Alright- before the butthurt sets in- take the title of this blog with a grain of salt. A giant one. Ever heard of tongue in cheek? Generalization? Humor? Sarcasm? Go with all of those.
Now that we have that out of the way- let’s do this.
There were many reasons I had years ago for my stance that I “never wanted kids”– and not a single one of them had anything to do with blowing out my vagina. It should have… but ahhh, to be young and naive!
I vividly recall my childless self in public places hearing little ones screeching like their ass was on fire for seemingly no reason at all and thinking “holy fuck. I NEVER want that. Get it away!”
You know. That face.
|Yes. THIS face. This was me. Only with more hair and
immensely better groomed eyebrows.
All children were obnoxious little creatures that wet themselves and forced someone else to clean it up. Don’t judge me- I just wasn’t a child lover. Some people aren’t! Some people NEVER want kids for a multitude of reasons. I thought mine would be that I couldn’t stand them. I couldn’t stand them so much that I never a single time babysat- even though I looooooved money growing up- it wasn’t worth having to make that face.
Get on it, oil people!! pic.twitter.com/xgXSB34uGf
The 10 Funniest Parenting Memes of the Week goo.gl/fb/zLqV6k
Husband (grating cheese): It's just so big and awkward I can't get my hand around it Me: .......... that's what she said #imthematureone
You know you're a mom when your husband sends a text asking what you need from the store & you reply "The only thing I need is sanity."
Me: Man, my toy allergy eyes are bad today Kids: What? Me: Yeah,if I see any of your crap on my floor I'll have a reaction and THROW IT AWAY
@AmericHousewife it's cute you think I'll survive to them turning that age!
Oh, you're really in for it! pic.twitter.com/xXzFxhlxRJ
Spring into Spring-a-Palooza at Great Wolf lodge! goo.gl/fb/Ey9QEb