Oh! The things that are to come.

Making the decision to keep Holden out of preschool is one that I still cannot decide if it weighs out on the blessing or the curse side.

He clearly would do well to be in a classroom environment, but how far away and how long the days were I just couldn’t see it being appropriate for a child who’s never been out of the house or away from a parent for that long (minus the time I spent in the hospital popping out his little brother).
This means that instead of wasting his endless amounts of (obnoxious) energy in a classroom setting, far, far away from me- he is in my house, bouncing off the fucking walls every day all day. He is slightly maddening to be around, and I think it’s because he’s just not stimulated enough being at home with me, and there is only so much homeschooling I can do with him before he starts to make me think that a more fun alternative would be slowly pulling out my fingernails one by one (good thing I never wanted to be a teacher, huh?)

Honestly though, I don’t know what i’d do without him around. I’ve sort of become attached to the little shit over the years; and although I made the decision not to send him to public pre-k out of concern for him, I wouldn’t be telling the truth if I didn’t admit that the selfish part of me was satisfied over it. I’m just not ready to share him with anyone else yet!

Time seems to have been flying by, and sooner than I know it, it will be time for Holden to go away to Kindergarten- you can’t opt out of that. That notion has given me many things to think about.

What will I do when I just have Parker around? It’s never just been me and him.
Will I actually be able to leave the house again without sprouting new gray hairs over all the bullshit that goes into getting myself + 2 ready and out the door? +1 was always so much easier.

And of course, most importantly:
What will happen to the blog?

Over the years, I have learned the ins and outs of blogging- what to do and ESPECIALLY what not to. One of my big no-no’s is blogging about people you know negatively unless you’re anonymous and no one knows who the hell is doing the writing. Let’s face facts: I am way too far into this to ever go anonymous now.
With Holden in school… I am sure there are MANY classroom horror stories to come. But will I be able to actually TELL them?
Horrible teachers, snot-nosed little twatwaffle brat classmates, *shudder* PTA Moms who look down their nose at me.
If I blog about any of these things, and someone happened to stumble across this little place (since other than being ‘mommy’, writing is all I do these days), can you IMAGINE the level of hell that would reign down on my head? Or the enemies I would make for Holden?

I am quite positive it will be a goldmine of snotty moms and asshole kids (of course, mine included). Oh the stories I will have to tell! The hilarity that could ensue!
Only I have no idea if they will ever be told. I am not one for biting my tongue- the thought is KILLING me! If I can’t write about Holden in school and some little shitfaced brat who called him some ridiculous name like “doodoo head” (and at 5 years old, being called a ‘doodoo head’ is like being marked with a Scarlet A), or steals his lunch (you do NOT take food from Holden), or Holden pulls an asshole move like he does at home and uses his size as a weapon, OR the favorite of all school stories: the crazy mom- then what CAN I write about??
This is a load of piss in my cheerios.

Perhaps if I refuse to speak to any of the school-marms, I can write, snark, and bitch about them to my cold little heart’s content; and trust me, I have no problem avoiding other moms. I am a professional at it in real life.

Posted on December 15, 2011 by Holdin' Holden 3 Comments
Holdin' Holden

About Holdin' Holden



  • Well I am glad to be one of your mommy friends, and I promise you can write about them to me whenever you want, we’ll bitch together because mine goes next year too.

  • In my intro to family’s class, we were taught that until the age of 5, kids should be taken care of by their moms or grandparents or some kind of family members. They need to build a relationship with caregivers before they are ready to go be in a classroom .. idk, just something I remember from my notes lol.
    ALSO, i’m dealing with a similar problem for my blog. There’s sooo many things I wish I could share, my fits of jealousy, or issues I’ve had with certain people.. just can’t do it cuz they read my blog.. ugghh
    Just don’t tell them they have a blog 🙂 It sounds like your readers are gonna be in for a real treat once he starts kindergarten *evil chuckle*

  • If it makes you laugh, my youngest 3 (of 5) are 14, 13 and 11. At a parochial school selected by my EX-husband. Following? I am THE scarlet letter. I have tattoos, I swear, I wear jeans, I don’t wear a wedding ring. Those snarky bitches and their equally high headed daughters? Plenty of fodder for my serpent tongues prose.

    So do what you do best! Be yourself!