I love my kids, but…

There comes a point during every single month where I just feel the uncontrollable urge to rant. I can’t stop it. My body and brain take over my fingers and unleash upon the interweb for the world to read, like it or not. I’ve tried to stop it- OH how I have tried… but eventually, we all give in. It must be done. If it is not done on occassion, we explode. Kind of like an infected bladder (okay, I don’t really know if bladders DO in fact explode… I kinda doubt it. But go with me here). It’s best just to pee regularly and keep things normal. Even. Balanced.
This monthly rantiness has nothing to do with the rising and falling tides of my uterus. Nope. That’s my story and I’m sticking to it. Don’t even ask! Just sit back and enjoy it- for the wrath is not aimed at you. Well, maybe…

I don’t like to beat a dead horse- I mean, after a while that thing starts decaying and then you get dead horse on your shoe- and I love shoes too much to cover them in liquefied animal insides- so no, I don’t like to do it… but sometimes that horse is stuffed and you can kick it as many fucking times as you want and your shoe stays awesome. It’s an awesome horse kicking shoe. A really annoying horse with a broken voicebox that won’t shut the hell up and someone has to do SOMETHING and that someone is gonna be you. I mean me- today that someone is me.

This loud obnoxious stuffed horse we speak of that I chance scuffing up some cute shoes on? Anyone who chooses to respond to a parent who is simply venting about their child’s daily antics with negativity.
While I’m okay with kicking the obnoxious stuffed horse with a nice pair of FMHs- I am really getting tired of saying certain things over and over again. BUT- I have made it my cause, my steam- I have let the slight anger I get over having to repeat this shit to the judgy idiots who inhabit this world become my motivation. For if they are there saying it, I will be there dropkicking them in the face. And if I wanna say my kid is being a terror, I will fucking SAY it. And you should be able to too. Without snap judgment.

“Well, if you call them a ‘terror’ you must be an unfit parent.”
Oh really? Must I, now? Here all this time I just thought it was my sense of humor and way to let off a little steam at things that frustrate me- oh my, how I have been wrong all of this time!

Contrary to a small narrow minded view of life and parenthood-

Just because I call my kids ‘terrors’- does not mean I do not love them. It just means I’m not afraid to admit how I feel and hopefully am raising children who are open with their feelings as well.
That’s right- I love them AND I can call them a terror, and I don’t see anything wrong with that. Truth is truth is truth no matter how you sugarcoat it. So why bother?

I love my kids- but they CAN be bad, and they are damn good at it.

I love my kids- but sometimes they are SO bad I threaten to sell them online. And yes, I think it’s funny to say so. This does not mean I’m actually offering them up to you, and it certainly does not give you the right to judge me as any less of a parent. My kids will have a sense of humor because I have a sense of humor with them- yeah, even the bad stuff.

I love my kids- but I have no problem being a “mean mommy.” I am their mother first, and their friend later.

I love my kids- but they are NOT perfect. Neither am I. I’m okay with that, why aren’t you?

Saying that my kids are terrible a times, assholes at other, are being so bratty that I am considering selling them on Craigslist does not mean I do not love them- it means that I am honest with them and myself about how hard parenthood is. It means that I am not ashamed to feel and express what I’m feeling, and not afraid to call them on their shit. It means we have a mutual respect of honesty and openness in this house. It means we have a mutual respect of each other, as a whole. As people, as family members, as soul mates.
Having bad moments does not make us bad mothers or fathers. Having rough days where we swear we’re going to lose our fucking minds doesn’t mean we love our children any less. And being able to say all of those things out loud when others are too afraid to express it doesn’t make us less or more of parents than them. Or you. Or me.

I LOVE my kids. That is what is important. Love. The never fading, never questioning, never faltering, eternal kind. So why the hell do you care about what I say?

Posted on February 21, 2013 by Holdin' Holden 14 Comments
Holdin' Holden

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  • Being honest about the shortcomings of our children is just as important as recognizing the positive. They need to know that we all have them and we all have ‘work’ to do on ourselves. The parents who see no wrong in their children are not doing them or anyone anyone else any favors. Vent on, my friend!

  • I have threatened my kids by telling them I was going to sell them to the Gypsies… I love my kids to the moon and back but I don’t have to like them all the time (especially when they are being terror’s).

  • people think calling your kids terrorist makes you a bad parent? Wow then I am terrible! I call my kids tiny terrorist daily and tell them to go play because you are driving me insane! I have 3 kids and I am a sahm I do not get a break from my kids. I don’t care who you are, you spend all day in the house with someone every single day. You are going to get on each others nerves lol.

  • totally know where you are coming from i love my son but there are days when he is such a pain in the ass and i can not help but threaten to hang him up by his toes from a ceiling fan he just giggles and keeps doing the next pain in the ass thing lol but i never do i just pick him up and make him giggle more

  • It’s called a sense of humor and it keeps each and every parent sane. Or, it should. The ones who don’t have a sense of humor are gonna lose it one day and it won’t be pretty.

  • Ain’t that the freakin truth, I tell the ex I need a break from our 4yr old and all of a sudden I don’t want to be a parent and I dont want him and I dont love him, honestly I’d give my last breath for both my children but sometimes I need a breather, I need to eat a meal without telling someone to sit down and eat, I need to sleep in, I need freaking help….glad I’m not alone… rant on honey it helps us all…love the hilarious spin you put on things reminds me I’m not alone

  • To all the judgy McJudgerson, perfect parents:
    What’s that expression??? “Children learn what they live and live what they learn”??? In teaching our children, by our example, that is ok to say/express their feelings rather than stuffing them is healthy!! The kids that learn to stuff grow up not knowing how to do this…..this can lead to a kid SNAPPING……resulting in violence, school shooting, murder/suicides, suicide, and or legal problems….OR even drug abuse, alcoholism, self hurting….so who’s the UNFIT PARENT now???

  • AMEN!

    That is one of the reasons that I love this blog so much…

    I don’t feel alone in the… I love my son, but he’s the devil sometimes…

    Anyone who thinks we are unfit should shine a mirror on their parenting…

    Glass houses and all that jazz…

    Can you sell your kid on Craigslist? hmmmmmmmmmm………….

  • Parenting is hard…really, really hard. Kids will make you feel every emotional on this Earth, however, as long as your love is more powerful than all other emotions then you are on the right track! If their weren’t bad times, we wouldn’t appreciate the good times. I say rant on, it always makes you feel a sense of release to express how you feel. I love your blog, it lets me know I’m not alone in my day to day life, experiences, thoughts, actions, ect. What you say is reality…some ppl may candy coat it but no one can say they have not thought their kids were downright hellyens at some point…or everyday like mine are. 🙂 I appreciate your honesty and humor…great way to end my day. I can laugh with you and feel your pain usually at the same time. You are awesome!

  • I was at the doctors office with my daughter a year or so ago and I was just watching her play…then she said something to me and so my natural response was to tell her that she was a turd. I suppose that some elderly lady found this to be offensive for some ungodly reason because she actually went in for her appointment before me and bitched to my doctor that I had infact called my child a turd. Really?!? How in the world is that even remotley close to being offensive to you? I mean, yeah if I called you a turd, whatever I can see your anger in that. But this was my spawn of satan and I say that will love in my heart. She is mine and if I feel like telling her that she is a turd sometimes, although she knows I’m joking because she laughs uncontrollably, you bet your sweet cheeks I’ll call her a turd. I don’t know what it is, but a small childs laugh just brightens my day. But anyways, I see this as being the same as calling your child a “terror” it’s not offensive, if that is how they are acting they should be called on it. The government would call you out if they believed you in fact were acting like a “terriost” therefore we as parents should be able to call our children out if they are acting as “turds” or “terrors” because I don’t care how perfect anyones children are (or how far we choose to believe they are perfect and can do no wrong), deep down we all know they have their moments.

  • I agree with you 200%

    I didn’t know we could sell them on Craigslist… all these years I have been threatening to give mine away to the Gypsies….

  • I have 3 boys and let me tell you I have threatened to tape them to the furniture, sell them to the gypsies, called them terrors, brats and Im sure worse. My boys are 24,16 & 8. They are smart, caring and have an amazing sense of humor. I don’t see a problem with letting your children know that parents are people. We make mistakes, we get afraid, we are proud, angry, excited etc. If you only ever praise your little angels, how on earth are they ever going to know what is expected from them in the real world? I am all for praise as long as it is tempered with honesty and expectations.
    Parenting is “fun” and your kids should enjoy you doing it.

  • Unfortunatly… There will always be judgmental ass-suckers moaning and groaning about every word you say. One of the glories of blogging. They will never stop. The amazing thing is, howevrr, is neither will you. Your strong-willed and sassy . And we love it. So for anyone who doesn’t…. Get the thorny stick out of your ass and read someone elses blog. Ya know the ones that’ only talk about how perfect life is. And if you can’t find one, that’s because there is no such thing as a prefect life. Just like there is no such thing as a child that is not a little “terror”

  • I was foolish and had three children before I was 21. Now I’m 70 and couldn’t imagine doing it any other way. You have to be young and foolish to think that babies will always be cute little angels in clean clothes. It is a dirty job. They puke and poop and pee on you. They tell lies and get in trouble at school and on the corner. They are mine to have and to hold until they decide they don’t need me any more . About the time you can have a conversation with them ,they realize you aren’t all that and move on .
    But my door and my heart are always here for them. We are family. There were times I would go for a drive and swear I was never coming back,
    but I did .
    Then just as I had them all in school and out of the house, we decided that one more angel was waiting for us in heaven and had chosen to be our angel. The baby everyone would want and love. She didn’t have to walk or talk for ever because someone was always there to get her what she wanted and carry her anyplace she wanted to go.
    Now I have four almost grown grandchildren. I have to let them grow up too.
    And yes ,the gypsies were called more than once to come take them away. My mother always said the gypsies were smarter than that.