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Hoarding and Thieving

I was always proud… or at least relieved, that as Holden grew older, he never became attached to any certain item. No blankies, no stuffed animals, not tags (CURSE YOU TAGS), nothing. He does have a strange addiction to socks and eating his fingernails, but otherwise he’s been good! It wasn’t hard to take his pacifier away, and he never got so attached to his diapers that he refused to shit or piss anywhere else.

However, over these years, more and more stuffed animals made their way into our house. At this point, I can’t even remember how they got here or who gave them to us, but slowly there became so many we had no idea what to do with them. Too lazy to donate, and too cheap to toss them out since they’d never been used. We just tossed them into a bin and left them to their own devices, likely to collect dust and never receive any love from a child (like the Toys from Toy Story would like you to believe they so desperately wanted).

Over time, I began to notice that these stuffed animals we had hid away began to make their want into Holden’s bed. One became two, which became five… and now his bed looks like one of those old spinster beds, overflowing with a cornucopia of plush toys. So many that if they stayed in the bed WITH Holden, he would be smothered by fake fur in his sleep.

He went from not giving a flying fart what he slept with, to INSISTING on having every single stuffed animal in the entire house in his bed with him while he sleeps. If one is missing? You’d damn well better believe he notices… how? I have no freaking idea.
It is slightly infuriating, because during the day the boys take the stuffed animals and basically explode them into every corner of the house- so finding a “missing” one is an hour long process.

Parker has always been an obsessive kid. His thumb, his snuggler, his boppy and especially the boppy cover, now his precious “Melmo.” Above all else, he is obsessed with being JUST.LIKE.HOLDEN.
Everything Holden does, he has to do. Every annoying, obnoxious, ridiculous thing Holden does, Parker is right behind him attempting to do the same thing.
Jumping on the couch? Check. Falling down and busting his ass? Check. if Holden jumped off a bridge, I would bet money on that Parker would be flinging himself off right afterward. Yes, it is that intense. I understand it’s big brother admiration, but a line has to be drawn somewhere, doesn’t it?

Bed time has become a bit of a fiasco lately, because Parker has taken notice of Holden’s massive stuffed animal collection and is now incredibly jealous.
What, I only get one fucking stuffed animal and an elmo with hard plastic eyes that smash me in the head? I don’t think so, lady.
Every night now, he attempts to steal one of Holden’s stuffed animals to take back to his room. Holden is displeased by this, and FREAKS THE HELL OUT.
“But I NEED that one!”
No, honey, you have 45 other stuffed animals crammed into your twin bed. You don’t NEED that one, you needed to lose it!

Apparently one of Holden’s precious stuffed animals was just not enough for Parker, because the other day while we were upstairs after i’d gotten the boys dressed (Holden had gone back down to do who the hell knows what, probably rolling around in a pile of legos like a psychopath) when I caught something funny of out the corner of my eye.
There was Parker, going back and forth from Holden’s room to his, stealing one single stuffed animal at a time and lying them carefully in his bed. AS IF HOLDEN WOULDN’T NOTICE!
Little thief.

When I called him out on it, he looked like a little deer in headlights. Eyes like saucers and a face of “I didn’t do anything!”
Let’s just say that the thieving did not stick. Holden is currently in bed with about a thousand stuffed animals, and i’m pretty sure he stole Parker’s snuggler just to get back at him.
You know what they say about karma.

Posted on November 4, 2011 by Holdin' Holden 1 Comment
Holdin' Holden

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1 Comment

  • I love this. Buh is an only child, but my sister and two of my best friends have sons his age. We all spent a lot of time together, and so he has ‘brothers’ just not BLOOD from me. This was the kind of thing we dealt with on a regular basis. And now, with cologne and clothes and music and things of that nature… So heads up love… THEY DON’T GROW OUT OF IT! lol! *BSWK*