I’m not going to beat around the bush with this business:
I want to be on The Ellen DeGeneres show.
Boom. There. I said it. By now I would think most of you are aware of this- what with all the ridiculous photos I’ve made of myself “on” her show and the posts on my page. If you aren’t aware of this epic mission of sorts… I’m not sure if you’re lucky or unlucky. I’ve been…. persistent- to put it mildly.
|Yes. This is…. “mild”…|
If I don’t ever make it onto Ellen’s show- it most certainly won’t be for a lack of trying, but I got to thinking yesterday about what ELSE I could be doing, and that’s when it hit me.
I, a mommy blogger, want to get on Ellen’s show. I have made over 30 ridiculous pictures. I’ve bugged her on Twitter. I’ve had a wave of people write into her, some even multiple times…. but what had I NOT done? I hadn’t blogged about it. Derrrr.
A blogger who hasn’t blogged on a dream of theirs? Talk about an oversight.
It’s been hard to clearly explain WHY I want to be on her show through a few short Facebook posts- and the pictures are just made to hopefully get me noticed. I would bet a lot of people assume I want to be on TV because I’m a loudmouthed attention whore, others might think I just want to be on TV and crack jokes about poop and parenthood- and while I can’t completely deny any of that, the truth is so much more.
Even when writing in to Ellen myself (which I do quite often), I am limited to 1500 characters. I am wordy (you might call it verbal and finger diarrhea) and I have trouble condensing myself, my purpose, and my message down to just a few short paragraphs- but I thought I would share with you one of the letters I sent in:
My name is Jenny Schoberl, and I am a stay at home mom.
Maybe you or someone on your team has heard of me as the weird chick behind the blog Holdin’ Holden, or seen any of the photoshopped pictures I made.I have wonderful readers that have written to ask you to have me on your show. I thought that I should write to you again myself to explain why *I* want to be on your show.
It’s not that I think I deserve it over any other person or want the attention. It’s not even just that it’s a dream of mine and I think it would be funny.
I want to be on your show because when I started writing my blog- I felt alone. I was ridiculed and made to feel like I was less of a parent because of how I chose to raise my children, and the fact that when they are being turds I am not afraid to say so.
When my youngest son was born and became ill is when my life changed forever. A group of women online disagreed with how I chose to handle his illness so much they tried to have him taken from me. I was bullied for months. It was then I decided to write and self-publish a book on my experiences.
Women have come to me and told me that finally they don’t feel alone either, because they went through similar things.
I want to spread the message that having fun with parenthood, venting, speaking your mind isn’t bad. Parenthood is hard enough-we should support each other.
I would be honored to advocate against mom-bullying on your show. To tell my story and help shine a light on this issue.”
Obviously, there is SO much more I’d like to say.
If you’ve been around my page long enough, or if you’ve read my book– you know my story. You know how strongly I feel against parents (moms especially) crapping all over each other, and how often I address it. Being a self-published author was a decision I personally made, not one I was forced into- but while it lends me a lot of freedoms it also does limit how far my message gets.
When it comes to the bad things that have happened to me- I have always strived to try and SOMEHOW turn it into a positive situation. Even though I don’t like to talk about what I went through (and it wasn’t easy writing about it in my book)- if I can help others through speaking out about it- then everything I went through was worth it.
Of course I want to go on The Ellen DeGeneres show because I love Ellen and think she’s an amazing person and it would be a dream come true. Of course I think it would be a hysterical show- but the core of my message, even when cracking jokes about turds or announcing that my kids are stinky a-holes- has been acceptance. Acceptance that we parents will never all agree with one another, and that’s okay. Acceptance that just because someone does something differently doesn’t make them wrong and you right or vice-versa. Acceptance that there is no one “right” way to raise a child. Acceptance of the fact that being HONEST (sometimes even brutally) about the not-so positive parents of parenthood and being able to laugh about it later, or even just venting isn’t a bad thing.
Mom-bullying happens SO often, and no one ever talks about it. I think it’s high time someone does and gives a voice to those who have been stomped on. Why not on a show that advocates against bullying already?
|C’mon, you know this took skillz.|
Am I the most qualified for the job? Who the hell knows- but I’ve been there- and I’m here now. Plus, I think even though the message is serious- it WOULD be really funny. Not that I’m biased or anything… but I did in fact promise in one of my (not at ALL photoshopped) photos that I’d play the marshmallow game. That alone should be enough to secure me a spot.
I have always believed there is power in numbers- and one voice may not be heard in a sea of voices- but if there are many saying the same thing, there’s only so long they can be ignored.
If you believe in my mission, or if I’ve ever helped you to realize you’re NOT crazy, or alone, or a bad parent. If I’ve made you giggle-snort, or even just feel a little bit better. If you’ve EVER been bullied by another parent and think this crap needs to be kicked out into the open- if you could take a few minutes out of your evening (or day) and send Ellen a letter asking her to have me on her show and why.
Hell, even if you just want to see me make an ass of myself (I’m pretty good at that.)
I have absolutely no intention on giving up until either she calls me and tells me to cut it the hell out, invites me to come on- or files a restraining order (I kid, I kid)
Please don’t put MY information in the form or it will just look like I’m submitting myself with a bunch of different letters and styles of writing and then that whole restraining order joke really WILL happen- with a lovely addition of a straight-jacket.
I truly do appreciate all of the help and support and cheering on in my (slightly insane) mission to get on Ellen’s show. Thank you all!
The links to use are below!
@DianeAuten I'm so glad you're enjoying it!
I don't know what I want for dinner, but I can guarantee it's not any of the 14 things my husband will suggest.
@ThisIsAstartes Best worst little shits on the planet.
What's that smell? A lot of pants on fire. pic.twitter.com/bVK0FnJgeB
I'm officially done parenting. Here's how I did it: holdinholden.com/2018/01/im-o…
I’m Officially Finished Parenting. Here’s how I did it goo.gl/fb/TBJQPJ