There’s really no point in dancing around this, so I’m just gonna come right out and say it. If you like it, you like it. If you don’t, oh well.
There, I said it. I feel a little bit better now. Time outs are STUPID.
I have been lead to believe over the course of my life that the purpose of a time out is to make a child sit in a specific room or spot and think about what they have done so that they don’t do it again. Lemme tell ya- my ass went to time out plenty of times when I was a kid and not a single damn time did I EVER think about what I had done. What did I think about? I thought about how much I hated time outs. About how my mom was an evil overlord. I thought about all the things I could be doing instead of being in time out. NEVER once did I think “Hmm, well maybe I shouldn’t have ridden down the stairs in my sleeping bag and slammed into the wall at the bottom the fifth time my mother warned me not to”- nope. I thought about how fantastically AWESOME that shit was and how next time I was going to do it head first.
What? Are you thinking I was a bad kid? I was a GOOD kid. My brother was the bad one and I saw the shitload of trouble he got in and decided I did NOT want that to be me. I only ever got sit to the principals office once. Never suspended. Never in any real trouble. I was a sassy little brat, but my actions were still decent.
If not to make a child think about what they have done- then what purpose does a time out serve? Just to take them away from what they were doing as a punishment? Okay, I can see the value in that- but what fun is that for ME? The parent? No, seriously- I’d like to know.
The child is being punished because he or she did something I told them not to do. They broke MY rule- so shouldn’t a time out be not only a punishment to them, but a reprieve for me? You know, a little break as to say “alright, you’ve put up with enough shit for today. So here’s a time out for you to be able to collect your thoughts before having to go and put up with even more shit”?
NO? Don’t tell me no. The answer here should be yes.
The answer SHOULD be yes, but it is not. How is this fair, exactly? We punish these turds for disobeying whatever it is we specifically instructed them not to be doing or saying or touching or throwing- most likely MULTIPLE times- and put their asses into a corner or a chair or a spot on the floor- and maybe it’s just the creatures that crawled out of my lady bits a few short years ago- but this time out is NO time out at ALL for me. Time out becomes game ON. You see- I learned quick in this game that sending them to their rooms only let them go and sit up there and PLAY with shit without mommy nagging them. While there was silence to be had- this was not teaching them any kind of lesson for disobeying. It was like rewarding them. Oh hell no. That is when I started putting baby in the cor
So, here’s the deal- I have a new time out proposal that I think will serve us parents MUCH better- because it is all about us after all. Sorry Mr. Swayze- and may you rest in peace.
This corner deal sucks, though. It sucks a lot.
Screaming crying, calling my name, verbal pouting, asking how much longer over and over and over and over- boogering and and the occasional stomping of feet- all within ear range. If it’s just one child in trouble, the other proceeds to mess with him; this only leads to more crying and questioning and complaining- which around here means time out has to start all over again. This should be more of a punishment for the child- but really it’s more a punishment for the PARENT- because after dealing with their shit and having to punish them (and I don’t know about you, but I’d really rather NOT have to in the first place)- I should get a REAL time out. Not them! A time out from all the disobedience and whining and crying- time out should mean TIME THE FUCK OUT. Pause. FREEZE!
From now on- I say when the kids are acting like raging maniacs- we put ourselves in time outs where we cannot acknowledge anyone who speaks to us or speak a single word until it is over.
Oh, and just like the kids- the time out’s length will be equal to our age. That’s one way to make getting older work in our favor! Plus, can you imagine the looks on their faces when we’ve finally had enough and say those 5 dreaded words: “Okay, that’s it! Time out!” and walk ourselves to the corner, plop down, and not say a word? They would shit their pants. That alone might be worth it.
Who’s with me?
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