Ladies, gentleman, i’m going to do us both a favor here.
We are told from as early as we understand that we differ because of our extra extremities (or lack thereof) that we come from different planets; we aren’t meant to get each other, never fully. Leave it to mystique! A little mystery goes a long way! Why buy the cow when you can get the milk for free?
And while I agree with SOME of that (emphasis on some), there are some things that I think the opposite genders should understand in one another in order to make life a hell of a lot easier, prevent some arguments, and promote a general sense of well-being for all.
Today’s clarification? Woman excuses. And not just any kind of excuse- but excuses to “get out of sex”-
If your lady, who just happens to be a mother, tells you that she is “too tired” to get it on,
here’s a note for you, men, IT’S NOT AN EXCUSE!
It’s been made fun of in movies and on TV for as long as I can remember, it’s even become cliche to the point to where if you use it, EVER, many people (or many men anyways) will think that you simply don’t want sex and are lying through your teeth in order to avoid it. You are a bitter dried up old hag who can’t tell the truth about not being in the mood and will make something up that can’t technically be proven wrong to get out of it, just have your man stop asking you.
In my experience as a woman, a friend of women, and a mother, I can tell you- WE AREN’T LYING! We really are tired. And not just tired, but COMPLETELY exhausted.
I know to some our lives might seem mundane, boring, trivial. Either we stay at home with kids or we go to work and get a “break” from them all day, come home, whip up some dinner, get the kids bathed and in bed like Doris fucking Day- piece of cake! OH, and cake too! Because us supermoms never forget to make dessert. All with an endless source of energy and a smile on our face. How on EARTH could we EVER be “too tired” to have sex? It’s SEX!
Sorry to tell you, those with penises (peni? whatever)- once you squeeze a child out of your vagina or have them ripped out of your insides- the most appealing thing we can possibly think of on the majority of nights is a full 8 hours of sleep. It even becomes a fantasy. Yes, a lot of nights a more appealing fantasy than being ravaged by our significant other, believe it or not- you may always be fantasizing about our parts, but we are NOT always fantasizing about yours. We simply don’t have the time.
Sorry to burst your bubble of women being man-hating sex-depriving bitches. I’m sure there are SOME out there like that, but for the most part- when we tell you we’re too damn tired- it’s fact and not fiction (although the headache defense outside of migraines I cannot get behind),
Just deal with it, roll over, and go to sleep-
To those that refuse to listen and wait until their lady is half conscious, or even completely asleep? Take it from me- that’s how siblings happen
17 Stupidly Impossible Things our Kids Think we can do that we… well… can’t. goo.gl/fb/RrkM47
The fact that this is accurate for my life means it's finally happened: I've become my mother. pic.twitter.com/xrIGOoM5Q9
Vacation season is upon is! This is just your friendly reminder that trips with kids are NOT vacations. holdinholden.com/2016/03/vaca…
If you've ever dreamed of having a smaller, angrier version of yourself that you have to argue with over booger eating, kids are for you.
Repeat for infinity while yelling "I JUST CLEANED THAT" pic.twitter.com/pmfEpm3hJU
I love it when my kid is proud of his new accomplishments. I just wish he wouldn't come into my room at 5am to yell them at me while I sleep
Don't grow up- it's a trap! holdinholden.com/2017/05/10-w…
FYI: When I said "enough with the cold weather! It's MAY! Give us heat!" I didn't mean that I wanted to take a vacation to Satan's anus.
10 Ways Childhood is WAY BETTER than Adulthood goo.gl/fb/j0vnoQ