I’ve mentioned in many previous blogs my disdain with the amount of toys flooding this house. I type this right now as I am surrounded with stuffed animals and I can’t even put my feet on the floor without being stabbed in the arch by something plastic and pointy.
Currently, though, there is something far higher on my shit-list.
I don’t know what it is with kids and playing with the most random crap they can find in the house that they aren’t supposed to.
Most kids choose boxes instead of the toys that come in them; Magazines, which they then rip into tiny little shreds that could double as confetti; Pots and pans, which can really only end in migraines; plastic bags, a gigantic suffocation hazard but that never seems to matter. Toilet paper… do I really need to expand on that one?
It’s always the stupidest and most highly obnoxious thing in the entire house that your child will latch onto and will bring them hours worth of glee, and you hours worth of annoyance and frustration.
For my kids? It’s every single pillow and every single blanket in the entire household.
No, this is not the awesome “pillow and blanket fort” usage from our days of yore- my kids don’t seem to be that cool yet.
Their game is to pull every piece of fluffy goodness in our house into the living room and then attempt to smother each other for hours on end. Rolling around, screaming, swinging blankets around their heads like lassos.
Many times I have walked into the living room, and the kids have seemingly disappeared. Minutes pass, and then I realize that there is an unusually large stack of pillows and blankets on the couch, and this unusually large stack is twitching. Very suddenly, a child goes flying off the couch and crying while the other one laughs hysterically at his misfortune.
This is an every day occurrence. Every day I have to remake every bed in the house, at least twice. Every day I have to hide the couch pillows so someone isn’t smothering someone else. This also makes my couch potatoing very uncomfortable.
I am not sure what I will sleep with or laze on without pillows and blankets, but I am tempted to burn them in a bonfire and laugh as they turn to ash, just so the kids don’t bother me with them anymore.
Of course, I am nearly 100% positive that anything I find to sleep with to replace what I get rid of, they will find a way to annoy me with, as that is their job. Adorable evil little things, children are.
Please stop Complimenting my kids’ “Good” Behavior goo.gl/fb/rwfojS
Hard pass from me pic.twitter.com/VayvW1eopK
I've gotten to the point where I'd let my kids summon a demon with a Ouija board before I'd let them play Monopoly together again.
Parenthood is when you start counting the minutes to bed time before 11am.
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