I remember the days where the hardest part about going out was figuring out what to wear. Hours spent primping and modeling in the mirror, trying to make myself look like what I deemed to be presentable.
My how things have changed.
oh, it still takes me the same amount of time to get ready, but for a far different reason: KIDS.
Bless my friends hearts for inviting out a lonely old housewife, they have the best intentions, and I always end up the asshole who has to say no.
No, it’s the kids dinner time.
I wouldn’t feel right leaving Thomas alone with them… again.
I’m already in my pajamas…. yes, I realize it isn’t even 9pm.
No, we don’t have a sitter.
Even if the event is kid friendly, there’s just so much random shit that goes into taking out 2 kids for more than 30 minutes at a time that it’s no wonder i’ve become a recluse.
Do we need to bring their milks?
Should we bring an extra change of clothes for Parker in case, God forbid, he pisses himself in public?
Do they need a snack?
Where the fuck is his other shoe?
What temperature is it outside? Do they need jackets? Where did we put the light jacket?
how late will we be there? I sure as shit don’t want them falling asleep on the way home and then staying up fucking night.
No longer are the carefree days of being able to run out of the door on a whim whenever the fuck I want, and as well intentioned as my friends without children may be, I don’t think they fully grasp that.
ONE DAY they will… but for now, asshole Jenny it is.
@Julieannefiu I still sing WRAPPED UP LIKE A DOUCHE. I think they're lying about the "real" lyrics
I sang SO many embarrassingly wrong song lyrics with such confidence. pic.twitter.com/Ww5TaAxY3r
@AndreaPerez0217 Not that I'm biased, but I highly recommend ;) Hope you enjoy!
Parenthood: you think it's gonna be all hugs & booboo kisses, but it's really cooking food everyone hates & scraping boogers off of walls.
School system: Here! Have a half day on Friday the 13th! Me: pic.twitter.com/Dy18C8R3dD
Spooking the Kids Without Scarring them for LIFE With Netflix! (and a giveaway!) goo.gl/fb/tkeWgB
I've never felt more in tune with nature than while watching my 8yo barf in the front yard this morning like a wild animal. Such majesty.