Brilliant Husband Excuses of The Past Decade

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Brilliant Husband Excuses of The Past Decade

I am married to one of the most brilliant men around. Yes, whenever he gets busted for not having done something he was supposed to do, he always has a way of somehow convincing me that it was actually MY fault, some act of God, or some result of “man-tardation” that is out of his control and that prevented him from performing the assigned task. I believe there’s a psychological term for this, but I don’t know what it is.  All I know is that no matter what he DOESN’T get done, my hubby always has an excuse that will get him right off the hook. Indeed, his excuses often leave me standing there like an idiot with my jaw hanging open. Here are some of my favorites from the past decade:
1. “I couldn’t put the fitted sheet on the bed.  It didn’t fit.”
2. “I would have fed the kids, but I didn’t know where you keep the forks. You’re always moving them.”    
3. “I put the stuff in the dryer like you asked. You never said anything about turning it on.”
4. “The only reason I put the empty milk container back in the fridge was to help you! You see, I’m reminding you to buy more.”
5. “I plan to clean up that entire room as soon as sports are over for the year.”
6. “I was thinking of making dinner, but I know how much you love to do it, and I didn’t want to take that away from you.”
7. “I just can’t go out with this miserable headache. Otherwise, I would have loved to go see Brokeback Mountain with you.”
8. “I couldn’t clean out the garage. That lunch you made me put me right to sleep for the rest of the afternoon.”
9. “I didn’t want to put all the pots and pans in the wrong place where you couldn’t find them. That’s the only reason I left them there in the sink for you.”
10. “I need those regular sports massages because my back and neck hurt so much from all those times I passed out on the couch while doing the night feedings so that you could sleep.”
What are some of your favorites?
Posted on February 4, 2012 by Holdin' Holden 3 Comments
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