Yes, it is real, and it is strong.
I woke up this morning after the show feeling like absolute death warmed over. And I blame Taylor Hanson. Rumors swirled at the show that he was under the weather, and he sure as shit was hoarse onstage… I guess my joking around that I would steal him away from his wife must have had some kind of subliminal effect on my body- because it convinced itself that we made out- and I was so sick last night I didn’t sleep at all, and then tried to rise from bed feeling like i’d been hit by a truck.
Curse you, Taylor Hanson.
I am now swimming in a haze of cold medicine and snot- and too exhausted and drowsy to really write a coherent blog on the entire night- not that the most of you really want to read about a Hanson show, so I guess it works out.
I do have some funny points to make, though. So i’ll try.
1. yes I did have too much to drink at dinner with the girls. When we got to the restaurant for dinner, my spine was hurting so bad that I was feeling slightly homicidal, and my migraine had just worn off. What better way to kill the pain than with drinks?
2. These drinks I had made me go wild. I forgot just how dancy Hanson’s music is. I do not dance. I cannot dance. I am a terrible dancer. I did not care. I shook my old ass like it was 1997 and I loved every second of it.
This made me realize something:
I am clearly slacking off on my workouts. I danced for a full hour or so at the show and hardly even got winded; and I was seriously going at it like a teenybopping schoolgirl,
Either I need to drink before working out, so I do not realize just how hard i’m working, or I need to listen to Hanson.
2. I was shocked how many people were there. I did not know the appeal of Hanson was still so strong. I did not know how many DUDES love Hanson. I also did not know that there would, in fact, be teenyboppers there. 16 year old girls in Hanson shirts screaming like they were auditioning for a horror film. They must have been 4 years old when Hanson came out. This made me giggle.
3. These teenyboppers were no joke when it came to meeting Hanson. I think that because they were popular as young boys- it’s hard to see them in any other light. They are, in fact, grown men with families. BIG families (I like to call them baby machines). This does not matter to crazy teenybopping fangirls.
My friends and I waited out front of the venue to see if they would come out that way and not the back (where there were buttloads of said crazies).
Lo and Behold, Zac comes sauntering out the front door, hushing us as he did, I guess as to not attract a crowd.
What I didn’t see happen is that one of the crazy young fangirls basically bumrushed him. I still am unclear as to whether she touched his no-no area, or just got in his face and tried to drive-by makeout… but he was NOT having it.
He whipped around, slamming me in the tit with his bookbag, and went speed walking away while muttering “NOT COOL!”
Zac Hanson: Crazy fangirl hater. Not that I blame him. But it did mean that we got shafted and had to go walking over to the insane line by their bus and wait all the way at the end… another hour or so in the freezing cold.
But alas, we did get to meet him (for me, it was meet him again, and I did in fact show him an old ass picture to which he asked if he was 12 in it. That made me feel old.)
All jokes of fangirldom aside (as I used to be one, and I find it hysterical), going to that show and reliving my crazy glory days made me realize what a profound influence Hanson has had on my life.
Had it not been for them, I may have never picked up the guitar. MMMBop is the first song I ever learned. I started playing the guitar because I wanted to learn their songs. This lead to an 11 year musical career for me.
Had it not been for Taylor Hanson saying his favorite book was ‘The Catcher in the Rye’, I never would have read it. I named Holden after the main character in that book.
Anyways, I had a blast. I didn’t think I would have SO much fun, but it was awesome to get out of my cage for a night and rock out to what some people would consider ‘cheesy’ music- even if Taylor Hanson got me sick as fuck. It’s cool, I still love them.
Please stop Complimenting my kids’ “Good” Behavior goo.gl/fb/rwfojS
Hard pass from me pic.twitter.com/VayvW1eopK
I've gotten to the point where I'd let my kids summon a demon with a Ouija board before I'd let them play Monopoly together again.
Parenthood is when you start counting the minutes to bed time before 11am.
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