There is no way I can sit here and whine about fighting with my kids over bed time. I know there are children out there who absolutely refuse, fight tooth and nail (literally in some cases), scream, yell, and basically decide that they’ll sleep when they’re dead- in 90 years.
Even though Holden gave us issues early on, and Parker decided that sleeping in his bed was wholly overrated for a few weeks after our most recent move- we haven’t been given a hell of a lot of sleep trouble. They both, MOST nights, go to bed without a fight and don’t get up until morning….
BUT- and it’s a big but (you giggled, I know you did)- it’s the MORNINGS we have issues with.
Can I complain, comparatively? Probably not. Am I going to? Absolutely.
I am NOT a morning person. I fucking HATE mornings. I do not care how sweet or beautiful or romantic a sunrise is, if I could sleep until there was no more “AM” on the clock, you’d bet your ‘big but’ I would. Getting up early aggravates me to the point of feeling the urge to shit, i’m groggy, i’m grumpy, i’m tired and tense.
My children, however… they are both morning people. And not just morning people, but EARLY morning people. The earlier the better. Preferably before the sun is up!
We’ve tried it all. We’ve kept them up late- they wake up earlier. We put them to bed earlier, they wake up earlier. Wear them out? They just aren’t tired.
HOW. Seriously, someone explain to me HOW a human body, a tiny little human body that is constantly (and I do mean CONSTANTLY) in motion can function at such high speeds on such a little amount of sleep??
It doesn’t seem possible.. not by human standards anyways (and people wonder why I call children inhuman evil entities?)
They’re up and tearing ass around the house before I even have a chance to mumble a string of curse words and pick the crust out of my eyes.
This morning really took the fucking cake for me. Twice a week I have to wake up at an ungodly hour to go to physical therapy. I made the appointments so early so that Thomas wouldn’t have to miss so much work (remind me to NEVER be nice again). In my exhausted haze (very similar to a drunken one) I stumble around the house attempting to make myself presentable enough to be seen by other humanoids without inflicting sheer terror, all the while trying to make absolutely NO NOISE, as to not wake the tiny energetic creatures still sleeping.
And of course, I so much as breathe the wrong way and they fly out of bed like poptarts in a toaster.
Of course, my first reaction is to tell them to get their asses back in bed because it is FAR too early to be awake. And what does Holden say to that?
“Daddy told us we could be up!”
as a quick side note: DON’T FUCKING DO THAT.
I thought i’d avoided the “if mommy says no i’ll ask daddy” battle, as Holden has never done it.. but Thomas makes it too fucking easy and now it’s messing with my sleep and their level of grumpy, which interferes with M level up grumpy and the amount of sanity i’ve managed to keep a hold on (note: NOT DAMN MUCH).
So all of my hopes of them going back to bed and giving me an easy day at that point, and not having them turn into whiny little messes right before dinner time flew right out the window.
WELL, if you APPRECIATED SLEEP like any NORMAL HUMAN… you’d keep yourselves out of a fuckton of trouble.
And of course, I realize that by the time they DO appreciate sleep and want to sleep in- I will be dragging their lazy asses out of bed and forcing them to go to school, clean their rooms, wake up before 3pm, do something with their lives, etc etc, so on and so forth.
Just can’t win, can we?
@Julieannefiu I still sing WRAPPED UP LIKE A DOUCHE. I think they're lying about the "real" lyrics
I sang SO many embarrassingly wrong song lyrics with such confidence. pic.twitter.com/Ww5TaAxY3r
@AndreaPerez0217 Not that I'm biased, but I highly recommend ;) Hope you enjoy!
Parenthood: you think it's gonna be all hugs & booboo kisses, but it's really cooking food everyone hates & scraping boogers off of walls.
School system: Here! Have a half day on Friday the 13th! Me: pic.twitter.com/Dy18C8R3dD
Spooking the Kids Without Scarring them for LIFE With Netflix! (and a giveaway!) goo.gl/fb/tkeWgB
I've never felt more in tune with nature than while watching my 8yo barf in the front yard this morning like a wild animal. Such majesty.