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Parenthood is like…

How do you describe parenthood? Have you ever tried? It’s hard to find the words to really sum up something so broad and mysterious and infuriating; but if you were to try- what would you say? Maybe your answer would be “love”- because even though those little shits drive us nuts we still love them, but that just doesn’t do it for me. It doesn’t feel accurate enough. I don’t think there is one single word that can really sum up what being a parent is like for those who haven’t experienced it for themselves; it truly is that unique.

I have no idea why I want to try to do the seemingly impossible. I guess I enjoy a good challenge. You have to enjoy challenges to purposely procreate!

Here goes nothin’:

Parenthood is like being stuck in front of an ambulance with no way to pull over, and once you are finally able to get out of the way and relief washes over you, you see flashing lights in your rearview again.

Parenthood is knowing that a fight about who farted is not worth the trouble. And that you’ll likely get blamed no matter who did it.

Parenthood is saying the same thing over and over again and hoping for a different result. Interestingly enough, that is also the definition for insanity.
Coincidence? I think not.

Parenthood is being ecstatic after finding a piece of candy in your pocket and slipping it into your mouth without your spawn noticing.
Mmmmm…. tastes like deceit sprinkled with win!

Parenthood is not asking questions when you catch your child intently arguing with their reflection other than if you can have whatever it is they’re on, because it seems pretty f’in fun.

Parenthood is having something reasonably important to say but immediately forgetting what it is and by the time you remember you decide not to say it because no one was going to listen to you anyway.

Parenthood is listening to your child go into minute detail about the safari they took during their extended trip to Africa last month and NOT responding “you are so fucking full of shit!”

If none of those do it for ya, if they don’t tickle your pickle or float your boat- there’s always old faithful of all Parenthood sayings:

Parenthood is like being pecked to death by chickens.

Now if that ain’t as close to true as true can be, I don’t know what is!

Posted on August 23, 2013 by Holdin' Holden 2 Comments
Holdin' Holden

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2 Comments

  • You hit the nail on the head with this. GREAT ONE!!!

  • And I’ve learned that it doesn’t get any easier once the little turds have become adult turds. The only bonus is the grand kids. Surviving my children is for sure worth my 2 wonderful grandsons (and a new grand baby due August 6, 2015). Even with the greatness of those grand babies…I don’t think I’d do it again LOL