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Laughing at kids art- I’m going to hell for that one; who’s coming with me?

What I am sharing with you here in this blog is not something I could post to my page, or share with my friends. I saved it for the blog because I know you brave people can handle it. You can probably handle just about anything after reading about a spelunking expedition in my lady bits or the time I crapped myself in public– so here we are.

First off, I must say that I love my children’s naivety and gullibility. It’s sweet and it’s innocent and growing up blows because you basically lose all of that, as does everyone growing up around you. Dare I even say I’m jealous of it. How lovely would it be to be blissfully unaware? To just be happy and free and not care about political correctness or unintended innuendo or sexual harassment lawsuits- yes yes, I think that would be wondrous.
Alas, I find myself at times to be a bored stay at home mom. Now, if you have kids, you know that the definition of “bored” changes greatly once you procreate- and instead of meaning sitting around with your thumb up your butt whining about how there is nothing to do when there is an entire WORLD full of things to do- bored becomes trapped in the house because of nap times with no one to have adult conversations with need SOME form of entertainment that doesn’t have anything to do with television because I’m exhausted and my eyes hurt and damnit, I just want to laugh! That, my friends, is the bored I know today, and many days just like this one.

Does it sound like I’m justifying? Maybe I am. I’m a single lady lookin’ for laughs in all the wrong places! Or … something…
Basically what I’m saying here is that I have had to find alternative ways to entertain myself. Alternative CHILD APPROPRIATE ways, mind you. We parents can get creative, right? We do that shit every day for our kids, so why not to keep ourselves busy?

Over the years, I have made quite the enjoyable hobby out of laughing at Holden’s artwork. His mind works in mysterious ways. Of course HE has no idea that half of the things he used to draw resembled certain body parts, and of COURSE I would never tell him why I was laughing so hard I couldn’t breathe at a picture he claimed was his little brother kicking a soccer ball. I can’t help it. The pervy brain sees what the pervy brain sees, and I am sure before too long, Holden himself will be laughing at stupid shit like I do and turning absolutely everything humanly possible into sexual innuendo and it will drive me insane to the point where I become that crabby old mom who washes his dirty mouth out with soap…. so what I’m saying here is that I’m going to enjoy it while it lasts.

Am I still justifying? I think I kind of have to- because after laughing so hard I pulled something at this one, and the look I got from Thomas when I showed it to HIM thinking he would laugh at the same blatant yet innocent perversion because he too is a corrupted adult with a pervy brain and he looked at me all cock-eyed like I had really actually FINALLY lost my mind- I think I’ve secured myself a seat on an express train to hell. The question is- are you coming with me? I’ve got an air conditioned apartment with ice water waiting!

Sweet boy. He was only doing his homework! He was instructed to write a sentence about one of his classmates and then draw a picture to go with it- good boy did exactly that! And he even spelled everything correctly!
But…

blogdraw
Oh…. Oh dear. Here it comes…
Heeeeeeheheheheheheheheheheheheheheheheeee!
I cannot control myself.
It actually took me a full 3 minutes to UNSEE the… um… playing with. Poor innocent Holden could not understand why I was laughing so hard at a drawing he did not intend to be funny (and there are plenty that he does.)
His classroom has “centers” and one of them happens to be a little carpeted area with a bunch of wooden blocks. This picture is obviously them stacking blocks together- oh the things my bored old mind does for entertainment. Yes, I know what this picture ACTUALLY is, but I still see… well, you know. I know you do. For shame!!! Don’t lie. And don’t worry, I’ve got a seat saved just for you.

Posted on May 13, 2013 by Holdin' Holden 10 Comments
Holdin' Holden

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10 Comments

  • That is hilarious! My oldest has this suspicios look she gives me when.i look at her art. Sometimes there is a chuckle 🙂

  • Oh goodness, this is hard to not laugh at. And trust me that when my eldest (3) get a boo-boo on his bottom, and asks me to kiss it, that I nearly lose it in every sense of the way. Perfectly innocent, I kiss his other boo boos, so why not this one?! But then I have to explain that his booty is dirty! Lol. And he ends up making a joke out of it too. It’s good for our children to grow with a sense of humor!

  • Just wait it will get better….My 11-12 year old was laughing histerically the other night when I asked him to go and get the ‘teabags’ and to bang the ice bag on the floor. Yea, I understand the humor but it is adult humor. Alas I wrote a blog on it because I can’t very well put it on my FB page 🙂

  • Yep, I’ll be joining you in hell in a pair of gasoline underwear for that one… lmao thanks for sharing!

  • Omg my kids do that too. They always think im laughing at thier work but when its covered in peens and things that look like dancing vag I cant help it.

  • I once had a slightly older daughter’s drawing that she had made for a friend with the words “wud you lik to cum?” Blogged it, very interesting search terms resulted!!!

  • Oh I’ll take a seat in that air conditioned compartment, please. This gasoline underwear stings.

  • My daughter once painted a picture of her father in kindergarten. He was, apparently, naked and had a “tail”… I nearly died of embarrassment and /or laughter! Teacher didn’t bat an eye.