined at or complained to or tattled to… it’s wondrous.
I am thankful for animals, for they are the only creatures left on this planet who do not back-sass me. Or at least if they do, I do not understand them.
I am thankful for my friends having babies, because it ain’t me!
I am thankful for the postal system, because getting the mail momentarily gets me out of this fucking house!
I am thankful that nap time still exists in this house. ‘Nuff said.
I am especially thankful for BED TIME. For the kids, and for me. Sleep is awesome.
I am thankful for leftovers. Cooking sucks.
I am definitely thankful for crockpots, so that when I do have to cook, I don’t.
I am thankful to have a husband and children who don’t chew like cows, so I never feel the urge to spork anyone in the middle of a meal
I’m thankful to live so close to Holden’s elementary school that I never have to wait out in this stupid fucking cold ass weather for a school bus with him.
Hell, I’m thankful for school in general, just to get a break from the King of Backsassery.
I guess I should just be thankful that I have all of these stupid things to be thankful for. Come Thursday, I’ll be thankful for foods with fiber, and Sunday I’ll be thankful that the month of thankfuls is finally over!
'Tis the season to return a gift given to you and have the uncontrollable urge to buy more crap for your kids with the money.
😂😂😂 I never knew we had so much in common pic.twitter.com/Yu4ytvgmOp
Did you know that toothpaste becomes stronger than concrete if left on surfaces for too long? I didn't either. Thanks, kids!
Y'all can keep your creepy little elves- my kids live in fear of the PRESENT PRISON. holdinholden.com/2014/12/the-…
Cut Yourself some Christmas Slack goo.gl/fb/4WVJe2
My day as a parent isn't complete until I've threatened to sell at least one of my children on the black market. Twice. At least.
He only has himself to blame pic.twitter.com/UffL59jSmz