In thinking about how the world is changing around us and the future and what it might have in store for everyone who lives on our strange little planet- I think something important to do is look to the past. I’m not talking about anything important, or even significant in the big fat grand scheme of things- but looking back at the little things in our own childhood and the ones our children (if we have them) are living today.
What the hell did we do back then that made us so carefree and loving and … well… happy? If we could find the kind of joy our children or even ourselves found when we were- in the stupid ass shit we used to and they do now… I think we would be much happier adults.
Cheer yourself on after a big poop. Kids seem to think it’s something to celebrate, and I’d bet older folks do too- so why wait? A nice pat on the back for getting that colon clear.
Put some pillows on the floor and jump off the couch onto them. Pretend the floor is lava. Make a pillow fort and have a picnic in it.
Ride a mattress down the fucking stairs.
Blow bubbles and jump like a madman (or woman) to pop them. Who cares how ridiculous you look?
Sit in a chair and spin until you want to hurl, but laugh instead as the room keeps spinning even when you’ve stopped. If you have a chair with adjustable settings- lift it all the way up, put your feet out, pull the level and float back down like a feather.
Dunk a cookie in milk until it falls apart.
Eat with your hands and play with your food.
Lay in the grass and look at the clouds. Ignore the bugs you never knew were in the grass before but now are paranoid about as an adult.
Swing on a tire swing, go down a slide. Jump. Go across the monkey bars until your old ass arm hurts and you think you might have blisters. They’ll heal.
Jump rope, Skip-It, Bop-It, Hide and seek, go down a slip and slide and play tag. And don’t let the kids win.
I’m serious here- do one of these. Do SOMETHING that kid you, or your kids would love- and love it like you did or they do now. Not long ago, I whooped the kids playing Hungry Hungry Hippos- they might have been pissed off, and I may have bruised the palm of my hand- but It was silly mindless fun. I haven’t felt that young and carefree since birthing these crotchfruits into this world.
Now, don’t be thinking this will reverse time or be better than botox for your weathered face- but sometimes it’s all about how you FEEL.
Life is short. We don’t know when it will end- so why not be as immature as humanly possible while we still can? I often feel like the magic of childhood is gone because I’m not a child- but really it’s because my brain doesn’t want to LET me be a child. My brain is convinced my age is my age and I should be doing things that other people my age do.
Those few and sparing moments where I’m just having a blast doing something so silly and childish are some of the best ones. The bills and the stresses can wait for an hour. I’m going to go ride Parker’s red scooter of death until I flip it and hurt my ass-bone again.
What you REALLY need to make Holiday (or ANY) Travel Bearable goo.gl/fb/1BdFtj
Other moms: I finished Christmas shopping for my kids in June! Me: pic.twitter.com/FT3tlWGWd2
@CJPendragon learn something new every day!
@WeberWriting Absolutely. It takes a bit of time and juggling but it is 100% doable. Just have to ignore the sanctimommies of the world
Don't feel bad for tossing frozen chicken strips in the oven and calling it dinner. Don't even feel bad if you don't turn them over. holdinholden.com/2016/05/shit…
To the piece of crap who broke into my car over the weekend- You think you found nothing of value to steal, but you actually took with you the nasty head cold my family has been passing around in that very vehicle for the past week. Enjoy, scumbag! xoxo, Germ Infested SUV
The “Are You Ready to Have Kids?” Checklist of Doom goo.gl/fb/DTPJ1A
If anyone asks how I died, you can just go ahead and tell them "she was lured in by free pie in exchange for listening to 2nd graders screech Thanksgiving songs for 30 minutes"