Oh holidays- why must you be so scornful?
From Thanksgiving to Christmas, it’s a mishmosh of happiness and bullshit, and you never know which end of the shit stick you’re going to get.
Thanksgiving 2011 meant to me…
1. Taking an hour to style my hair and then having it look like shit an hour later.
2. Having to watch my kids like a hawk the entire time while the rest of the family was merrily enjoying the day, because mine were the youngest there, meaning they thought they weren’t and attempted to run into the streets, fall down the stairs, and wreck each and every Christmas decoration in the house.
3. Stuffing myself with as much food as humanly possible, because it was so delicious I couldn’t help myself, and then immediately regretting it once the “holy fuck i’m too full” feeling sank in, and the gigantic food baby protruded from my stomach.
4. Getting ditched for an hour and having to hover over the children alone because Thomas decided to go ahead and get in on a game of Cornhole without informing me first. Thanks for that.
5. Sometimes having to deal with family members that you can only barely stand to make casual conversation with.
6. Going home and wanting nothing more than to drink away the pain of the 6-month gestational food-baby-fetus with some rum, and realizing that it is Thanksgiving, all of the liquor stores are closed, and our house is dry… and then having to settle for bitch beer.
7. Wanting to upload the gazillion photos taken throughout the day, and realizing that my computer is STILL broken, and I have nothing to upload them to since all I have to fiddle around on is Thomas’ work computer and I have been strictly advised to not upload anything or click on anything weird.
In all honesty, though, it was a fabulous Thanksgiving with great family and good food. And we have enough leftovers for a week. SCORE, lazy dinners!
I hope you all had a fabulous day!
Please stop Complimenting my kids’ “Good” Behavior goo.gl/fb/rwfojS
Hard pass from me pic.twitter.com/VayvW1eopK
I've gotten to the point where I'd let my kids summon a demon with a Ouija board before I'd let them play Monopoly together again.
Parenthood is when you start counting the minutes to bed time before 11am.
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