Alright- before the butthurt sets in- take the title of this blog with a grain of salt. A giant one. Ever heard of tongue in cheek? Generalization? Humor? Sarcasm? Go with all of those.
Now that we have that out of the way- let’s do this.
There were many reasons I had years ago for my stance that I “never wanted kids”– and not a single one of them had anything to do with blowing out my vagina. It should have… but ahhh, to be young and naive!
I vividly recall my childless self in public places hearing little ones screeching like their ass was on fire for seemingly no reason at all and thinking “holy fuck. I NEVER want that. Get it away!”
You know. That face.
|Yes. THIS face. This was me. Only with more hair and
immensely better groomed eyebrows.
All children were obnoxious little creatures that wet themselves and forced someone else to clean it up. Don’t judge me- I just wasn’t a child lover. Some people aren’t! Some people NEVER want kids for a multitude of reasons. I thought mine would be that I couldn’t stand them. I couldn’t stand them so much that I never a single time babysat- even though I looooooved money growing up- it wasn’t worth having to make that face.
I am weak pic.twitter.com/LYdRQ6EZcC
You know that feeling when you don't chew a chip all the way and it cuts you all the way down and you swear it's gonna kill you, but you go ahead have another right after? That's what it's like when you decide to have another kid.
For any parent who's ever had a kid who thinks they're more grown up than they are... and proves themselves wrong-- this story is for you holdinholden.com/2017/12/10-g…
@The_Mrs_Ward It's definitely a step out of the comfort zone but once you dip a toe in, it's hard to go back!
Out with the old, in with the pink! pic.twitter.com/plm0ogzPLf
10 Going on 20: The Spicy Chicken Story goo.gl/fb/qqm3FZ
'Tis the season to return a gift given to you and have the uncontrollable urge to buy more crap for your kids with the money.