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Kids get a bad rap: A note to the childless child haters

Two weeks ago, I uploaded a video to YouTube of a weirdo parody song I wrote in hopes of getting Ellen DeGeneres’ attention so that maybe possibly I would have the tiniest margin of a chance of getting on her show. Crazy, right? I thought so too. I had no idea and still really don’t know whether it will do anything- but I had a fun time making it, and it seemed that people were having a really fun time watching it.
Even if it didn’t “work”, so to speak, I had a good time doing it and made a few people laugh and so no matter what- it was a worthwhile pursuit. 
Or if we want to shorten my reasoning: Why the hell NOT?
Well, it’s all shits and giggles until someone shits on your giggles. 
I am not new to negativity or ugly comments. They don’t even hurt my feelings. Any time I happen to bring one up, I always get the same questions- “Why? Why not just let it go?”
Good question, my friends- truly it is. Usually I do. Usually I just delete it and go about my day as if nothing ever happened. Haters gonna hate, right? Right. 
Occasionally, though, I get a comment that rubs me the wrong way and brings up a bigger point that I feel the need to bring up. If I don’t- who will? That’s like sending a child to time out without telling them why. Half the time- they’ll never have any idea if you don’t inform them exactly why.
Also- sometimes I just get in a mood.
Today I’m creeping along, checking out the comments section of my video- when I come across this gem:
Before you ask- no, I did not let this person have it. I didn’t lay into them- and I’m not going to here today (although that might be amusing.)

If you have not seen the video in question- watch it here:

Dear Anonymous commenter, and to others who choose not to have “spawn” of their own,
Thank you for your comment on my video about why a Mommy-Blogger and other Mommy-Bloggers should be on The Ellen DeGeneres show. 
It isn’t that I don’t understand your disdain. I assume you don’t have children of your own, or I would sure hope not with how you refer to those that don’t belong to you.
Before I had little ones of my own, I too, had a disdain for little ones. They run, they scream, they cry. They can be incredibly frustrating to deal with, and perhaps you don’t understand how we parents can just “let” a child scream and cry in public and do nothing about it. Trust me- I get it! Kids even annoy me sometimes and I happen to have two of them. It takes a special kind of person to become a teacher when you don’t have kids of your own. Patience of a saint. It’s not a detriment to your personality or your character if you don’t have kids, or have chosen not to. While I personally don’t know that my life would have felt complete without having children, that is a very sensitive and serious life-altering decision to make- and it isn’t for everyone. 
That is none of my business, and I wouldn’t judge you if that were to be the case. It’s your life, not mine.
With that being said- what exactly compelled you to leave a comment on a video that had lyrics really only having to do with being a parent- that my child is “incredibly annoying”? What else did you expect? Am I supposed to lock my children in their rooms in order to record this video to appease your personal tastes? Was he supposed to sit silently in the background instead of having a good time? Should I have snapped at them to shut up, or let them crack out in front of the TV so I could get through one take without them in it… even though the song was about them? 
Since when did having a good time become annoying? It’s not like the kid was standing behind me screeching “MOOOOMMMMMYYYY! I’M HUNGRRRRYYYYYYYY! MOMMY! MOM! MAMA! MOMMY! MOMMY LISTEN TO ME NOW!”– that I could see as annoying. I realize I am biased as the “spawn” in the video came from my nethers, but even in an objective sense, that comes nowhere close to the level of “annoying” kids can be. Even on a GOOD day. 
I guess you could say I’m a tad confused, anonymous commenter.
Yes, this is the internet, where anyone is allowed to say anything they want to anyone they want- but what ever happened to respect? Or tact? 
The one thing I learned as a child from my parents, and I have carried on as a parent to my own children (and trust me, realizing that all those years my parents were right was not an easy pill to swallow) is that just because you can say something, doesn’t mean you should. You know that old saying “If you don’t have anything nice to say, don’t say anything at all?”– yeah. That. They taught me to respect and treat others how I myself would want to be treated- and that is something I pride myself on now as a person. Just because someone is different than me; perhaps they made different life choices or are choosing to raise their children differently than me- doesn’t give me the right to be outwardly nasty. And really, what would the point in that be? What purpose does it serve to criticize not only another person, but another person’s child? And what kind of person does that make you?
It’s one thing to disagree with someone or their choices- it’s another to be rude and disparaging; why be mean? Really, I’m curious. Why?
Furthermore- if you think THAT is an example of an “incredibly annoying” child… man I really hope you don’t or have not already procreated.
So, you don’t like kids. Or you don’t want kids. That’s all fine and dandy- but don’t think you have the right or the knowledge to be able to make assumptions or judgement on something you have no idea about, being that you lack the experience of raising another human being and therefore couldn’t possibly understand what it is like making sure someone else is nurtured but not coddled, cared for but not smothered, and most of all loved. I sure hope that I raise my children to know better and to have more respect for strangers than to call their children annoying, or to refer to them as “spawn” (which obviously was meant to be derogatory in the context it was used in.)
Basically what I’m telling you is to live your life the way you want, and I’ll live mine the way I want- and we don’t have to agree, but it would be nice to have a little mutual respect. And for future reference- you may want to refrain from criticizing a small child. The wrath of a pissed off mother is one unequaled by anything else on this planet. Consider that fair warning.
Signed,
Parents
P.S.- When you have to follow up a rude comment with “I’m really not a horrible person”– perhaps that’s guilt telling you that you just might be.
Posted on December 18, 2012 by Holdin' Holden 20 Comments
Holdin' Holden

About Holdin' Holden

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20 Comments

  • JEnny your a rock star. Thanks for the awesome blog. People without kids shouldn’t judge people that do. And you were very cordial dealing with this jerk head troll.

  • I LOVE this post. I, myself, have four kids and I will be the first to admit – they can be annoying as all hell at times and I’d like to lock MYSELF in the bedroom for some quiet, but in spite of that, I love them and what they essentially add to my life. Your BEAUTIFUL son was just adding some more spice to the video. I should add, I have shared your video and I vow that if you do appear on Ellen, I WILL be in that audience, as I am a mommy blogger myself!!

  • It boggles my mind to think that people have the wherewithal to make such biased and rude comments to people, I have never been able to see why one feels one must put down others. Its a sad day when you have to hide behind an anon tag, i am almost certain people wouldnt say half the things they say on the internet if they had to do so publicly. But I digress, mostly i wanted to tell you though i found your blog only recently it is highly entertaining and makes you think. Bravo! You keep posting and I’ll keep reading!

    Jay

  • Wow…gotta love the douchebags. Kids are annoying, it’s a fact of life as a parent. But that does not mean it is even remotely appropriate for a childless person to say that to a parent. Especially on something that was intended to be specifically about children. I thought I had seen it all.

    BTW, I have 2 children of my own and am a soon to be stepmom to 2 other children…I am well aware of how annoying our spawn can be. EEK!

  • Why would someone without kids read a blog about raising kids? And by the way your son was practically motionless compared to my son when he was that age. He was never still for more than 3 seconds. She must not have much of a life

  • No offense but, Holden was my favorite part, I think he is hysterical!! That person was a giant douche…and your video ROCKS!! It has to work!!!

  • I LOVE this!! very classy response as well as very clear, GREAT job!! I love your blogs, they are one thing that I can’t think, “oh, I’ll read that in a little while” whenever i see them referenced in rants & giggles, I have to read them NOW!! You are awesome!! (and why hasn’t Ellen called yet? sheesh!!)

  • Well said. I thought the kids added a little something to the video myself. It’s kinda silly to complain about kids in a video that features a song about kids.

  • I loved the video and your response to that comment about annoying children was awesome. Some people just don’t seem to understand the concept of shutting their mouths when their two cent’s worth is rude and unnecessary. I don’t know what ever happened to not saying anything when you have nothing nice to say. It’s not that complicated to just not comment. I think your little one is adorable and behaved well during the video. My child interrupts and annoys way more on a good day. 🙂 Keep on keepin’ on and I know we will see you on Ellen soon. 🙂

  • For the record. I think your “spawn” made the video better, not worse.

  • “The more people I meet, the more I like my dog”. I should have that on every one of my shirts LOL This goes for online and off…..people think they have the right to say what they want, thinking they are being funny, when in reality its just cruel. Your son is hilarious (almost as much as you), and that commenter can just shove it. Where the sun don’t shine, even 🙂

  • Ha. I’ve met the aforementioned spawn, and they are nowhere near annoying! I loved seeing him in the video and thought that it was a perfect addition.

    Your kids are awesome, and so are you. Haters gonna’ hate, period. I still loves you. <3

  • yeah, kids can be annoying. However, I find that kids are also vastly entertaining. People who don’t have kids who disdain others with kids tend to irk me, because they think their opinions should be taken as teh gospel. I used to love to unleash my daughter on folks like your commentor, usually in her “Marysatan” mode. (Her name is Maryangel) Your Holden comes up with some neato comments..My Maryangel gave voice to some definite rib splitters when she was young (she still does, tho at 18, she has had plenty of time to learn to hone the pithier ones). If she was in one of her “Marysatan” moods, she could really cut loose. Stupid non-kid having folks who said stupid stuff like that person did got the full effect of her and then “The Look” from me. They usually slunk off, tail between legs. Rock on. Your video was great. ME

  • I don’t have children, but I would NEVER do what this person did….Jenny more power to you for handling it so diplomatically I would have taken their head off.

  • I freaking love that lettet

  • Great letter- its funny how the internet has somehow led every jerk in the world to believe that they can say whatever they want . Mostly i believe they must be terrible cowards hiding behind a computer screen. Like to see one make that comment to a mother/ father face to face.

  • “you may want to refrain from criticizing a small child. The wrath of a pissed off mother is one unequaled by anything else on this planet. Consider that fair warning.” — that quote I love and I will steal and make you an e card :)! But tomorrow because I have to sleep my two girl spawn will be up before I know it.. Loved the blog

  • I LOVED the video, and having the kids there in the background just made me feel like it brings your blog home, showing what parents deal with every day while trying to do something.

  • VeryThat was awesome! Very well said. You really do rock, Jenny!!