I am exhausted. Completely, totally, want to spork someone in the eye upon being dragged out of bed by a 2 year old who won’t stop yelling “MOMMYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY” in my face, they should take scientific research on how I am still in a vertical position, I really shouldn’t be blogging because I can’t form a coherent sentence, exhausted.
I make no secret that Tuesday nights are drinking nights. WHY? WHY do I have Mommy Juice Tuesday? Well, because I believe that us Moms, stay at home or working- need a damn BREAK. If we can’t get OUT of the house- the break should be IN the house, right?
Something to break up the monotony. Something to just relax with, have a good time- even if our asses are still firmly planted on the couch, per usual.
I am a responsible adult. I know my limits. There’s another responsible adult in the house. I never see an issue with some Tuesday night mommy-juicin’ it up.
I never see an issue until the next morning. There is no sleeping in, calling out, faking sick (or not faking, depending), or conking out at your desk praying no one notices. Someone is ALWAYS there to notice, and those someones are kids.
Aww yeah, no matter how much you want to shirk the responsibility- you can’t. They need to be fed and watched and made sure they’re not breaking anything of value, or gluing their own hands together, or taking scissors to the curtains, or punching each other in the face.
While all our bodies crave is to just curl up into the fetal position and cram Taco Bell into our bellies- that shit ain’t gonna happen
I'm either "I HAVE 3 FRIES LEFT DON'T TOUCH MY PLATE!" or "Please take this so I can't eat any more of it!" There is no in-between.
Dear people writing articles on ways to get siblings to get along, I'll save you the time. The answer is "Don't let them play together"
Please stop Complimenting my kids’ “Good” Behavior goo.gl/fb/rwfojS
Hard pass from me pic.twitter.com/VayvW1eopK
I've gotten to the point where I'd let my kids summon a demon with a Ouija board before I'd let them play Monopoly together again.