Mommy’s mental health day

Being a stay at home mom may come with a lot of perks… but we are missing the things that are great about having a “real” job.
We don’t get breaks, lunch hours to fuck around, drama-whoring coworkers to laugh at (actually.. on second thought, maybe that one), no paid vacation and DEFINITELY no sick days.

That was the only thing that I miss about being in the actual workforce: paid.days.off. And almost always used when I wasn’t actually ill.

With kids, we all know there are no days off. You’re “on the clock” so to speak for 24 hours a day, 7 days a week and every damn day of the year for 18 years… sometimes more depending upon how much of a leech your crotchfruit is.

I get plenty of “me” time, the kids, thank the sweet baby jesus, are decent sleepers- but what I really want… what I really crave.. is ALONE time. OUT OF THIS HOUSE.
I spent so much damn time trapped in this house because the thought of taking two psychotic children out in public alone exhausts me so much that I never do it, that I rarely ever get out. I’m stuck here, with them, ALL.THE.TIME.

Usually I handle it well. It doesn’t even bother me. I’ve become a recluse and a hermit and most days I rather like it… but there are days where suddenly the walls begin to close in, the children are screaming and fighting, and the husband is being a complete douchey fucknut and I start to panic.

Suddenly my insides are screaming for me to run away and join the traveling circus.

How did I get myself into this? Who was the idiot who talked me into getting married to this asshat and having these two demon children? Oh that was ME? FUCK ME!

It doesn’t happen often, but when it does, everyone needs to look out. And the problem is that i’ve done a fantastic job at being a hermit because my frantic texts to friends telling them to save me before I smother my husband really do nothing but confirm the in their minds that I am a psychotic old housewife who likely shouldn’t be allowed to be around other functioning adults.

If you can’t tell by now, today was that day for me. I feel broken. Twitchy. Sweaty and panicky. And irritable. Especially irritable.

I fully believe that in order to properly care for our children and not smother our significant others- us moms need to GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM THEM on occasion. Maybe even a frequent occasion. Even if just for an hour or two.

I’m calling in a mental health day to work. I hope the bosses don’t mind.

Posted on January 15, 2012 by Holdin' Holden 5 Comments
Holdin' Holden

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  • I actually told my spouse and son yesterday (or the day before, they’re all the same, really) that if she brought a 3DS into the house I was leaving. I didn’t know where and I wasn’t telling even if I did. I had to take it back of course so the boy wouldn’t freak out. But I could also really use a couple of days away. Far.Far.Away.

  • LMAO so so true….. although i am a 44 year old mommy of a 19 15 and 13 year old…. i remember ALL too WELL…. I find your blog funny as hell and wish i had this when i was going thru the challanges of a mom with three kids under the age of six… all at once. IT SUCKED MAJOR DONKEY BALLS at times. BUT there is light at the end of the tunnel.. yea after they are off to college!!!!! keep it up girl… you make a lot of people smile

  • I’m new to reading your post…and I just have to say, you had me at crotchfruit. I even stole (ahem, borrowed) the word for my facebook.

  • I completely agree! I tell my husband at least once a month that if I don’t get out of the house and away from my screaming children I am going to go nuts and pull out all my hair and burn the house down. Then I won’t have to sit in it any more. He laughs at me and shakes his head..he doesn’t get it. I live in a tiny town in the middle of no where no stop light no nothing 2 gas stations and a grocery store. I have to drive 2 hours to go to the mall and and hour to the closest walmart. I have nothing to do and I go stir crazy pretty bad some times.