Sibling rivalry is no new concept- it’s been around i’m sure since siblings themselves have been. Hell, I was told that the first thing my brother did when I was brought home from the hospital after being born was to hit me- I am NO stranger to it. We fought SO often, and SO badly, that i’m quite surprised my mom didn’t go completely insane, or “take us back to the cabbage patch” as she so often threatened to do. My brother and I didn’t get along until our twenties, the rivalry was that severe.
Holden and Parker had such a strong bond for the first two years of Parker’s life, I guess I got my hopes up on that sibling rivalry would hold off in their case for a few more years at least. As always, with those two, I thought wrong. Oh so very wrong.
Holden’s new favorite thing on earth to do is to torment the ever loving shit out of Parker. All day every day, all they do is fight. And it’s not just fighting over toys, or the typical “i’m going to take what you have and run away with it while giggling wildly”, attempting to cover Parker with as many blankets as humanly possible while he screams “NO!”, or just being assholes to each other- since Halloween, Holden has found an entirely new way to make Parker’s life hell.
With Halloween comes a lot of what children would consider “scary” decorations. Skulls, jack-o-lanterns, clothing with monsters on them. I love Halloween, but we don’t go all out on decorating, so all the awesome scary stuff is missing from our house (aka, we don’t own any).
Parker has still found a way to be terrified of the most mundane Halloween decor, and as soon as Holden caught onto this, he used it to his complete and total advantage.
Holden was wearing a shirt with a skull on it. Holden realized very quickly that Parker was terrified of this shirt (who the hell knows why, it wasn’t scary in the slightest). Holden decided the best thing to do would be to call Parker’s name, have him look at it, and then start screaming “RAAAAARRRRR!” and chasing him with it. This got so obnoxious and tormented Parker to the point where I was pulling the shirt over Holden’s head to force him to stop before he relented, apologized, and swore not to do it again.
Trick or treating pumpkin with a smiley face? This also chased Parker around for over an hour.
Add in a decorative skull to the mix. You’d think that thing was hissing and spitting blood, Parker was so damn scared of it- I blame Holden for that fear. “IT’S A MONSTER! IT’S GONNA GET YOU!”
cue Parker, running away, crying and screaming, and Holden chasing after him while laughing hysterically.
Holden also likes to pretend his hands are spiders, and then attacks Parker with them. This makes me sad that I cannot take his hands away like I can everything else.
A new study was released recently that found that 98% of all children under the age of 10 are sociopaths. Why was I not surprised?
As much as I LOVE (and I do mean LOVE) Halloween… this year, i’m glad it’s over. All the decorations are now in hiding and it gives Holden far less to torment Parker with… although i’m sure he will get creative and find other ways, I have at least unloaded the terror gun.
Did you know that toothpaste becomes stronger than concrete if left on surfaces for too long? I didn't either. Thanks, kids!
Y'all can keep your creepy little elves- my kids live in fear of the PRESENT PRISON. holdinholden.com/2014/12/the-…
Cut Yourself some Christmas Slack goo.gl/fb/4WVJe2
My day as a parent isn't complete until I've threatened to sell at least one of my children on the black market. Twice. At least.
He only has himself to blame pic.twitter.com/UffL59jSmz
I'm forever teaching my kids to never say never... but... I'm breaking my own rules, here. NEVER EVER EVER will there be an elf on my shelf. Here's why: holdinholden.com/2012/11/why-…
If you have the desire to be in charge of someone else's bedtime who listens to you even less than you listen to yourself when you say "GO TO SLEEP ALREADY!"- having kids is definitely for you.