Bed times, early mornings, and contradictions

There is no way I can sit here and whine about fighting with my kids over bed time. I know there are children out there who absolutely refuse, fight tooth and nail (literally in some cases), scream, yell, and basically decide that they’ll sleep when they’re dead- in 90 years.

Even though Holden gave us issues early on, and Parker decided that sleeping in his bed was wholly overrated for a few weeks after our most recent move- we haven’t been given a hell of a lot of sleep trouble. They both, MOST nights, go to bed without a fight and don’t get up until morning….

BUT- and it’s a big but (you giggled, I know you did)- it’s the MORNINGS we have issues with.

Can I complain, comparatively? Probably not. Am I going to? Absolutely.

I am NOT a morning person. I fucking HATE mornings. I do not care how sweet or beautiful or romantic a sunrise is, if I could sleep until there was no more “AM” on the clock, you’d bet your ‘big but’ I would. Getting up early aggravates me to the point of feeling the urge to shit, i’m groggy, i’m grumpy, i’m tired and tense.
My children, however… they are both morning people. And not just morning people, but EARLY morning people. The earlier the better. Preferably before the sun is up!

We’ve tried it all. We’ve kept them up late- they wake up earlier. We put them to bed earlier, they wake up earlier. Wear them out? They just aren’t tired.

HOW. Seriously, someone explain to me HOW a human body, a tiny little human body that is constantly (and I do mean CONSTANTLY) in motion can function at such high speeds on such a little amount of sleep??
It doesn’t seem possible.. not by human standards anyways (and people wonder why I call children inhuman evil entities?)

They’re up and tearing ass around the house before I even have a chance to mumble a string of curse words and pick the crust out of my eyes.

This morning really took the fucking cake for me. Twice a week I have to wake up at an ungodly hour to go to physical therapy. I made the appointments so early so that Thomas wouldn’t have to miss so much work (remind me to NEVER be nice again). In my exhausted haze (very similar to a drunken one) I stumble around the house attempting to make myself presentable enough to be seen by other humanoids without inflicting sheer terror, all the while trying to make absolutely NO NOISE, as to not wake the tiny energetic creatures still sleeping.

And of course, I so much as breathe the wrong way and they fly out of bed like poptarts in a toaster.

Of course, my first reaction is to tell them to get their asses back in bed because it is FAR too early to be awake. And what does Holden say to that?
“Daddy told us we could be up!”

as a quick side note: DON’T FUCKING DO THAT.
I thought i’d avoided the “if mommy says no i’ll ask daddy” battle, as Holden has never done it.. but Thomas makes it too fucking easy and now it’s messing with my sleep and their level of grumpy, which interferes with M level up grumpy and the amount of sanity i’ve managed to keep a hold on (note: NOT DAMN MUCH).

So all of my hopes of them going back to bed and giving me an easy day at that point, and not having them turn into whiny little messes right before dinner time flew right out the window.
WELL, if you APPRECIATED SLEEP like any NORMAL HUMAN… you’d keep yourselves out of a fuckton of trouble.

And of course, I realize that by the time they DO appreciate sleep and want to sleep in- I will be dragging their lazy asses out of bed and forcing them to go to school, clean their rooms, wake up before 3pm, do something with their lives, etc etc, so on and so forth.

Just can’t win, can we?

Posted on February 9, 2012 by Holdin' Holden 3 Comments
Holdin' Holden

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  • Out of four kids, I have two that are crack of dawn, one that will sleep until 7:00ish, and one that I have held a mirror under her nose to verify respiration. I empathize, I do, my heart goes out to you!

  • hehehehe… BUT….
    I did giggle.. Nothing funnier than a BUTT/BUT joke before noon.

    I empathize.
    Emry wakes up before 7a on the weekends… It kills me.
    And the go to bed later thing has NEVER WORKED… he just wakes up earlier.
    My reasoning for this… the universe is a SPITEFUL place.

    YUP. I went there.
    He wakes up early because of SPITE.

    I get two days a week to sleep past 5a.. he knows that… and he wants me up…… at the crack@55 of dawn on the weekends.

    Just a vent.
    Haven’t been here in a bit…
    Have to catch up on my reading!!!!

  • evil baby is the same. once in a blue moon, i can get the boys out to the bus without waking her up, and go back to sleep {with one eye open} for a bit. but most days, she’s up BEFORE them, which means I have to get up.. usually before 7am.