Aside from the obvious parts or lack thereof, there are many differences between men and women. No, it’s not the planet we come from (so don’t feed me that Venus and Mars BS), but giant differences in how we process things in our brains, choose to respond to situations, and feel about certain things. The things that really make us opposite sexes aside from the things we have sex with.
Not that I was some kind of giant slut in my earlier years (ahem…), but I did date a few men, and i’ve been married to one of them for 5 years. Each time I think I am getting closer to understanding the male psyche due to all the time spent around and with them- something happens to prove just how fundamentally different we really are, and that perhaps no matter how hard we try, we will never understand each other 100%. Maybe we just aren’t meant to!
Case in point:
Before we brought the puppy home, he was being fed a diet of rice, chicken and vegetables. No puppy chow, no kibbles… just straight up human food.
Due to not wanting liquid puppy shit to be sprayed all over the house by upsetting his tiny tummy by immediately switching him to puppy food, we figured it would be best to keep him on the chicken & rice and slowly make the transition.
Even though my thought was that 8 cups of rice was just too much for the amount of chicken- he went ahead and cooked that up anyways. SHOCKER, it was WAY the hell too much.
From that point, it was decided that the mixture would be stuck into 2 tupperwares just to be able to save them both.
Our tupperware cabinet may not be the MOST organized thing in the world, but we do have tops for each container, and generally, each size is stacked separately. Keep this in mind, it is in fact foreshadowing.
Obviously, when Thomas goes to work, I am responsible for feeding the puppy- so I go into the fridge and I see two tupperware containers with the chicken and rice in it. One with some plastic wrap over the top, and one sealed with the tupperware lid. WHY the plastic wrap when there are plenty of lids? Hmmmm…
As a woman, which one would you think was intended for first use? The one sealed up tight, or the one with some plastic wrap stuck over the top?
In my mind, the one with just plastic wrap would go bad sooner, so obviously it was meant to be used before the one with an airtight seal (or that’s what those 50s housewives lead me to believe anyways).
Well the next evening, I prepared the puppy’s dinner when Thomas stops me and gives me a look that tells me he thinks I have completely lost my damn mind.
I was informed, condescendingly no less, that the mixture I was using, the one with the plastic wrap over the top, was in fact the WRONG one,“COULDN’T YOU TELL?”
Uh, no, no I could not! Had I put the mix into containers, it would be a no-brainer to put a seal over the one being used last. To him, it didn’t really matter. They were both covered. End of story. No thought on how it would keep until it was in use if it were sealed tightly rather than loosely. That’s wrong… at least to me that’s wrong.
Right??? RIGHT?? AM I RIGHT??
I mean, that’s how it works to a woman’s brain. Tupperware is not to be taken lightly. We use it wisely and with purpose. To a man (or most men, I suppose I cannot lump ALL men into one Tupperware dense pile), a cover is just a cover and nothing more.
And that’s how it goes in most aspects of life, isn’t it? We women over analyze and think about every detail of every thing- sometimes until it nearly drives us batty… and men seem so damn carefree that we want to spork them in the throat.
We may not come from different planets, but it can definitely seem like it sometimes. You might call that “opposites attracting”… but to me, it’s “let’s drive each other completely fucking batshit crazy and call it love.”
Getting my hair done today! Honestly more excited that my husband has to pick up the kids from school than I am about a fresh 'do
17 Stupidly Impossible Things our Kids Think we can do that we… well… can’t. goo.gl/fb/RrkM47
The fact that this is accurate for my life means it's finally happened: I've become my mother. pic.twitter.com/xrIGOoM5Q9
Vacation season is upon is! This is just your friendly reminder that trips with kids are NOT vacations. holdinholden.com/2016/03/vaca…
If you've ever dreamed of having a smaller, angrier version of yourself that you have to argue with over booger eating, kids are for you.
Repeat for infinity while yelling "I JUST CLEANED THAT" pic.twitter.com/pmfEpm3hJU
I love it when my kid is proud of his new accomplishments. I just wish he wouldn't come into my room at 5am to yell them at me while I sleep
Don't grow up- it's a trap! holdinholden.com/2017/05/10-w…
FYI: When I said "enough with the cold weather! It's MAY! Give us heat!" I didn't mean that I wanted to take a vacation to Satan's anus.