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I’m a palm reader! Or a nutbar… but check out my crystal ball!

It’s been a while since the paranormal (cue OOooOooOOh sound) has been mentioned around here, but that doesn’t mean it’s been forgotten.

Shockingly, although my life has been one strange event after another (so much so that my next book will be on it), it’s been oddly quiet around this usually not-so-quiet house. No bumps or thumps in the night, no magical uterus tossing toys around, or children claiming there are people living under their beds, or having angry conversations with … well… no one, no words scratched into the floors, nothing! So much nothing that it was a little too much nothing, if you ask me.

Now, I don’t know what your beliefs are, and to be honest I don’t much care. Not because I don’t respect other people, absolutely I do, but because I know that I haven’t been imagining the past 27 years. I know what i’ve seen- and no matter whether or not people believe in ghosts, the afterlife, spirits, poltergeists or vortexes to a parallel universe or the fiery pits of hell- it can’t be taken from me.

I BELIEVE IN GHOSTS. Yep, i’m not even slightly ashamed of it. I not only believe in them, but i’ve seen them. I am sure of a lot of things in life, and this is one of them. I most certainly didn’t spend years of sleepless nights due to brain trickery and eyeball suckiness. Not even mental defect, since I have witnesses I can be pretty damn sure of that.

Kind of like the calm before the storm, I knew that because it was SO quiet, that meant that when the activity did return, it was going to be something even bigger than usual. Don’t look at me like I have 4 eyes, if you have EVER in your life experienced any kind of paranormal activity (and we’re not talking about that crap-ass totally unrealistic to most hauntings movie), you know that i’m not just trying to blow smoke up your ass. I just knew, kind of like a 6th sense, that something was coming down the pike.
What that was, whether it be more creepy hand prints, scratches in the carpet, footsteps down the hallway, moving chairs? Not a damn clue.

This might make you think I am even more crazy if i’ve already lost you down that path- but I have always considered myself a sensitive. Not a psychic, who can see, talk, or feel the dead (sometimes a combination), not an empath who just feels their emotions, but a sensitive: someone who just has a thinner veil when it comes to knowing there is something else in the room when they are seemingly all alone. I’m more likely to experience paranormal activity. Why me? I don’t know, it’s always been this way. Many children are incredibly sensitive and eventually grow out of it or close the curtain when they’re told repeatedly that ghosts just don’t exist. It’s a mix of belief and natural ‘ability.’

Thomas does experience things in this house, but not nearly as often as I do. And considering that i’m too much of a big fat fucking baby who’s afraid of the dark- I only experience things here since I don’t do ‘Ghost Hunting’- y’know, plus I really like sleep.

Friday night, bath time. It was Thomas’ turn to bathe the kids. I’m trailing behind him on the stairs when I hear him call to me, “Why is the bathroom window open?”
This isn’t a new question to me. When we moved in, the window would open OVER and over again. We tried debunking it by jumping on the floor (y’know, like the asshat kids who won’t stop jumping around like wild fucking animals) and it wouldn’t budge. We would shut it hard, lock it- and it would somehow unlock itself and open again. That somehow should have been a sign, but I suppose it had happened so much before I didn’t give it much thought.

On Saturday morning, Thomas the kids and myself drove up to Richmond to meet with some other bloggers and visit the historic Hollywood Cemetery. Yeah, I know, a cemetery! SO FUN FOR KIDS! My kids are weird, they were excited. I had not stepped food into one since my mother’s memorial service- not that it bothered me to enter one- but because in nearly 10 years I had no idea what really to expect. Especially since I had learned to embrace my weird paranormal-ness.

Walking through the gates was fine, the sun was shining, it was a hot day but not SO hot that it was overbearing- i’ve walked all day in higher temperatures with less shade- so I figured this was going to be a great time with great people…
And then we hit the beginning of the graves. Instantly I felt a change inside of me. Something unlike anything i’d felt before. There was a hard pressure on the base of my neck in the front. Try pressing on that, makes it hard to breathe, right?
I tried to shake the feeling off, but the deeper we got, the more pressure I felt, only not just on my neck, but my chest as well. It quite literally felt like when I was little and my brother would sit on me hoping to make me pass out while I screamed at him to get the hell off.

I was not only finding it hard to breathe, but hard to speak and kept feeling like I had to clear my throat to get anything out. I may not be the most in shape person on the planet, but typically I can handle the combination of hills and heat and I was PANTING and feeling like I was going to pass out- and not a single other person in our group of 13 was.

It occurred to me very quickly- the fact that I was in a graveyard and feeling horribly oppressed? Uhhh, duh. Sensitive.  No, I didn’t see any ghosts or hear anything or anything else like that- it was just that overwhelming feeling of suffocation I felt that told me that it was the energy of that area. Needless to say, I was SO happy to get the hell out of there- and as soon as I got back into my car, the weight lifted and I could breathe easily again.
Coincidence? I think not.

We’d taken the dog with us, and as soon as we got home- he went straight into the bath. It’s one thing to have a dog, it’s another thing to have a dog that SMELLS like a dog and has your whole house smelling like one, too. Hell naw! Not in my house! So scrub-a-dub he went, and came out smelling fantastical.

We went out somewhere- I forget where now- and left the dog at home, locked in the kitchen. He has NEVER gotten out of the kitchen before and we’ve had him for months.
When we got home, not long later, I walked up to the front door with the key and got smacked in the face with the overwhelming smell of dog. VERY strong. Like i’d stuck my nose into a dirty dog’s fur and took a huge whiff. And I don’t even have a strong sense of smell.
That’s when I said out loud, without even really thinking about it: “The dog got out.
And wouldn’t you know it, when I opened the front door- the dog came running out.

I’m not gonna sit here and tell you, OH MY F’ING GOD Y’ALL, I’M PSYCHIC! COME TO ME AND I’LL TELL YOUR FORTUNE! or some stupid shit like that- what I am saying is that shit is weird again, super weird, and only affecting me.

I really don’t want the next step to be going all Haley Joel Osment and seeing some dead barfing chick under a bed somewhere, but somehow not realizing my therapist, aka Bruce Willis is also dead. I would hope i’d be a little bit more intelligent than that- y’know, being that I have about 20 years on that kid (give or take. WHAT? he was fucking tiny in that movie, I don’t know how old he was)- but one never really knows what’s going to happen until they are in the situation for themselves.

Hmmm… I think i’ll stick to sniffing funky dogs and staying out of graveyards from now on, thanks!

Posted on June 25, 2012 by Holdin' Holden 22 Comments
Holdin' Holden

About Holdin' Holden

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22 Comments

  • I FULLY believe in paranormal happenings, and also consider myself a “sensitive”, again, only because I feel like I can feel when there is someone else in the room besides me when it really is just me. I smell my dads cologne when I’m going through a rough patch and sometimes just when I’m playing with my son. (My dad passed before my son was born) But I’ve also experienced less happy things. I had an alarm clock unplug itself and was hurled across the room at my head while I was sleeping (I sleep with my door locked, nobody was in the room), I’ve heard knocking on the wall above my head but it was closer to the ceiling (I sleep on the top floor, the wall where my head is faces the front of the house.) followed by what felt like someone plopping down on my bed and an ice cold breath in my ear. I’ve witnessed my basement door slam by itself, no windows were open and there are no air vents around it. Found handprints at the top of my mirror in my bathroom, I have my own bathroom, nobody else uses it. My sons crank mobile comes on by itself at night. So does his monitor. Soooo yea, I’d say I’m a believer.

  • I totally see dead people! Not zombies or shit like that, but I’ll wake up once or twice a night because I see an outline of a person standing over my bed. I gasp and sit up straight, and scare the ever loving shit out of my husband! No one even gives it a second thought anymore! Anyway, I totally believe!

  • I believe you. I could go on and on, but to keep it short I’ve experienced paranormal since age 5. I feel, see, and emotionally feel. I’ve even heard things that surely weren’t there. After a couple years of marriage hubby did too. I think it’s me. Like I’m paranormal prone.

  • As a sensitive and fellow blogger (though I blog about the paranormal, not parenthood), I was kind of excited to see this post from you! I definitely don’t think you’re crazy… I’ve always thought of it as a natural gift 100% of people have but most just “make it go away…” Great post, thank you!

  • Oh I definitely don’t think i’m crazy but I used to get some odd responses, that’s for sure. The first picture in this post is actually a real picture from Holden’s room

    • We moved into our house when my dtr was 1 y/o. When she was 3 or so, we had to keep stopping her from playing in the bathroom (dumping water everywhere). It got to the point we had to rip up the carpet in the adjoining hall. Later, we found ourselves yelling at her for pulling down towels we had hung to dry. Claimed she never did it.
      Flash forward to when she was 6, I had a ‘psychic party’ who told me not to blame her for that (never mentioned it to anyone, why bother), that it was my deceased brother saying hi and playing games like when we were kids.
      I believe you.

  • I totally believe. Too much so to list here examples of what I’ve experienced. But I have found that if you say a little prayer (not neccesarily to God, just that whoever happens to be listening will help the spirit in your house find peace and move on, etc) and then say as much to said spirit and tell them its ok to go to the light/other side/cross over or whatever your beliefs are, that it helps the “goings-on”. Also helps if you are calm and relaxed when you do this, and not freaking out, and best when you feel the presence near you. I live in the country w/in a few miles of a couple cemetaries and do this quite often. Though, if they don’t make themselves a nuicence they are welcome to stay. They are wonderful “watch dogs”, helped w/the kiddo when he was a baby, and keep things interesting…

  • I totally believe. Too much so to list here examples of what I’ve experienced. But I have found that if you say a little prayer (not neccesarily to God, just that whoever happens to be listening will help the spirit in your house find peace and move on, etc) and then say as much to said spirit and tell them its ok to go to the light/other side/cross over or whatever your beliefs are, that it helps the “goings-on”. Also helps if you are calm and relaxed when you do this, and not freaking out, and best when you feel the presence near you. I live in the country w/in a few miles of a couple cemetaries and do this quite often. Though, if they don’t make themselves a nuicence they are welcome to stay. They are wonderful “watch dogs”, helped w/the kiddo when he was a baby, and keep things interesting…

  • I totally believe. Too much so to list here examples of what I’ve experienced. But I have found that if you say a little prayer (not neccesarily to God, just that whoever happens to be listening will help the spirit in your house find peace and move on, etc) and then say as much to said spirit and tell them its ok to go to the light/other side/cross over or whatever your beliefs are, that it helps the “goings-on”. Also helps if you are calm and relaxed when you do this, and not freaking out, and best when you feel the presence near you. I live in the country w/in a few miles of a couple cemetaries and do this quite often. Though, if they don’t make themselves a nuicence they are welcome to stay. They are wonderful “watch dogs”, helped w/the kiddo when he was a baby, and keep things interesting…

  • I totally believe. Too much so to list here examples of what I’ve experienced. But I have found that if you say a little prayer (not neccesarily to God, just that whoever happens to be listening will help the spirit in your house find peace and move on, etc) and then say as much to said spirit and tell them its ok to go to the light/other side/cross over or whatever your beliefs are, that it helps the “goings-on”. Also helps if you are calm and relaxed when you do this, and not freaking out, and best when you feel the presence near you. I live in the country w/in a few miles of a couple cemetaries and do this quite often. Though, if they don’t make themselves a nuicence they are welcome to stay. They are wonderful “watch dogs”, helped w/the kiddo when he was a baby, and keep things interesting…

  • I totally believe. Too much so to list here examples of what I’ve experienced. But I have found that if you say a little prayer (not neccesarily to God, just that whoever happens to be listening will help the spirit in your house find peace and move on, etc) and then say as much to said spirit and tell them its ok to go to the light/other side/cross over or whatever your beliefs are, that it helps the “goings-on”. Also helps if you are calm and relaxed when you do this, and not freaking out, and best when you feel the presence near you. I live in the country w/in a few miles of a couple cemetaries and do this quite often. Though, if they don’t make themselves a nuicence they are welcome to stay. They are wonderful “watch dogs”, helped w/the kiddo when he was a baby, and keep things interesting…

  • I totally believe. Too much so to list here examples of what I’ve experienced. But I have found that if you say a little prayer (not neccesarily to God, just that whoever happens to be listening will help the spirit in your house find peace and move on, etc) and then say as much to said spirit and tell them its ok to go to the light/other side/cross over or whatever your beliefs are, that it helps the “goings-on”. Also helps if you are calm and relaxed when you do this, and not freaking out, and best when you feel the presence near you. I live in the country w/in a few miles of a couple cemetaries and do this quite often. Though, if they don’t make themselves a nuicence they are welcome to stay. They are wonderful “watch dogs”, helped w/the kiddo when he was a baby, and keep things interesting…

  • I totally believe. Too much so to list here examples of what I’ve experienced. But I have found that if you say a little prayer (not neccesarily to God, just that whoever happens to be listening will help the spirit in your house find peace and move on, etc) and then say as much to said spirit and tell them its ok to go to the light/other side/cross over or whatever your beliefs are, that it helps the “goings-on”. Also helps if you are calm and relaxed when you do this, and not freaking out, and best when you feel the presence near you. I live in the country w/in a few miles of a couple cemetaries and do this quite often. Though, if they don’t make themselves a nuicence they are welcome to stay. They are wonderful “watch dogs”, helped w/the kiddo when he was a baby, and keep things interesting…

  • I totally believe. Too much so to list here examples of what I’ve experienced. But I have found that if you say a little prayer (not neccesarily to God, just that whoever happens to be listening will help the spirit in your house find peace and move on, etc) and then say as much to said spirit and tell them its ok to go to the light/other side/cross over or whatever your beliefs are, that it helps the “goings-on”. Also helps if you are calm and relaxed when you do this, and not freaking out, and best when you feel the presence near you. I live in the country w/in a few miles of a couple cemetaries and do this quite often. Though, if they don’t make themselves a nuicence they are welcome to stay. They are wonderful “watch dogs”, helped w/the kiddo when he was a baby, and keep things interesting…

  • I totally believe. Too much so to list here examples of what I’ve experienced. But I have found that if you say a little prayer (not neccesarily to God, just that whoever happens to be listening will help the spirit in your house find peace and move on, etc) and then say as much to said spirit and tell them its ok to go to the light/other side/cross over or whatever your beliefs are, that it helps the “goings-on”. Also helps if you are calm and relaxed when you do this, and not freaking out, and best when you feel the presence near you. I live in the country w/in a few miles of a couple cemetaries and do this quite often. Though, if they don’t make themselves a nuicence they are welcome to stay. They are wonderful “watch dogs”, helped w/the kiddo when he was a baby, and keep things interesting…

  • 9 times out of 10, things leave without any trouble. I am the 10th. They don’t go.
    And saying any kind of prayer wouldn’t do me much good, as I believe you have to believe in what or whom you’re praying to- and I am still undecided in the entire matter. That is why I think the majority of exorcisms go so well- because of the undoubted belief and faith of the one performing it.

    Really to me, if it’s here, I don’t want it here- as it all makes me horribly uneasy, harmless or not. Too many bad experiences under my belt to sit around with it- but currently it seems that it’s not house activity but ME activity going on lol

  • Both my mother and me are sensitive to activity. She was house sitting one time, and called me after her first night to come stay with her. She told me nothing about her being touched in the hallway the night before. I could not sleep, because some guy was standing by my feet watching me. That is just one thing that happened to both of us. I get the smells associated with family members that have passed, so will my mother. I hear people talking in my house when I am the only one here, things get moved or go missing, etc. I will not watch a scary movie, but real paranormal activity does not scare me. I have accepted it as my normal.

  • So jealous right now. Hubby and I are trying to plan a trip to see the Hollywood Cemetery. We are studying the civil war and there are generals along with soldiers buried there.

  • Does that picture say “Carl”? Is your house channeling The Walking Dead? In seriousness, I think that women are more susceptible to paranormal stuff. No punchline, I really believe that. I don’t know why or what would cause it, but I’ve known women that have similar creepy experiences.

  • I grew up my whole life with ghosts…..actually, it wasn’t until moving into this house that we haven’t had any experiences….UNTIL the other damn day. I am tired of it though……I’d like some peace and quiet please LOL Although it seems as though whatever is here is bothering my son only. As a kid, they only bothered me….but I’ll tell ya, NOBODY believed me as a kid, but I will sure believe my son! haha

  • My husband and I go to Hollywood Cemetary frequently because we love to take pictures. I get the same feeling as you where I feel like I can’t breathe. I’ve just learned to ignore it. I believe in the paranormal. Trust me, we went to a cemetary in Midlothian and as soon as we walked through the hair on my arm stood up. We walked a little more and all of a sudden it felt like someone grabbed my arm. When I looked down there was a mark where I felt the grab. It was complete handprint too big to be mine or my husbands. I ran out of there and refuse to go back.

  • I do think that some people are more sensitive than others-I think I am sensitive, and have had some crazy things happen that could not be explained rationally. Things I just knew. Not big things, just little things.
    My mom (deceased in 2003) would always say that we were connected. She said she could make me “call her” by telling me telepathically to call her. And she said it always worked (why didn’t she just call me? That was not our relationship! She wanted me to call her at those times). She could not do it with my sister. I heard her say my name once, and called her to see if she had just been talking about me, and she had.
    I just today have had a strange thing happen. We could never find my mother’s china. She said it was in the attic, and supposedly my dad had searched twice, while she was still alive, and couldn’t find it. Just this past weekend, I got upset about my grandmother’s china that another family member had(I wasn’t happy about who ended up with it). It brought up my mom’s china again. Holy Hell if my sister didn’t find it today??? We’ve been preparing for a rummage sale, and she found it. A sign from my mom telling me to calm the freak down, maybe?? 🙂