I am exhausted. Completely, totally, want to spork someone in the eye upon being dragged out of bed by a 2 year old who won’t stop yelling “MOMMYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY” in my face, they should take scientific research on how I am still in a vertical position, I really shouldn’t be blogging because I can’t form a coherent sentence, exhausted.
I make no secret that Tuesday nights are drinking nights. WHY? WHY do I have Mommy Juice Tuesday? Well, because I believe that us Moms, stay at home or working- need a damn BREAK. If we can’t get OUT of the house- the break should be IN the house, right?
Something to break up the monotony. Something to just relax with, have a good time- even if our asses are still firmly planted on the couch, per usual.
I am a responsible adult. I know my limits. There’s another responsible adult in the house. I never see an issue with some Tuesday night mommy-juicin’ it up.
I never see an issue until the next morning. There is no sleeping in, calling out, faking sick (or not faking, depending), or conking out at your desk praying no one notices. Someone is ALWAYS there to notice, and those someones are kids.
Aww yeah, no matter how much you want to shirk the responsibility- you can’t. They need to be fed and watched and made sure they’re not breaking anything of value, or gluing their own hands together, or taking scissors to the curtains, or punching each other in the face.
While all our bodies crave is to just curl up into the fetal position and cram Taco Bell into our bellies- that shit ain’t gonna happen
10yo: What is calculus? Me: It's you + me = us Husband: get out. #oldpeoplejokes
Bravery AND confidence pic.twitter.com/voqjVXWgZx
@wildblueME I just don't tell them what I'm making anymore
Winning Advice from an 8-year old goo.gl/fb/MmhfYU
Y'know what's awesome? I don't even have to waste time trying new recipes because my kids will tell me they hate it before I start cooking.
@Julieannefiu I still sing WRAPPED UP LIKE A DOUCHE. I think they're lying about the "real" lyrics
I sang SO many embarrassingly wrong song lyrics with such confidence. pic.twitter.com/Ww5TaAxY3r
@AndreaPerez0217 Not that I'm biased, but I highly recommend ;) Hope you enjoy!