I am exhausted. Completely, totally, want to spork someone in the eye upon being dragged out of bed by a 2 year old who won’t stop yelling “MOMMYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY” in my face, they should take scientific research on how I am still in a vertical position, I really shouldn’t be blogging because I can’t form a coherent sentence, exhausted.
I make no secret that Tuesday nights are drinking nights. WHY? WHY do I have Mommy Juice Tuesday? Well, because I believe that us Moms, stay at home or working- need a damn BREAK. If we can’t get OUT of the house- the break should be IN the house, right?
Something to break up the monotony. Something to just relax with, have a good time- even if our asses are still firmly planted on the couch, per usual.
I am a responsible adult. I know my limits. There’s another responsible adult in the house. I never see an issue with some Tuesday night mommy-juicin’ it up.
I never see an issue until the next morning. There is no sleeping in, calling out, faking sick (or not faking, depending), or conking out at your desk praying no one notices. Someone is ALWAYS there to notice, and those someones are kids.
Aww yeah, no matter how much you want to shirk the responsibility- you can’t. They need to be fed and watched and made sure they’re not breaking anything of value, or gluing their own hands together, or taking scissors to the curtains, or punching each other in the face.
While all our bodies crave is to just curl up into the fetal position and cram Taco Bell into our bellies- that shit ain’t gonna happen
Some people meal prep to be healthy throughout the week. Some people meal prep because they want to be lazy for the rest of the week. I meal prep to prove to my kids that humans CAN eat the same thing day after day without dying.
It's no secret that I hate the cold months- but I'm all about finding the silver lining. Here's a couple ways it ain't ALL bad. holdinholden.com/2014/02/5-12…
I have so many wonderful memories from my years as a parent, but my new favorite is my son gagging while cleaning up his own crusty pee from around the base of his toilet.
Mom life pic.twitter.com/7CaEaYM6XE
STOP Only Reading the First Lines of Blogs goo.gl/fb/w2t38z
If you can find enjoyment in arguing with a miniature human about why they have to take good care of teeth that are just going to fall out of their head anyway- you'll think parenthood is the best.
Unicorns are great and all, but my favorite mythical creatures are well-behaved children