I am exhausted. Completely, totally, want to spork someone in the eye upon being dragged out of bed by a 2 year old who won’t stop yelling “MOMMYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY” in my face, they should take scientific research on how I am still in a vertical position, I really shouldn’t be blogging because I can’t form a coherent sentence, exhausted.
I make no secret that Tuesday nights are drinking nights. WHY? WHY do I have Mommy Juice Tuesday? Well, because I believe that us Moms, stay at home or working- need a damn BREAK. If we can’t get OUT of the house- the break should be IN the house, right?
Something to break up the monotony. Something to just relax with, have a good time- even if our asses are still firmly planted on the couch, per usual.
I am a responsible adult. I know my limits. There’s another responsible adult in the house. I never see an issue with some Tuesday night mommy-juicin’ it up.
I never see an issue until the next morning. There is no sleeping in, calling out, faking sick (or not faking, depending), or conking out at your desk praying no one notices. Someone is ALWAYS there to notice, and those someones are kids.
Aww yeah, no matter how much you want to shirk the responsibility- you can’t. They need to be fed and watched and made sure they’re not breaking anything of value, or gluing their own hands together, or taking scissors to the curtains, or punching each other in the face.
While all our bodies crave is to just curl up into the fetal position and cram Taco Bell into our bellies- that shit ain’t gonna happen
Get on it, oil people!! pic.twitter.com/xgXSB34uGf
The 10 Funniest Parenting Memes of the Week goo.gl/fb/zLqV6k
Husband (grating cheese): It's just so big and awkward I can't get my hand around it Me: .......... that's what she said #imthematureone
You know you're a mom when your husband sends a text asking what you need from the store & you reply "The only thing I need is sanity."
Me: Man, my toy allergy eyes are bad today Kids: What? Me: Yeah,if I see any of your crap on my floor I'll have a reaction and THROW IT AWAY
@AmericHousewife it's cute you think I'll survive to them turning that age!
Oh, you're really in for it! pic.twitter.com/xXzFxhlxRJ
Spring into Spring-a-Palooza at Great Wolf lodge! goo.gl/fb/Ey9QEb